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July 21, 2016

SOON WE WILL HAVE NO BASIC AMERICAN RIGHTS LEFT

A couple is facing felony charges after they were spotted riding a stolen lawn mower in the nude at 8:30 AM on a Missouri road, records show.

(Thanks to Todd Lawson and Andrew Mendez)

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Cute couple.

So, which part was illegal? Being in Missouri?

'a $5000 Kubota "zero-turn radius" model'

Kinky.

Fire Judi again.

You left Cleveland for this?

I'll have what they're having.

But not with them.

If I had a quarter for every time I found a lawn mower abandoned in the woods, I would have no money whatsoever.

Just a couple crazy kids.

But Missouri is the "Show Me" state.

Everything is illegal in Missouri. Especially being in the, or a, "bootheel", whatever that means.

Being from Misery I can attest to never having a nude woman on my lap when I drove my orange riding mower while I was naked. In fact, my orange riding mower came with a nude woman, but I never knew what she was for and just tossed her in the back of the pickup alongside the ammo and left her there.

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