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July 20, 2015

SUGGESTION OF THE DAY SO FAR

Cats

Thanks for the suggestion, Henry. But you should know that such a column probably would not be well received by the cat community.

For example, this is something I wrote about cats many years ago:

Cats are less loyal than dogs, but more independent.

(This is code. It means: "Cats are smarter than dogs, but they hate people.")

Many people love cats. From time to time, newspapers print stories about some elderly widow who died and left her entire estate, valued at $3,200,000, to her cat, Fluffkins. Cats read these stories, too, and are always plotting to get named as beneficiaries in their owners' wills. Did you ever wonder where your cat goes when it wanders off for several hours? It meets with other cats in estate-planning seminars. I just thought you should know.

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Mr. Barry as well as fellow author Calvin Trillin fail to see the magic in cats but that is the only fault of either of them.

My cats have been plotting my demise for years.

No worries. Cats have a sense of humor.

Hissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

My wife laughed when I read the blogs story and got to the part about the cat wandering off for hours meeting with other cats in estate-planning seminars. This let's me know I am ahead of our cat as far as the living trust goes.

The last time I wrote a letter at that age and left it laying around my mom thought my uncle was plotting to rob a bank!

What's sad is Henry is actually 47 years old.
I own two cats. One day my male cat, Ozzie, started weaving in and out of my legs while I was walking down some steps with a basket of laundry. I told him I hadn't put him in the will yet and he stopped. Coincidence? I think not.

Wow! Gabriel Inglesias reads your blog?

My friend had a cat named Romain and he was very freindly. He met a group of us as we (fellow Buddhists)
were visiting my friend.

Romain threw up on his owner's lap.

(A polite "time to go" would have been more appreciated.)

And here I thought my cat, Freddie, was wandering around in the air conditioner ducts when he disappeared and all this time he was plotting for my estate. Wow! is he in for a shock and surprise when I kick off. BWAHAHAHahahahaha! I'm leaving it all to his brother, Loki. They can fight over the $11.20 unclaimed by the state.

How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you.

I have had many dogs in my life but cats are indeed great animals. They all have different personalities. I have had and do have a friendly cat (Holly)who greets people and checks them out, and the other one my fluffy butt Gert is more aloof. She can take you or leave you whatever she chooses on whatever day she feels like it.They are unique creatures.

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Dave actually did write the foreword to one of the Garfield anniversary books.

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