ACTUALLY, NO
This Psychic Will Predict Your Future by Touching Your Butt
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
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This Psychic Will Predict Your Future by Touching Your Butt
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
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I can predict what will happen if she touches mine.
Posted by: wanderer2575 | September 28, 2015 at 09:08 AM
Where is mudstuffin when you need him?
Posted by: MOTW | September 28, 2015 at 09:49 AM
Well, she did pretty much nail Kim Kardashian's butt.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | September 28, 2015 at 10:10 AM
World's worst superpower.
Posted by: FredKey | September 28, 2015 at 10:21 AM
Is it Sly Stalone mother again?
Posted by: NoName | September 28, 2015 at 11:12 AM
She just is enjoying touching these guys butts too much. Pretty funny.
Posted by: Theresa | September 28, 2015 at 11:25 AM
"You will be mocked relentlessly for letting me touch your butt."
Posted by: Heywood | September 28, 2015 at 01:01 PM
That line only works on White House interns.
Posted by: Clankie | September 28, 2015 at 01:34 PM
Touch my butt and you'll have no future.
Posted by: Alien8 | September 28, 2015 at 02:22 PM
Beware of Aliens who use that pickup line. Especially if from Draco.
Posted by: funny man | September 28, 2015 at 02:43 PM
I think she's on crack.
Posted by: Ralph | September 28, 2015 at 03:09 PM
Dear Dave:
I am Ukrainian Baba, grandma, and spiritualist. This so call fortune teller steal this practice from ancient Ukrainian ritual. I describe in my book:
"During Winter Solstice, women tell fortune in bannia (steam bath). Baba get this down to art, because is no-fail method to know what kind of New Year you going to have. She lift back of skirt and walk into bannia this way. Not even thong to intervene in experience. If bannik, bath house spirit, touch her soft and warm, is good luck. If she feel cold, prickly hand, this is bad news all the way. Time to run. She recommend this as rule of life whether you in bannia or not.
Baba have high recommendation of this method. She love her tarot card, but here there is no wiggling room for misinterpretation.
Once you learn your fortune, have steam and throw cold water on self, you going to be hungry like steppe wolf. Time to cook one my recipe..."
From Baba's Kitchen: Ukrainian Soul Food
www.ukrainiansoulfood.ca
Posted by: Baba Raisa Stone | September 28, 2015 at 03:23 PM
motw: sorry - i was preoccupied. all i was gonna say was "I predict you're about to punch a psychic". It looks like wanderer 2575 pretty much covered that.
some other ideas:
"you will soon shower, at least i hope to god you will"
"you are related to yeti"
"ew"
"i thought you were crazy, but now i can see your nuts"*
"you are cursed to write many poems about snakes... squirrels too, but mostly snakes"
*borrowed from Mike Myers
Posted by: mudstuffin in klumbus | September 28, 2015 at 03:39 PM
When the moon is in the seventh house.
And Jupiter aligns with Mars...
Your future is foretold by the position of Uranus.
Posted by: Loudmouth | September 28, 2015 at 03:49 PM
Key simile:
...rise like palm trees but fall like coconuts.
Posted by: oneblankspace | September 28, 2015 at 03:56 PM
Thank you, Baba, for clearing that up. It is also good to know that Ukrainian spiritualism and soul food go hand in hand. Or hand in something.
Posted by: nursecindyfanclub | September 28, 2015 at 09:00 PM
She said to me : I see big changes. I can feel it ...
Problem is , she was touching other part of my anatomy.
Big deal...
Posted by: aguia cabeluda | September 28, 2015 at 11:00 PM
She told myself :
Big changes are coming. I can feel it in my hand...
Problem is , she was touching other part of my anatomy.
Posted by: aguia cabeluda | September 29, 2015 at 08:55 AM
A regular NostraBUMus!
Posted by: newtonian | September 30, 2015 at 09:43 AM