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December 16, 2015

IF THAT HAD BEEN MIAMI, HE'D BE A ROAD SMEAR

Houston man charged for proposing to girlfriend on highway, halting traffic in viral video

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

Accused Sex Toy Thief Told Cops He Was "Too Embarrassed" To Actually Pay For The Items

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

IF THAT DOESN'T WORK, THEY'LL HAVE 'TEAM-BUILDING' EXERCISES

South Korean workers shut inside coffins to make them ‘appreciate life’

(Thanks to Fabian Marson)

HOW MIAMI DOES OUTDOOR CHRISTMAS LIGHTS

Miami Christmas lights (1)

WE HAVE AT LEAST ONE CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT LEFT

No, It Is Not A Crime For A 57-Year-Old Guy To Carry A Rifle While Only Wearing Light Blue Thong Underwear

(Thanks to Gary Schroeder)

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

Customers disturbed by Starbucks' cookies

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

Two New Jersey men attack inflatable Santa

(Thanks to Gary Schroeder)

December 15, 2015

PUTIN TO BE SHOT IN THIGH

Kiefer Sutherland to Play President in ABC Drama Series 'Designated Survivor'

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

THANAKORN SIRIPAIBOON MOCKS TONGDAENG

Thailand's junta arrests man for insulting king's dog

(Thanks to Fabian Marson and funny man)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

A Vero Beach man allegedly high on flakka is accused of ramming his car into the Indian River County Jail and scaling a fence in an attempt to break-in and visit his friends, according to deputies.

(Thanks to Colleen)

A 12-year-old Florida boy who has been arrested more than 20 times was caught on video stealing a car from an 89-year-old man, authorities say.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Man who rode his bike across town 'wearing a chastity belt while dressed as a French maid so he could be dominated by a call girl' is arrested along with 94 others in massive prostitution sting

(Thanks to John Mayson and Stan Ruth)

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

A cop's wife was caught on camera stealing Christmas presents meant for a two-year-old girl, according to authorities.

Guess the state.

(Thanks to The Fourth George)

Cops: Salvation Army Volunteer Exposed Himself

(Thanks to Madeleine)

THE INTERNET IS NOT YOUR FRIEND, EXAMPLE 2,013

Woman regrets asking internet to Photoshop romantic holiday snap of her and her beau

(Thanks to funny man)

AWKWARD

Wife finds female burglar in husband's PJs, deputies say

(Thanks to Harry Nom de Plume)

ALL WE KNOW FOR SURE IS THAT IT HAS A VALID FLORIDA LICENSE

Is this the oldest creature on Earth? Footage of 200-year-old monster amphibian found in cave

(Thanks to DaninDallas, who says "Hefner in a cave?")

'ARE YOU SUGGESTING THAT EVERYBODY PUT A PACKAGE OF POOP ON THEIR PORCH?' 'YES.'

Man surprises package thieves with a box of poop

(Thanks to James Herron)

WHY IS THAT WISE MAN FALLING DOWN?

Drunk-Driving Suspect Crashes, Tries to Hide in Nativity Scene

(Thanks to James Herron)

FLY AWAY, LITTLE DUDES!

Pigeons keeping warm in cold weather lead police to cannabis farm

(Thanks to Ralph, who says "Stool pigeons?")

WE'RE NOT SAYING THIS. *SCIENTISTS* ARE SAYING THIS.

Lettuce is ‘three times worse than bacon' for emissions and vegetarian diets could be bad for environment

(Thanks to Madeleine)

CHECKING IN?

Man rams pickup truck through hotel lobby in Oklahoma sending staff running for their lives

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who notes that a Florida license is pending)

REMOVED POST

I took down a post that I put up earlier this morning that included a photo of the San Bernardino shooters. I had some reservations about putting it up, but decided it was OK. On second thought, I realized it wasn't. Sorry about that.

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Cops Make Very NSFW Discovery While Searching Car Trunk

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

Hedgehogs are now legal pets in Arizona

Autoplay.

(Thanks to klezmerphan)

IS OUR CITIZENS SCIENTIFIC?

North Carolina citizenry defeat pernicious Big Solar plan to suck up the Sun

(Thanks to many many people)

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

Kim Kardashian eating her placenta after son's birth

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

December 14, 2015

ELF ON THE SHELF UDATE

My little Reagan had a bad day the other day and was so afraid her elf, Manny, was going to tell on her.  This is how we took care of the situation.

 

Elf

Elves aren't known for their spelling or grammar usage.

-- nursecindy

WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?

This Tinder robot helps you find love by feeling your sweaty hands

(Thanks to Dave D)

BUT IF YOU TAKE AWAY OUR EVIL SPIRITS, WE HAVE NOTHING LEFT

Polish priest, govt supporters try to 'exorcise' newspaper

(Thanks to Harry Nom de Plume)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Petite Mort Furs turns roadkill into fashion

(Thanks to The Perts)

CLEARLY HE WAS NEVER IN THIS BLOG'S DORM ROOM

Guy invents the 'World's Worst Smell'

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

ELF ON A SHELF MEETS FROZEN

12369205_10154477032657178_59897982795375066_n

(Thanks to ligirl)

ASKING FOR A FRIEND

Can I Carry a Gun Drunk or on Drugs?

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

IDAHO NIGHTLIFE UPDATE

Idaho Potato Drop: Smaller footprint, more attractions

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Speaking of New Year's traditions: Here's the Gavle Goat Cam.

'KANSAS IS NOT AS LIBERAL AS OREGON'

Kansas authorities say an Oregon man was urged to head home after he was spotted taking pictures of a wheat field wearing nothing "but a hat and a smile."

(Thanks to Rick Day)

WE'RE NOT SAYING THIS. *SCIENCE* IS SAYING THIS.

Men have a better sense of direction than women, study says

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Monique)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Woman is wounded in stabbing at a Florida nudist resort

(Thanks to Rick Day)

Florida man hears helicopter, calls 911 to turn himself in for growing pot

(Thanks to Ryan Jentzsch)

A Deerfield Beach woman was arrested after officials say she kicked a Florida Highway Patrol officer who was attempting to remove her from the Department of Motor Vehicles building.

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

December 13, 2015

'TELEDILDONIC'

Sex, love and robots

(Thanks to Roberto, Dave D and DaninDallas)

AW

Couple interacts with ginormous pet spider.

(Thanks to A. Wheeler)

NO S**T

People who are really good at swearing have an important advantage

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

OKAYYYY

Transgender woman leaves wife and 7 kids to live as a 6-year-old girl

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

ADVISORY

New Research Says It's Time To Stop Masturbating So Much

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

NATURE

There is nothing more unnatural.

Advisory: Don't click. Just don't. Trust us.

(Thanks to Ralph)

LOOKS LEGIT TO THIS BLOG

For Your Attention

I know you will be skeptical to reply my email base on what is happening in the internet world today. One have to be very careful as scam has taken over the internet today to defraud innocent citizens, this has made it very difficult for people to believe anything that comes through the internet.

I got your contact from your Email domain hence the desire to contact you is for partner with me. If you are honest and can be  trusted, I think we can work together on this project. I am an American and you should be rest assured that I cannot be involved in scam in any way.

I am Gen.Raymond Odierno, from the U.S. Army;  Among those deployed from Iraq in the beginning of the war in 2003.I really need your help in assisting me with the safe keeping of my funds which was moved to a private Security Company from Iraq. I hope you can be trusted?

Though, I would like to hold back some information for security reasons for now until you have found time to visit the BBC website stated below to enable you have an insight of what I intend sharing with you, believing that it would be of your desired interest one-way or the other.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stm

I wait to hear from you having visited the above website to enable us discuss on a more clarifying manner to the best of your understanding. I must say that I am very uncomfortable sending this message to you without knowing truly if you would misconstrue the importance and decides to go public. In this regards, I will not hold back to say that the essence of this message is strictly for mutual benefit between you and I and nothing more.

I will be vivid and coherent in my next message. meanwhile, could you send me an email confirming that you have visited the site.
Best Regards
Gen.Ray.
 
 (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "This sounds vivid and coherent to me.")

DO NOT MISS THE VIDEO

N Korean pop band Moranbong ends China goodwill tour

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

THERE WAS A PERIMETER

Lulu's Inn evacuated after mic stand mistaken for gun

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Harry Nom de Plume and Ranald Adams)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

The U.S. Federal Aviation Administration said it fears up to one million unmanned aerial vehicles, commonly known as drones, could make their way under Christmas trees this season, according to Aviation Daily.

(Thanks to The Perts)

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

6-Foot Penis-Shaped Christmas Light Display Angers Williamsburg Neighbors

(Thanks to Madeleine)

December 12, 2015

CANADIAN TRAFFIC REPORT

Large herd of buffalo running loose near Tisdale, Sask.

This has been the Canadian Traffic Report.

(Thanks to The Perts)

In other traffic news:

18-wheeler crash leaves 100 cows on Mississippi interstate

Minnesota police share photo of potato truck spill on I-94

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO CONTINUE DIRECTING AIR TRAFFIC

Air traffic controller to cops: I smoke meth to stay awake

(Thanks to Madeleine)

CSI: INDIAN HILL

Indian Hill loses baby Jesus

(Thanks to Tim)

FLATHEAD COUNTY: LAND OF THE FREE

A Columbia Falls woman complained that her neighbor shoots squirrels and his dog eats them. She was advised that this was not an illegal activity.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

SEND THESE MEN TO WASHINGTON

The Ukrainian parliament takes action.

(Thanks to James Schapiro)

 
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