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November 30, 2016


St. Augustine woman stole Magic Mike DVD, dry salami from Walmart

This has been the Florida Crime Report.

(Thanks to John Mayson)


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If only she'd been able to hide the salami, she wouldn't be in trouble and she might not have felt the need to steal Magic Mike.

Hey, she was lonely. Very, very lonely IYKWIM.

She planned to give away some of the items as Christmas gifts, the report said.

Thank goodness she had the sense to choose dry salami. Wet salami (Or so I hear) is REALLY hard to wrap.

At least she wasn't greedy. She could have stolen Blu-rays . . .

Magic Mike and the Dry Salamis would be a good name for a rock band.

We trust she wasn't planning to save the chicken for Christmas.

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