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July 23, 2016

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

8:22 a.m. Someone saw two elderly women drag a bear off of Highway 2 East.

9:42 p.m. Reportedly, a drunken man shot a firework “out of his butt” in the direction of children who were sitting on a dock in Lakeside.

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

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Send Mr. Fireworks to Washington.

Freddy the Finger would have a point or two to make.

2:46 p.m. A Kalispell man reported that the maintenance manager threatened to end his life over excessive water usage.

Someone needs a vacation. Maybe Idaho ?

I'd like to know more about the spastic men in the jeep. If I ever decide to go back to work in an emergency room, I'm going to Flathead County.

@nursecindy - I was wondering about tjose "spastic boys" as well. I learned from google that this is an insult, not actually claiming they had spasms.

Has Flathead County burned down yet? Seemed like a lot of careless tossing of fireworks.

"9:42 a.m. A local man reported that his missing iPad notified him that it had made its way to Florida."

But of course; where else would it have headed?

About the propane tank firework bomb - didn't there used to be mountaintops in the now aptly named Flathead County?

Someone reported that a man wearing fuzzy pajama bottoms was standing between ShopKo and Super 1, looking very “lost.”

We wondered how Christie would handle the rejection.

Didn't Spastic Boys open for someone?

@nursecindy. If you ever work in a Flathead County ER, maybe you could find out if a story I have heard in mining towns is true. If it is, it likely happened there.
A young man is hauled into the ER because cops were called when he repeatedly kept running into a tree, yelling he wanted to die. His blood pressure was messed up and when he became coherent enough to talk, he said he'd consumed a half-stick of dynamite along with a lot of whiskey. He was running into the tree trying to make the dynamite explode.

Le Petomane, I'd like to know if this story is true too! Maybe it would have worked if he'd swallowed a Bic lighter.

@leP - I would drink nitroglycerin. It blows up when shaken. Dynamite is to stable. What a maroon.

Yep, the guy is a maroon. Dynamite is very stable. Nitroglycerine can be set off with a sneeze. I once saw a D-8 Cat back over a full case of dynamite and nothing happened. But I have to wonder about the two elderly women dragging the bear off the road. Did it really want to get off the road or were those two tough old ladies messing with a bear?
Love news from Flathead County, It has to be visited by Dave someday so we can get a fun and biased report.

God bless Flathead County!

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