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February 25, 2016

ELEMENTARY, DR. WATSON

Police Hunt Bald Guy In Rogaine Thefts

(Thanks to Le Petomane, DaninDallas and coscolo, who says "Better catch him quick before he grows a head of hair.")

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He just needs to paint on some growth.

I know that guy - its Simpson, Homer Simpson.

Viag@ra is on his list, too. Better stand back.

And they haven't seen hide nor hair of the perp...

No, you fools! By now he'll be hairy!

Officials have "asked the public who might recognize the chrome-domed perp to contact the Mt. Healthy police or the local Crime Stoppers group."

Has anyone caught Chrome-Domed Perp in concert yet?

Reminds me of the stellar column by The Blog from 1993 'Hair in a Spray Can for Guys.'

"Next I tested the New Hair on the head of my co-worker John Dorschner, who was an ideal subject because (1) the top of his head is down to just a few wisps, and (2) being a professional journalist, he has no self-respect. A crowd of on-lookers gathered to watch and poke fun, but as I voided roughly half the can of New Hair onto John’s head, their snickers quickly turned to sever bladder-control problems. John looked as though a professional baseball team had used his head to groom the infield. His scalp looked like my forearms, and his wisps had turn a color usually associated with traffic cones.

"John chose not to have his head sealed."

"No, Watson! That's exactly what he'd be expecting us to do!"

You wouldn't recognize him on nights of a full moon.

I don't think he looks half bad. He should keep the look. Perhaps in prison.

The fuzz is already on him.

Was it because there's a Fool Moon???

According to cops, the middle-aged thief has boosted the popular hair loss treatment in repeated thefts at pharmacies

He's no minoxidil-ettante.

He escaped by a hair, but the cops said it was a close shave.

Burma Shave?

♫ I'm just wild about hairy
And hairy's wild about me!

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