Dave Barry's Blog

YOUR DAILY POKEMON GO EPIDEMIC UPDATE

Milford man follows Pokemon Go into police custody

(Thanks to Judy B.)

Man quits job to become full-time Pokémon hunter

Pokemon Craze Leads to Trespassing Epidemic

Death by Pokemon? Public safety fears mount as 'Pokemon Go' craze continues

Two fall from cliff reportedly playing Pokemon Go

Pokémon Go player bitten by venomous snake in North Texas

 

TIME TO CONSIDER THE 'OREGON OPTION'

Dead whale gets a tow back out to sea -- for the sixth time

(Thanks to PirateBoy)

THEY RIDE SPECIALLY MODIFIED BICYCLES

Saturday’s Tour de France stage might be infested with llamas

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

AHEM

Three-year-old boy 'savagely attacked by angry group of squirrels in country park'

(Thanks to John Mayson)

BLESS HER HEART

91-year-old woman fills in crossword at museum - only to discover it was a £60,000 artwork

(Thanks to Steve Thompson)

BECAUSE IT WAS THINKING, 'WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING *HERE*?'

Minnesota alligator was not aggressive

(Thanks to oneblankspace)

A TRAILER OF BROWN SUGAR IS BEING RUSHED TO THE SCENE

Semitrailer full of bananas catches fire in Oregon

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

INCREDIBLY, ALCOHOL APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN INVOLVED

Drunk passenger stands up and urinates in the aisle of easyJet flight

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

TOW IT TO WASHINGTON

A dead whale that keeps returning to the Southern California coast has been towed out to sea — again.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

DANG

A porn star is not the new British prime minister

(Thanks to Kevin Smith and The Perts)

UPDATE ON WHAT WE CAN ALL AGREE IS THE BIGGEST SINGLE THREAT FACING THE WORLD TODAY

New York man, 28, 'extremely lucky' to walk away barely injured after he drove car straight into tree while playing Pokemon Go

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Possible Glitch Sends 'Pokemon Go' Players to S. Korean City

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias, who says "Yes, I downloaded the app, but only because I wanted to discourage my kids from using it.")

MEANWHILE DOWN UNDER

Australian man admits to amateur testicle surgery

(Thanks to Craig Roberts and Allen at Division)

MAKES SENSE TO US

Scientists have come up with a solution that will reduce the number of lions being shot by farmers in Africa - painting eyes on the butts of cows.

(Thanks to Gregory Snow)

THERE IS NO GOOD REASON FOR THOSE THINGS TO BE IN CIVILIAN HANDS

Fort Lauderdale man used guitar as weapon in failed robbery bid, cops say

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Autoplay.

FLORIDA MARINE REPORT

Florida beachgoer finds pounds of cocaine floating in water

BOLO

Man Wraps Face In Paper Towels, Robs Gas Station

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, who says "made a clean getaway.")

ARTISANAL!

According to Knoxville firefighters, a woman melted her tub after she tried to barbecue a brisket in it.

(Thanks to DorkFish)

POKEMON GO WORLD DOMINATION UPDATE

Pokémon GO addict stabbed while playing, refuses to get treatment so he can continue

(Thanks to John Mayson)

Pokemon Go Leads Players Into Intimacy Boutique

(Thanks to Ralph)

Two 'Pokémon Go' players in Fullerton help catch attempted-murder suspect

(Thanks to manual tomato)

BIG TIPPER

Van Gogh cut off his whole ear instead of just the lobe and gave it to a brothel maid, new research finds

(Thanks to Jeff Schneider)

SEEMS REASONABLE

TOS agreements require giving up first born—and users gladly consent

(Thanks to Steve @ Secret Location, who says "I have no kids, so win-win.")

THAT'S ALMOST 50 PERCENT!

Nearly Two-Thirds of Americans Can’t Pass a Basic Test of Financial Literacy

(Thanks to coscolo, who says "And most of them are in Washington, DC.")

HE IS WELCOME TO DRIVE AT NIGHT IN FLORIDA

Driver arrested for wearing headlamp in place of headlights

(Thanks to William Charles, who says "You don’t want to know what he was using for a horn.") (Also thanks to The Perts and Roberto)

IT EVEN HAS A USB PORT!

The clip-on armpit fan.

(Thanks to Cassie Silvola)

YOU'D THINK HE'D BE HAPPY ABOUT IT

China's president is bugged by comparison to beetle with 'moderately long genital segment'

(Thanks to Roberto)

WEIRD, BECAUSE WE SAW THE ENDANGERED FERRETS OPEN FOR THE VACCINE-LACED M&Ms

US government plans to use drones to fire vaccine-laced M&Ms near endangered ferrets

(Thanks to Joseph Green and Janice Gelb)

SOMEBODY'S GONNA BE GROUNDED

Boise homeowner finds child's C-minus report card (from 1979) hiding under carpet

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

TOTALLY APPROPRIATE

Drunken man pulled Glock from pants, tried to give safety lessons at deli, police say

(Thanks to funny man)

Please note that, in keeping with our strict policy, this blog is not making fun of the man's name.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Nearly naked woman crashes into boyfriend’s truck in Glades

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO TAKE A STAND

Riot at Butler County Jail reportedly over mashed potatoes

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE SAW D.E.S.S. OPEN FOR R.E.M.

Digitally engineered SEX SHORTS improve performance of male wearers by training pelvic floor muscles

(Thanks to funny man)

Autoplay.

HEH

Students spot a very rude design flaw on their university's mug - and it's getting a lot of attention

(Thanks to funny man)

POKEMON GO UPDATE

Holocaust Museum to visitors: Please stop catching Pokémon here

Pokémon Go player finds motorist passed out behind wheel

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

News Anchor Walks Through Meteorologist's Live Shot While Playing Pokemon Go

(Thanks to Steve K)

THIS JUST IN

DONG DONG EYES REPEAT TRAMPOLINE GOLD AT RIO 2016

(Thanks to JB Haviland)

This blog had the honor of witnessing Mr. Dong's gold-medal performance in London.

WE THOUGHT THE NAVY WAS ON OUR SIDE

Navy Developing ‘Robot Squirrel’ as Scout

(Thanks to Nelson F., who asks "What could go wrong?")

FASHION UPDATE

'Fish bras' are the latest bizarre online craze as female anglers pose topless with their catches

(Thanks to Ralph)

CANADA

Federal government leaps into action to save endangered Quebec frogs

(Thanks to The Perts)

THE COURT DEMANDS JUMPERS

A woman has been told she won’t have to go to jail for a road rage attack if she can prove she can knit.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

THEY NEED TO EVACUATE THIS COUNTRY

Eagle tries to carry off Australian boy

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

WE CAN'T SAY THIS WAS UNEXPECTED

Beaver attacks 67-year-old paddleboarder on Beaver Lake

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

A Florida man was arrested on June 24 after police said he attempted to steal a boat outside a restaurant, but forgot the most important thing — untying it.

(Thanks to Ralph)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Woman who was driving while praying with her eyes closed hits house

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

SHRINKAGE?

There’s Actually A Historic Reason Ancient Statues Have Teeny Tiny Penises

KINKY

The fish that swap gender 20 times a day: Frequent sex changes of chalk bass are the secret behind their lifelong relationships

(Thanks to Patty Villanova)

DEFINITELY NOT LOW-FLOW

Chinese University Constructs New Building That Looks Suspiciously Like A Giant Toilet

It's for the North China University of Water Conservancy and Electric Power.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

NOT FROM US

Sand sculpture of busty Cape Cod mermaid draws complaints

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

TOTALLY JUSTIFIED

A 30-Person Brawl Broke Out in Walmart After Some Teens Laughed at a Woman's Dress

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

WE'LL CALL YOU

Man tries robbing Chuck E. Cheese during job interview

(Thanks to Chris Johnson)

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Radar Image of Rain Over Texas Resembles the Shape of a Jalepeño

(Thanks to John Mayson)

UPDATE ON THE BURGEONING MENACE THAT IS POKEMON GO WHICH CONTINUES TO BURGEON OUT OF CONTROL WHILE THE SO-CALLED 'UNITED NATIONS' DOES NOTHING

Pokemon Go: Man’s house accidentally turned into a ‘gym’, causing huge problems

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

MUG SHOT OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Check out the second one in the slideshow.

(Thanks to manual tomato)