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January 31, 2017
MEANWHILE IN SPORTS
WE'VE BEEN ON FLIGHTS LIKE THAT
Saudi prince buys plane tickets for his 80 birds of prey
(Thanks to Le Petomane, Jan in in Grimsby and Fabian Marson)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
The Earth Is Farting on the Moon
(Thanks to Al Barkafski)
FLORIDAAAAAAA
Fla. pastor flees naked and afraid, begs forgiveness for tryst
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
GOOD NEWS!
Our world is an illusion and we are all living in a 'vast and complex hologram' say astrophysicists
(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "This explains so much.")
UNCANNY RESEMBLANCE
A huge mouth and no anus – this could be our earliest known ancestor
(Thanks to Ralph, Ross C., Bryan Matthews, Le Petomane, Peter Metrinko and The Perts) (Also Bill Hudgins, who says "Over time, this predicament was overcorrected.")
PENNSYLVANIA CRIME REPORT
Unfortunately, our strict policy prohibits us from presenting the Pennsylvania Crime Report.
(Thanks to Ralph)
MIAMI AVIATION UPDATE
(Thanks to Al Barkafski and Layla)
January 30, 2017
'HER WORK HAS GOTTEN HER ATTENTION FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD'
Texas mom that makes jewelry out of breast milk appears on 'Steve Harvey'
(Thanks to Ross Couples)
AND THE SO-CALLED 'UNITED NATIONS' DOES NOTHING
FUN COUPLE
HAPPY THANKSGIVING, DUDE
Marijuana-smoked turkey now served in Denver at Cook's Fresh Market
(Thanks to Glenda Mostek)
BECAUSE WE DON'T ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH THINGS TO BE ALARMED ABOUT
Corn turning French hamsters into deranged cannibals
(Thanks to Jay Brandes and Ralph)
January 29, 2017
SEND IT TO WASHINGTON
N.B. couple used giant manure heap to harass neighbours, judge rules
(Thanks to Roberto and The Perts)
EW
Seriously: Ew.
(Thanks to Steve K.)
DUDE
IT'LL TURN UP
January 27, 2017
WE SAW THE OTTAWA CROTCH TEXTERS OPEN FOR WHITESNAKE
Watch out 'crotch texters', the police are looking down on you
(Thanks to The Perts)
INCREDIBLY, THIS DID NOT HAPPEN IN FLORIDA
MEANWHILE ABROAD
‘Psychic’ cat sold for £67k to a Russian witch after ‘ruining’ previous owner’s marriage
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS
There are Giant Clouds of Alcohol Floating in Space
(Thanks to Chris Johnson)
ALWAYS A SHREWD LEGAL STRATEGY
IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO GO
Guess the state.
(Thanks to Thayer Conrad)
FLORIDAAAAAAA
Woman Flashes Judge in Broward Bond Court
(Thanks to Ross Couples)
Update: This is old and was posted in error, which will not save judi from being fired.
ECONOMIC OUTLOOK IMPROVES
Police investigate money ‘falling from the sky’ in downtown Indianapolis
(Thanks to Ross C. and Le Petomane)
HE RECEIVED TWO LLAMAS IN CHANGE
Driver leaves camel at toll booth after disagreement with staff
(Thanks to Ralph, who asks "Why didn't they call for a camel tow?")
FLORIDA ARREST REPORT
One suspect looks highly suspicious.
(Thanks to funny man)
'LIKE UNDERWATER SPIDERMEN'
The US Navy's new wonder material is synthetic hagfish slime
(Thanks to Ralph)
January 26, 2017
LITTLE CAN BE DONE, AS THEY ALL HAVE VALID DRIVERS' LICENSES
Florida neighbors urge HOA to do something about home-invading wild boars
We saw them open for Phish.
(Thanks to Jon Harris)
DUDE, WANNA DO SOME BURGER KING?
MEDICAL BREAKTHROUGH OF THE WEEK SO FAR
Spiritual healer cures blindness by licking patients' EYEBALLS after sterilising mouths with booze
Autoplay.
(Thanks to Ross Couples)
TOTALLY JUSTIFIED
Man attacks family and sets Fresno home ablaze in fracas over 'inadequate' cigarette, police say
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
'TRENDY'
San Francisco residents are now playing RUSSIAN ROULETTE with tasers in a trendy bar
(Thanks to Patty Villanova)
STILL, IT'S TRAGIC
January 25, 2017
MARY TYLER MOORE
Damn. She was a wonderful comedic actress. For a time she was part of the best sitcom, maybe the best show, on TV. Damn.
Update:
Not a cute article to try to get something posted, but just to second your "Damn" about MTM. RIP. She was indeed a wonderful person and her show was SO good. If you have a chance, you might want to mention that she was very active with JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation), an organization that is near and dear to my heart, as my wife of over 30 years was diagnosed with Type I Diabetes when she was three and, unhappily, my daughter was diagnosed at age 20 (she is now 23). It is an insidious disease that requires 24/7 maintenance of blood sugar. It is a completely different disease than Type 2 Diabetes, which usually can be managed with diet and exercise. Type 1 (Juvenile Diabetes) is an auto-immune disease. Anyway, TMI I know, but if you have a chance to raise awareness of Type 1, it would be a wonderful thing. Full disclosure: I am on the Board of my local JDRF Chapter and as mentioned have two family members with the disease. JDRF is one of the most efficient charities in the country and Mary Tyler Moore did so much for us. Her passing makes me very sad.
All the best,
Jeffrey Brown
BUSY BUSY MAN
THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED
Scientists have discovered the secret to happiness - and it's stripping off and getting naked
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
YET MANY OF US THINK WITH THEM
A chimpanzee’s testes weigh more than a third of its brain while ours weigh in at less than 3%.
(Thanks to Patty Villanova)
CARRY ONE WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES
A woman flew through a tornado in a bathtub and survived
(Thanks to Al Barkafski and Le Petomane, who says: "Soon to be a ride at Disneyland.")
NEVER SELL DRUGS TO A KANGAROO
Truckie jailed after giant kangaroo helps foil drug deal
(Thanks to Janice Gelb)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
(Thanks to Al Barkafski)
ART UPDATE FROM DOWN UNDER
Australian Artist Creates Golden Clitoris Statue
(Thanks to Janice Gelb)
FLORIDAAAAAAA
Man with mop on head seeks egg in Port St. Lucie
(Thanks to John Mayson, Jeff Meyerson, Ross C. and Ralph)
TWANGED WHAT?
January 24, 2017
PROOF ENOUGH FOR THIS BLOG
Bigfoot hunters say claw marks are evidence of 'Alabama Booger Monster'
(Thanks to Rick Day)
CSI: NEW HAMPSHIRE
Manchester woman cuts herself performing sword tricks, gets arrested
(Thanks to Poker)
WHERE'S THE FIRE, DUDE?
(Thanks to Craig Roberts and B'game)
CLASSY!
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "In Florida there is no discount as the restaurant would go bankrupt.")