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November 30, 2015

YES

A taste of the World Champion Squirrel Cook-Off

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Woozy Barnes)

IF YOU REALLY LOVE DAD....

Bugatti Chiron Promises to be the World’s Fastest, Most Powerful Car

And it's under three million dollars.

(Thanks to John Gregg)

BOLO

Men in panda onesies carry out armed robbery in Lincolnshire

(Thanks to Alkali Bill)

CELEBRITY REPORT

Bindi Irwin denies passing wind live on Dancing With The Stars

This has been the Celebrity Report.

(Thanks to Ralph)

WATCH THE VIDEO. YOU PAID FOR IT.

Firefighters cook a turkey wrong, set it on fire at Marine Corps station

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

WE ALMOST FORGOT THE ONGOING HORROR THAT IS FLATHEAD COUNTY

A Bench Drive resident reported that one medium sized, reddish dog was standing outside on his steps.

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Fishermen rescue wombat hundreds of metres offshore in Tasmanian lake

(Thanks to Ralph)

FLORIDA DEMANDS A RECOUNT

Worst Drivers By State

(Thanks to WYSIWYG)

November 29, 2015

NO JURY WILL CONVICT HIM

Man Attacks Roommate for Taking Too Long in Bathroom in NJ

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Madeleine)

'CHRISTMASTURD'

Reese's tries -- and fails -- to make tree-shaped peanut butter cups

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

HEY, HE NEEDS IT

Brazilian police hunt Santa Claus who stole Sao Paulo helicopter

(Thanks to Madeleine)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR DAVID CASSIDY

Another danger of climate change: Giant flying boulders?

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

GET THAT ACADEMY AWARD READY

Watch the trailer for 'Handjob Cabin' – about a ghost that MASTURBATES you to death

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

November 28, 2015

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Presenting the 2015 NYC Taxi Drivers Calendar.

(Thanks to Nick and Madeleine)

THIS WAS INEVITABLE

Bacon-scented underpants.

(Thanks to Ralph)

MEANWHILE ABROAD

Spanish feminists offend Catholics with giant plastic vagina protest

(Thanks to Ralph)

GET THAT NOBEL PRIZE READY

Physicists Create "Urine Black Holes" To Solve the Splashback Problem

(Thanks to Rick Day)

GUYS IN ACTION

Customer at German sex shop which was burning to the ground around him had to be rescued by firefighters because he refused to leave until he reached the climax of Throbbin Hood

(Thanks to Madeleine)

November 27, 2015

EW

Just ew.

(Thanks to many many people)

NOT UNLIKE THANKSGIVING

Scientists capture black hole eating a star and then vomiting it back out

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

MAYBE, BUT WE STILL HAVE HAMMERS

Robots are learning to DISOBEY humans

(Thanks to John Gregg)

'COME ON MATE, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER?'

Spider causes man to trash flat, scream death threats -- police called

(Thanks to Rick Day, Another Ralph, James in NC and manual tomato)

ASSUMING YOU PLAN TO HAVE THANKSGIVING LEFTOVERS TODAY

...you probably should not click here.

(Thanks to Colleen Clark and Unholy Slacker, who says "I'm guessing he's single.")

'POOR WU CHEN'

Paranoid Pensioner Buries Life Savings Underground; Cash Gets Eaten By Worms

(Thanks to Rob Simbeck)

November 26, 2015

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, YOU GUYS

But remember: This is not a day to waste reading this blog. This is a day for spending quality time with your family.

November 25, 2015

NOT TO REINFORCE ANY STEREOTYPES, BUT:

Hawaii's Big Island Is Overrun With Loud Frogs From Puerto Rico

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who saw Loud Frogs open for Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs)

CSI: IDAHO

Former Elk Ranch Employee Charged with Selling Elk Semen, Keeping Profits

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN WITH WATER BALLOONS

West Point bans cadet pillow fight after 30 injured

(Thanks to Harry Nom de Plume)

TIME FOR A FEDERAL BAN

Woman fined $1,000 for trashing worker's office with glitter

(Thanks to coscolo)

Glitter Beards Are Now a Thing and They Must Be Stopped

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Man arrested for beating his lover with a plate because he ‘only ever listens to Alanis Morissette’

(Thanks to John Mayson)

THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN

Phuc Dat Bich a 'HOAX'!

(Thanks to Ralph)

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

Christmas elves attacked during lighting ceremony in London

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

Town's Christmas lights are branded 'pants' - because they look like a string of UNDIES

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

Nativity scene sculpted from Cheddar cheese could have the Pilgrims flocking

(Thanks to Ralph)

Surprising number of people stealing baby Jesus from nativity scene

(Thanks to B'game)

MEANWHILE IN CANADA

Alberta's nipple exposure laws received some tweaking Monday.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Party to celebrate end of probation in N. Ft. Myers ends in arrest

(Thanks to funny man and Allen at Division)

CSI: SPOKANE, 1915

Turkeys found to be inflated with bicycle pumps

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

November 24, 2015

STAND TALL, ARKANSAS

The States Where You’re Most Likely to Encounter Fights at Black Friday Sales

(Thanks to funny man)

BRILLIANT

Woman allegedly dials 911 to lure police away from her location so she can drive home drunk

(Thanks to funny man)

FLORIDA: EVEN SCARIER THAN YOU THOUGHT

Mahjong 'scandal' in Altamonte Springs

(Thanks to Richard Samuel)

IMPORTANT ADVISORY FOR MOTORISTS PLANNING TO DRIVE IN CHINA:

Giant Teddy Bear Not Allowed Atop Lamborghini Gallardo

(Thanks to Joe Green)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Police in Florida said the Force was not with a Darth Vader wannabe who was pelted with a jar of salad dressing during an alleged robbery attempt.

(Thanks to Kevin Smith, Jon Harris and Gary Schroeder)

TOTALLY JUSTIFIED

South Carolina stripper attacks man after he tells her to lose weight

(Thanks to funny man)

APOCALYPSE UPDATE II

Kickstarter campaign raises $200,000 for cat music

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

JUST STOP

Move Over Turducken, PIECAKEN Is The Dish To Beat This Thanksgiving

(Thanks to The Amazing Steve)

CANADA: NATION OF HEROES

'Doo Doo the Clown' saves women from violent attacker

(Thanks to Bob Brogan and Kevin Smith)

YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF... OOPS

Russian sailor crashed 7,000-ton ship into Scotland shore after downing rum

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "He was released after producing a Florida pilot's license.")

CONSUMER OF THE WEEK SO FAR

'I Just Want an iPhone' Yells Man Wielding Sword in Apple Store

(Thanks to Madeleine)

STEER CLEAR OF BEAVERS

Russian Driver Replaces Car Tire With Log

Tire-car-russia

(Thanks to Ralph)

AS IF YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT

Earth might have hairy dark matter

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Valet parking available at California Taco Bell

(Thanks to Ralph)

November 23, 2015

YOU DON'T SEE THESE EVERY DAY

Mid Evil Cannon book ends

(Thanks to B'game, who says "I'd hate to see the full evil bookends.")

 
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