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December 31, 2015

ENJOY YOUR EVENING

But watch out for falling mushrooms.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

And remember: If you must drink tonight, drink something blue.

Blue drink

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Let's keep the celebratory gunfire to a minimum.

(If The Blog already posted this, uh-oh)

AND THEY CRASHED ON EARTH WHILE TEXTING

Bizarre discovery of an '800-year-old' mobile phone could be evidence of an advanced civilisation or time travel 

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

In related news, this happened in Floriduh.

(Thanks to Al B., Madeleine, and Bruce F.)

IT'S A MITZVAH, DUDE

Kosher cannabis.

(Thanks to Sharon C.)

WE ARE DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO POST THIS ITEM

Because once you've seen it, you can't un-know it.

(Thanks a big freaking bunch to Jon Harris)

December 30, 2015

YEAH, RIGHT, LIKE THIS WILL EVER HAPPEN

Leave NYE fireworks to women.

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

A SPECIAL TYPE OF YEAR IN REVIEW

It's time to plumb the depths of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits. We’re looking for the weirdest, least explicable, and most awkward objects that America has shoved inside its various holes. God bless us, everyone. 

(Tnanks to Jodi)

HO HO HO

‘Overwhelmed’ mailman accused of throwing away Christmas gifts 

(Thanks to Madeleine)

DUE TO OUR STRICT POLICY, ETC.

Colon Messer

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

December 29, 2015

HOOTERS FOR JUSTICE!

Bihar Chief Minister Nitish Kumar today proposed banning hooters in vehicles barring those of the Governor, Patna High Court Chief Justice, fire engines and ambulances to check increasing sound pollution. 

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

WE BLAME YOU

Cow dung patties did not make this year's Gift Guide.

(Thanks to Harry Nom de Plume)

December 28, 2015

MAKE IT NOT SO?

Pistol Pulled During Penis Pump Beef

(Thanks to DaninDallas, and to anyone who can explain what Picard has to do with this story)

SPEAKING OF JURASSIC LAWNS

The s.b. was walking around a park at lunch today... (later, the big orange one and a different grey one... well, let's just say trigger warning or spoiler alert or something and leave it at that...)IMG_6210


GUESS JUST GO AHEAD AND NAME THE STATE

There is such a thing as having too much joy.

(Thanks to everyone)

NOTE ON PREVIOUS POST

The boat is sideways because the seas are high.

SOMEBODY HAS TO DO IT


IMG_5760.JPG

December 27, 2015

JURASSIC LAWN


20151227_102248.jpg

December 26, 2015

VACATION ADVISORY

We're outta here for a week or so, though we may post sporadically, and we have no control over what judi does. We're going to take some time off, recharge our batteries, and see if we can stop referring to ourselves in the plural. You guys have a happy new year.

December 24, 2015

TO ALL YOU CRAZY (IN A GOOD WAY) BLOG PEOPLE:

Have Joy

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

The FBI says a 28-year-old man faces federal and state charges after he robbed a credit union in Bend, then went on a shopping spree that included buying a Christmas tree he later used to try and hide from police.

(Thanks to Judy B.)

Note from the Grammar Police: Make that "try to hide."

IT'S GOOD FOR SENIORS TO HAVE A HOBBY

Indiana Woman, 69, Stockpiled Her Urine So She Could Dump It On Neighbor's Home

(Thanks to Dave D)

TWO WORDS YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE TOGETHER

Mass circumcision.

(Thanks to  Jeff Meyerson, who says he saw them open for Ozzy at Painfest '06)

WHAT EVERY WOMAN SECRETLY WANTS

Woman in Siberia rewarded with truck full of coal for slimming down

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Monkey steals a bus and crashes it into two parked vehicles while the driver takes a nap in India

(Thanks to Ralph, Gary Schroeder, Al Barkafski, DaninDallas, Kevin Smith, Madeleine, John Gregg and Steve Thompson)

Related Item: Teen hockey game canceled after Zamboni driver destroys rink

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

SEND THESE CHICKENS TO WASHINGTON

‘Frustrated’ Creswell man releases flock of chickens in Eugene tax office

(Thanks to Ralph, Kevin Smith, Todd Lawson and Madeleine)

December 23, 2015

2015

At least it's over.

HEH HEH HEH

Ballard woman busted with bra gun

(Thanks to B'game)

WE HOPE THEY'RE GETTING HARDSHIP PAY

American embassy staff try traditional Norwegian holiday dishes.

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

THE TSA COMES THROUGH AGAIN

Coyote Stopped At Airport Security Checkpoint

(Thanks to Fabian Marson, who says it left its Florida license at home.)

DINING OUT IN FLORIDA

Couple showed up at closed restaurant at 4:30 am with gun, knife, drugs

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

IN THAT CASE, MOM, HE IS FREE TO GO

Mom: Meth lab suspect's equipment was for making wine

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

THE ISSUE WAS BEER

Woman Busted For Biting Off Husband’s Ear

(Thanks to Another Ralph, Rick Day< Janice Gelb and Al Barkafski)

'FIRE AND ICE'

Florida jewelry store giving away free shotgun with purchase

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

December 22, 2015

HE HAD NO CHOICE

A Montana man is charged with threatening to shoot a boy for sharing information about a subplot of the new "Star Wars" movie during an online conversation.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

Saudi authorities close down shop selling traditional camel urine drinks… after discovering the owner had been filling the bottles with his own bodily waste

(Thanks to Michael Moyer)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

A 55-year-old woman was arrested after investigators say she got in a physical confrontation with her husband for passing gas, an affidavit states.

(Thanks to John Mayson, Andrew Mendez and Michael Huber)

IT'S TOUGH OUT THERE FOR A GUY

Elaborate Proposal Turns Into Trainwreck When Woman Deems Diamond Too Small

(Thanks to Rob Simbeck)

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

A man in a Santa suit broke into a Leroy Street apartment on the same day as SantaCon, threatened to kill a resident and then fled without stealing anything, police said.

(Thanks to Madeleine)

THAT STUFF CAN BE DEADLY

Suspected gas leak is cooked sauerkraut

(Thanks to Ralph)

FLORIDA COLLECTIVE PRACTICES UPDATE

A roofer who told his client, “Don’t be a f-----g schlub, pay your f-----g bill,” did not violate the Florida Consumer Collection Practices Act, a Miami-Dade circuit appellate panel decided.

(Thanks to PirateBoy)

SEND THEM TO WASHINGTON

Intelligence genes discovered by scientists

(Thanks to coscolo)

THIS IS WHY WE NEED THE DEATH PENALTY

Austrian DJ barricades himself in his studio and plays Wham's Last Christmas 24 times in a row

(Thanks to funny man and DaninDallas)

HE WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID 2037 FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

'Time traveler' crashes car into Pensacola business

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

December 21, 2015

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

A man dressed as Santa Claus had to be rescued from the top of Glasgow's Duke of Wellington statue by a cherry picker earlier today.

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

ON DASHER

Runaway reindeer causes mayhem down the high street after it was startled by a car horn and escaped from a Christmas event

(Thanks to Madeleine and Roberto)

HE ALREADY HAS A FLORIDA BOATING LICENSE

Port Charlotte man resists arrest, defecates off side of boat

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

'LOSERS WITH WOMEN'

Angry single men stage anti-Christmas rally in Tokyo

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN

Teeth of Americans not better than the English, study suggests

(Thanks to The Perts)

WOMEN IN ACTION

Granny locked in public restroom spends four days knitting scarf

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

 
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