WHY EVERYBODY IS SO FOND OF THE LEGAL PROFESSION

A Texas lawyer upset that he wasn't provided a cup of soup during a recent meal has notified a restaurant owner that he'll sue if not reimbursed the $2.25 for the soup.

Bonus: Dwain Downing also is seeking $250 in attorney fees for the time spent drafting a letter

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Comments

[manual tomato]

Contract? While supplies last? The Auto Brewery Syndrome is destined to come into play.

[Clankie]

I hope the letter specified into which orifice he would like the soup inserted.

[Meanie the Blue]

Life, liberty and the pursuit of a vigorous slurp must not be denied to any citizen without good cause. On the other hand, one could argue a strong case for the doctrine of smackus upsidae headus in this instance. It will be interesting to see whether this holds up under cross-examination.

[ligirl]

so the soup didn't go down the dwain ?

[Allen at Division]

I would make a Seinfeld Soup Nazi joke, but in this case I kinda think the lawyer needs to take a long walk off a short pier.

[Jan in Grimsby]

Bellend.

[Head_Smashed_In]

I bet most people wish that Dwain was dwowning in that soup right about now.

[MOTW]

That restaurant is within driving distance. I believe I'll have to go there for lunch to show support for the owner.

Shoddy journalism: the article did not specify what kind of soup, but I hope it was Phở so the lawyer can go Phởck himself.

IYKWIM(AITYD), Allen at Division

[Le Petomane]

One sad fact of life most of us learn is that all lawyer jokes are based on truth.

[nursecindy]

I think Shakespeare said it best in his play Henry VI. "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers".

[PirateBoy]

NurseCindy: Shakespeare? I always thought that line came from The Eagle's Don Henley in Get Over It.

[wanderer2575]

@PirateBoy: Yes, it was Shakespeare. Hence the complete line in the song -- "The more I think about it, old Billy was right / Let's kill all the lawyers; kill 'em tonight"

[Jeff Meyerson]

I'm with Meanie.

If this guy thinks he's worth $250 for writing a letter - for himself! - it might take several smacks, and maybe a couple of swirlies.

[Steve K.]

An old billionaire was dying of an incurable disease, but he told his son he wanted to get a law degree. The son didn't understand, but made arrangements with his father's well-supported alma mater, which gladly offered a streamlined online curriculum. The old man finished the brief course and got the degree. With the father on his deathbed, and only minutes to live, the son asked, "Why?" With his dying breath, the old man replied, "One less lawyer."

[MOTW]

More about this from the local news, with excerpts from the lawyer's letter.

[Aguia Cabeluda]

Today`s Special : Chinese Lawyer´s Soup - Soo Mi Nau

[ligirl]

he's charging willful & wonton negligence

[poker]

It's too bad Benji the owner didn't have a Saturday Night Special

[funny man]

Offer the lawyer a free meal with special (body fluids) soup.

[Meanie the Blue]

His salad days are definitely behind him.

[Le Petomane]

A fairly well off, but eccentric man knew he was dying. He called three men to to come to his bed side. They were a preacher, his best friend and his lawyer. He gave each a large envelope stuffed with cash. He gave them instructions to place the envelopes in his coffin before he was buried as he didn't want his family to get any money. They did as asked, then gathered for a drink after the funeral. " I have a confession," said the preacher. "The church needed a new roof and I took the money to pay for it out of that envelope."
The friend said, " that's a relief," I lost my job and took a few thousand out."
The lawyer gave them a scathing look. "I can't believe your lack of ethics. I'll have you know I placed my personal check for the entire amount in that envelope!"

[Nancy Bee]

I've eaten at this restaurant. More than once I have called and had them reserve a bowl of soup when I couldn't get there early enough. It's really that good. The nice owner doesn't deserve this headache.

[manual tomato]

I heard the food was really good at Our Place Restaurant and the cook was exceptional as well as the place being a spotless oasis for lawyer types.

Writer's embellishment: Actually, it's true. I went to a restaurant some years ago and a cook who looked like Leatherface was walking around in the back cooking my order. I had nightmares over it. Hell, I still have nightmares over it. My cook's apron was a little bit more soiled than the apron in the picture. Also my cook's hair was more matted with grease and no mask was necessary to send chills up my spine.

[Le Petomane]

manual tomato. You are generally safe in those type of places until you hear the chainsaw start or banjo music.

[Steve Hansen]

You know they are scraping the bottom of the barrel when a lawyer is reduced to suing for food.

"Will sue for food."

Sounds a lot like "Will work for food", except for the "work" part.

[Ashansilva]

https://www.fiverr.com/ashansilva/type-up-to-20-pages

[Ralph]

His practice must be going down the Dwain.

[Hugh Jass]

You get the same amount of jail time for hitting someone once as you do for breaking their kneecaps with a ball peen hammer.

[Hugh Jass]

I couldn't believe this guy was real, so I looked at his website. He looks like a ham with feet, and the most evil smile I ever saw on someone who wasn't running for president as a Republican. What a nasty piece of work! Smarmy little bully probably threatens to sue everyone he sees.

[oneblankspace]

He had to bill for the letter, because he's not guaranteed a jury trial until $20.