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March 14, 2017


Substitute teacher accused of drinking box of wine in front of students

(Thanks to Vernon Bowen, who says "Can't say as I'd blame her.")


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No indeed, but you can't drink a whole box without bar snacks. Otherwise, you're likely to stagger around incoherently and throw up in the garbage pail.

Meanie told me.

If you're not going to share, forget it.

I thought the teachers union mandated champagne only during school hours.

Whatever happened to sneaking pulls from a brown paper bag?

She has to drink because kids don't like the substitute teacher.(ha) Plus she doesn't get paid much hence the box of wine.

So, was she drinking from the regular teacher's box? Was that the issue?

You're absolutely correct, Jeff, but just remember that parents will come down really hard if they find out that you drank red with pretzels in front of their kids. Standards matter.

That teacher was setting a poor example for high school kids. If she had brought a box of wine for everyone there wouldn't have been any problem.

No joke. When my wife was supervising in a middle school she found a substitute passed out at her desk, with a half-empty bottle in the bottom drawer. The kids said she had been drinking all morning.

And another one had a sort of breakdown, and took it on herself to give an improvised sex education demonstration (complete with banana and condom) to the class, without approval.

This Juicy-Juice box musta gone bad...really.

Having briefly attempted to teach in that mess referred to as the public educational system, this person has my full sympathies.

Teacger's staffroom motto: I drink, therefore I am.

Hunh, I thought it was called cardboardeaux now.

there gonna hafta raze they're standards, like in New York

"Some drink to remember, some drink to forget. I drink to get bagged."
----Jackie Gleason

I am shocked! Wine in a box? The teacher should show some class and drink champagne in a proper flute.

really, she should've taken the bag Out of the box, stuck a straw in it & made her own *adult* Capri sun

The 26 Best Boxed Wines

Whether hiking, boating, substitute teaching or hosting a super-sized summer soirée, these 26 wines are both portable and pour-worthy.

The 26 Best Boxed Wines.

Story problem: A substitute teacher begins drinking a box of wine during her first class. The school resource officer begins his workday at 8:00 a.m. How many ounces of wine per hour will the substitute teacher need to drink in order to vomit and be taken into custody by the resource officer at 9:45 a.m.? Show your work.

Here's my work :
*throws pi day pie in rudolph's face'

"Hello, Kelly Services?"

"Yeah, we need a substitute teacher, pronto."

"Right ruffled appearance, looks don't matter."

"A box?"

"The box is fine."


"If she's good with kids we can make it work. If she has trouble standing, we'll just prop her up. Maybe with the box."

I guess powdered wine hasn't really caught on yet.


From Joe Walsh: I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

Also from Joe Walsh:

Every Saturday we work in the yard, pick up the dog doo, hope that it's hard.

Very McCartney/Lennonish

Substitute teachers make about as much as fast food workers. For that you expect them to bring Champagne to work?

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