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September 30, 2015

CROWDSOURCE REQUEST FOR A BOOK I'M WRITING

What is THE most Florida place in Florida?

Just watch:

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

'MILLIONS ARE ESTIMATED TO HAVE ESCAPED'

Semi Hauling Honey Bees Rolls On SB I-35 In Garvin County

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

SEND THEM TO WASHINGTON

Canada farmers, upset over trade talks, take cows to Parliament

(Thanks to Ron G.)

IF THAT DOESN'T SOLVE THE STUDENT-DEBT CRISIS, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL

Maine author dresses like mushroom, attempts 40-mile walk to protest student loans

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

TAKE THAT, PICASSO

Woman paints picture of Vladimir Putin with her breasts

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

TOTALLY JUSTIFIED

Girl strips naked in shopping centre 'after boyfriend refuses to buy her iPhone 6s'

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

IT'S STILL BETTER THAN A MAN BUN

Woman ends up in hospital after 'confusing builder’s foam with her hair mousse'

2CE62B6300000578-3253557-image-a-47_1443536863482

(Thanks to The Amazing Steve, Bob Brogan and Loudmouth)

GET THAT NOBEL PRIZE READY

Belgian scientists look for biofuel clues in panda poo

(Thanks to Gary Schroeder)

UPDATE FROM CANADA, A NATION OUT OF CONTROL

Goat 'arrested' at Tim Hortons was possibly kidnapped

(Thanks to The Perts)

WOOF, DUDE

$10K worth of marijuana falls from the sky, crushes doghouse in Arizona

(Thanks to The Perts)

AS RECOMMENDED BY THE AMERICAN PLUMBING ASSOCIATION

Family smashes toilet after snake refuses to vacate premises

(Thanks to Steve Thompson and Ralph)

September 29, 2015

AS CLASSY AS EVER

Former Toronto Mayor Rob Ford tweeted an invitation encouraging anyone with a spare $80 to join him and brother Doug Ford for a bachelor party.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

A FLORIDA LICENSE IS ON THE WAY

Owner puts dog into idle truck, dog sends it into lake

(Thanks to Bill Melater)

MEANWHILE IN SPORTS

Amateur MMA fighter says big breasts are making life hard for her in the ring

(Thanks to funny man)

TERRORISM UPDATE

Elk rams car door with family inside

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Chris Johnson)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

The world's largest collection of fossilized poop will be unveiled Saturday at the South Florida Museum for National Fossil Day.

(Thanks to Fred Phillips)

GOOD CALL

Referee Takes Gun Onto Soccer Field After Spat With Players In Brazil

(Thanks to Gargoyle Socks)

TALES FROM THE HELP DESK

City Worker Fined for Talking in Robot Voice Does it Again

(Thanks to Madeleine)

CSI: CANYONVILLE

Caller reported seeing about 50 buzzards flying overhead in the 700 block of Northwest Frontage Road, Canyonville. Caller said it felt suspicious since it isn’t mating season.

(Thanks to West Coast Rod)

AW

Loose emu recognizes owner, returns home in back of a Prius

(Thanks to funny man)

THE BLOG

It's acting weird today. We have no idea why. We have no idea whatsoever how the Internet works. All we can do at this point is remain calm and hope for the best. And of course fire judi.

DINING OUT IN CANADA

Stubborn goat refuses to leave Sask. Tim Hortons

(Thanks to The Perts, Gary Schroeder and Ralph)

GUYS IN ACTION, THE SEQUEL

Drunk Madison man believed he had been assaulted by a hippopotamus

(Thanks to Ralph)

GUYS IN ACTION

WA man shoots self in scrotum while fighting off meth hallucinations of ‘Mexicans in trees’

(Thanks to Rick Day)

September 28, 2015

AND IT IS, IN A WAY

Passenger who tried to open plane door at 30,000ft 'thought it was a toilet'

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins and Gary Schroeder)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

911 caller: Monkey's eating mail out of neighbor's mailbox

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

THEY THOUGHT HE WAS HAPPY TO SEE THEM

Oblivious assistants let a shoplifter walk out of a store with a massive drill shoved down his trousers.

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

FOR THIS BLOG, IT ALWAYS IS

Today is  Drink Beer Day.

(Thanks to The Amazing Steve)

PAGING KEVIN BACON

N.S. school board bans dancing

(Thanks to The Perts)

ACTUALLY, NO

This Psychic Will Predict Your Future by Touching Your Butt

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THERE IS NOTHING MORE UNNATURAL THAN NATURE

Bat Bugs Evolved Fake Genitals to Avoid Sex Injuries

(Thanks to funny man)

CSI: GLOUCESTERSHIRE

Escaped wallaby gives police the hop in Dursley

(Thanks to Barbara A.)

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

Guy calls deaf service 4,000 times — to masturbate

(Thanks to Madeleine)

WHICH HE CONCEALED IN HIS PANTS

Florida man charged with stealing 4 million pounds of citrus

(Thanks to Ron G.)

STILL MORE SNAKE NEWS

Police officer stops python attack with butter knife

Always carry one.*

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Ron G.)

*A python, we mean.

MOST INSCRUTABLE EMAIL OF THE DAY SO FAR

Hi Dave,  Billy here, your interactive visualization specialist at Graphiq.

My what?

TOO BAD THE DOLPHINS DIDN'T THINK OF THIS

Steelers vs. Rams Delayed After Field Catches Fire During Pregame Pyrotechnics

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

IN OTHER SNAKE NEWS

Another Deadly Snake Species Discovered In Australia

"The Kimberly Death Adder." Whoa.

(Thanks to Rob Simbeck, who says "Because you can never have too many.")

SOUTH FLORIDA

Our flea markets are not like your flea markets.

September 27, 2015

THE SUSPECT WAS ADVISED OF HIS RIGHTS, THEN EXECUTED

Police Make Arrest in Alleged Doughnut Scam

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Florida police arrest woman sought for allegedly riding sea turtles

(Thanks to EricY and Jeff Schneider)

ALABAMA DINING ADVISORY

DeKalb EMA: Please don’t eat cheese from overturned truck on Highway 11

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

CANADA: A NATION GRIPPED BY TERROR

Dreams squashed when massive zucchini vanishes from Canada's largest urban farm

(Thanks to Roberto)

IT'S A MIRACLE, DUDE

Marijuana bundle drops from sky, slams into family's carport

(Thanks to Chris Johnson)

MEANWHILE IN THE NATION'S CULTURAL MECCA

Naked hookers in boxing match after dispute over $80

(Thanks to funny man)

CRIMINAL MASTERMIND OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Man caught urinating on Brooklyn street shoots himself in the groin while trying to ditch gun: police

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

AS RECOMMENDED BY EXPERTS

Driver tries to scare off spider using lighter, sets gas station on fire

(Thanks to Bill Rudersdorf, Andrew Mendez, Jim Anderson, Chuck Cody, Rick Day, Janice Gelb, Another Ralph and DaninDallas)

September 26, 2015

ADVISORY

Gangs of ‘Powerfully Built’ Women Are Mugging Tourists on the Streets of Hong Kong

(Thanks to Judy B.)

CHEERIO, DUDE

'Cannabis forest' discovered in London

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

 
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