Dave Barry's Blog

HE HAS THIS BLOG'S SUPPORT

Man shoots down drone hovering over house

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

MEANWHILE IN SPORTS

Minor league team hosts Back Hair Appreciation night

THESE KIDS TODAY

Police are searching for a man who failed to rob a sandwich shop in Rhode Island after being ignored by the teenage employees.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Brisbane restaurant partially destroyed after 24 pest bombs explode

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias, who asks "Do I want to know why they thought they needed 24 bug bombs?")

IT'S SIMPLE (burp) ECONOMICS

Study: Beer Creates Jobs

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

AN EXCELLENT SOURCE OF PROTEIN

Houston Neighborhood Says Drinking Water Filled With Worms

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

THE OMEN 4

Louisiana mom throws son a 2nd birthday party themed after his hero, a local personal injury lawyer on TV

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Poker)

SOMEBODY HAD TO DO IT

Taxidermist recreates Michigan-Michigan State football rivalry - with chipmunks

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias, who says "Do you think he could recreate the House of Representatives?" Also ubetcha, who says "Hopefully he’ll graduate to squirrels.")

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

British inventor's 'Ejector Bed' throws occupants

(Thanks to Ralph)

AND NOTHING CAN BE DONE, BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE VALID DRIVERS' LICENSES

Giant, hungry snails are eating the stucco off houses in Florida

(Thanks to West Coast Rod)

Another version: Snail as Big as a Tennis Shoe Running Amok in Florida

(Thanks to Charles Cates, who says "Snails can run?")

FRANCE ETC.

Swarms of Locusts Trigger State of Emergency in Southern Russia

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Madeleine Cody)

IT'S A START

Bud Light semi-truck crashes in Cape Coral

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, who says "Fortunately no real beer was harmed.")

NEED A KID'S T-SHIRT?

Don't buy it in Asia.

(Thanks to funny man)

THEY'RE FIGHTING BACK

Texas man shot after bullet ricochets off armadillo

This is not the first time a gunshot injury has resulted from an armadillo shooting. Earlier this year, a Georgia man accidentally shot his mother-in-law when the bullet ricocheted off of the heavily armored mammal

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

GIVE IT THE CHAIR

Man calls police to arrest his cat for eating his bacon

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

IF THAT DOESN'T WIN HER OVER, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL

Omaha man accused of setting fire to his home after wife refused sexual advances

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

IT'S GETTING SO *EVERYTHING* IS ILLEGAL

Woman arrested after downing Jell-O shots while driving bus

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

WE ARE IN

You Can Buy This Ridiculous Flamethrower If You Are an Insane Person

(Thanks to The Amazing Steve, who says "I bet it comes with a Winnebago of release forms.")

AND YET WE STILL CANNOT HAVE A NATIONAL CONVERSATION ON WHY IT IS STUPID TO REFRIGERATE MUSTARD AND KETCHUP

Former Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell has become the latest high-profile personality to weigh in on the debate over whether a hot dog qualifies as a sandwich.

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

THAT WAY HE'S OUT OF RANGE OF ANY PROJECTILE VOMIT

Priest performs exorcism from a helicopter

(Thanks to Madeleine Cody)

STAND TALL, MIAMI MARLINS

Marlins Play ''Fart Noises'' During Nationals Batting Practice

(Thanks to Jay Brandes and Ralph)

ONE BY ONE, WE ARE LOSING OUR FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS

Ohio man must spend two days in jail for petting zoo cougars

(Thanks to Another Ralph)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Farmers in France have been spreading manure in all kinds of weird places

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

CANADA CONTINUES TO SPIRAL OUT OF CONTROL

Going topless is suddenly hot again

(Thanks to The Perts)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE TROGGS

Park worker hospitalized after being overwhelmed by putrid fecal fumes from clogged toilet at Lower East Side park

(Thanks to Eric Y)

WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE FRIES

Grease overflow at McDonald's closes portion of road

(Thanks to Betsy Beckerman)

EDGAR?

Divers Find Giant Floating Blob, Have No Idea What It Is

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

'SLOWLY' IS THE BAD NEWS

A new study says that Washington, DC, is slowly sinking.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?

According to cops, a neighbor called 911 to report that Berg was walking around his backyard in the nude and had communed with a bush.

(Thanks to Al Barkafski, Ralph, Jeff Meyerson, Unholy Slacker and Chris Elzi)

KINKY

Watch These Sea Slugs Stab Each Other in the Head as They Have Sex

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Party-animal badger found drunk on Polish beach

(Thanks to Jon Harris and Ralph)

A SACRED IDAHO TRADITION

Every summer, my cousin-in-law Ron Ungerman and I make an effort to be photographed at this place of worship. This year, we were joined by Mr. Ridley Pearson.

We found the experience deeply moving. Especially Ridley.

OOPS

ATM-filling workers forget bag of $141,000 on a lawn

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

A convicted drug dealer from England refused to travel to Wales for his sentencing because he can't understand the local accent.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

UH-OH

Tiny baby squirrels found near the White House

(Thanks to wiredog)

'NAKED CREEPERS'

Philly Naked Bike Ride cuts ties with nude Rocket Cat Café promoter

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Related: Naked Man Arrested At Grocery Store Meat Counter

(Thanks to Geoff Scott and Allen at Division, who asks "What Other Counter would he stand at?")

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Huge Python Captured At Shark Valley In Everglades National Park

FIVE YEARS AGO: JUST LIKE ME

This remains one of the highlights of my life.

'THE UK IS CURRENTLY IN THE MIDST OF A GULL CRISIS

Gull running is latest extreme sport as teens with chips try to outrun vicious birds

(Thanks to Ralph)

TRAFFIC ADVISORY

Drivers unable to move after N.H. highway syrup leak

(Thanks to ubetcha and Jon Harris)

ANY OTHER COLOR BRA, HE'S FINE

Britain’s Lord Sewel quits Parliament after he was caught on tape allegedly snorting coke, wearing orange bra

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

HOW THEY GET A FOOT IN THE DOOR

Elon Musk and Stephen Hawking warn over 'killer robots'

This robot can make you an egg sandwich

(Thanks to kevismi)

IT GETS HOT OUT THERE

Neighborhood ice cream truck driver arrested wearing only underwear

(Thanks to Allen at Division, who says "Hey, Want a Rocket Pop? We All Scream...")

CSI: ANDOVER

A caller from North Main Street reported at 12:38 p.m. that there was an item on the side of the road that looked like a torso. The responding officer reported that “it was a brisket.”

(Thanks to Ralph)

HEY, YOU CAN ALWAYS GET ANOTHER CHILD

Teen drops child on the floor when trying to catch wedding bouquet

 (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "priorities.")

THEY HAD TO TAKE HIM DOWN WITH BAGPIPES

Naked, banjo-playing Washington man taken into custody after two-hour standoff with police

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

BOLO

Giant inflatable duck taken from roof of Roseburg auto center

(Thanks to West Coast Rod)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR HEART

Killer Seagulls Are Terrorizing Animals in the U.K. and Experts Fear a Baby Might Be Next

(Thanks to Steve K.)

YOU LITTER, YOU DIE

Darth Vader Adopts Stretch of Virginia Highway

Photos here.

(Thanks to wiredog)

O CANADA!

Ashley Madison says 1 in 5 Ottawans subscribed to adulterer website

(Thanks to The Perts)