« April 2015 | Main | June 2015 »

May 20, 2015

GUESS THE STATE

'Honey Boo Boo's' Mama June makes strip club appearance

(Thanks to DaninDallas and Jeffrey Brown)

HE'S GONNA NEED MORE BACON

A man caught with more than 1,000 stolen eggs in his fridge has claimed he stole them from the factory where he worked for personal consumption

(Thanks to funny man)

NO THANKS

World's longest and highest glass-bottom bridge to open in China

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

'I DON'T THINK THAT'S GATORADE'

Annoyed alligator pees all over 'Fox & Friends' set because he can

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

May 19, 2015

A MASSIVE BAKED POTATO IS EN ROUTE

Big rig carrying sour cream overturns on Ore. highway

(Thanks to Gordon Anderson)

THE LOGICAL NEXT STEP IS TO GIVE IT TO THE EELS

Scientists have figured out how to brew morphine using the same kit used to make beer at home.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

THIS WILL DEFINITELY HELP WITH THE DROUGHT

Bill allowing beer bikes advances in California Legislature

(Thanks to Horace LaBadie)

FOR OPENERS, YOU PREPARE TO RECEIVE A NOBEL PRIZE

What happens when you give eels cocaine?

(Thanks to wiredog)

SCARIEST HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR

Compiling a 'dentist’s handbook' for penis worms

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

WHICH WORKS OUT TO ABOUT 183 MILLION PHOTOS A DAY

Nikon’s Camera for Dogs Snaps a Photo When Your Dog Gets Excited

(Thanks to Ross)

LET'S GET SMALL*

Boys who smoke cannabis ‘are four inches shorter’

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

*Geezer reference

THEY WERE RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING VALID FLORIDA LICENSES

Police put two goats in back of cruiser for trespassing

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

GUYS IN ACTION

Ew.

Advisory: Seriously, ew.

(Thanks to Andrew Mendez)

THINK YOU KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE 'PARMESAN'?

Think again (click on the speaker).

(Thanks to Ralph)

YOU ARE NOW FREE TO USE YOUR FIGHTING STICKS

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — A man clad only in his underwear and toting Japanese fighting sticks was shot with a stun gun after he dashed into the main concourse of Tallahassee Regional Airport claiming he had a plane to catch.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, who says a Florida pilot's license is on the way.)

EASY RIDER

Dothan police were alerted late Sunday night to look for a woman motorcyclist clad only in underwear reportedly spotted on a busy roadway.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

CSI: NEW ZEALAND

Mystery pile of clothes leaves Christchurch community confused

(Thanks to Ralph)

We saw MPOC open for the Troggs.

THANK YOU FOR SHARING

Sandra Bullock Says 'Magic Mike XXL' Trailer Makes Her 'Ovulate'

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

May 18, 2015

THE TENSION BUILDS

The 2015 Shed of the Year competition: The finalists

(Thanks to funny man)

TURNS OUT IT'S TO KILL SPIDERS

Why do men exist? Scientific study offers an explanation

(Thanks to funny man)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

A German author has rocked the nation with new theories on how to defecate

(Thanks to funny man)

THE TREE ALSO HAS A SCHOLARSHIP

1st-Team All-Big Ten Defensive Lineman Tackles Tree to the Ground

(Thanks to Steve K)

SOMEBODY HAS TO DO IT

LEWISBURG — A Valley police department is looking for 20 or more volunteers who want to start knocking back free 10-ounce vodka mixed drinks at 9 a.m. on a weekday, watch TV, listen to music, play card games, munch on potato chips and pretzels, then come face-to-face with a state trooper or municipal officer.

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

GET THAT NOBEL PRIZE READY

Japanese firm invents bra that gives wearer uplifting messages if it detects an increase in pulse during exercise

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

ALSO, BEARS OFTEN POOPED IN THE WOODS

Frontier violence was often induced by alcohol

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

HAS TECHNOLOGY GONE TOO FAR?

Yes.

Advisory: Example of technology going too far.

(Thanks to Ross)

THERE IS HOPE FOR AMERICA

UT Student Invents A Trombone That Shoots Frickin’ Flames Out Of It

(Thanks to Suzie Q. Wacvet)

CSI: WEST YORK

Man accused of stealing lawn ornaments in West York

Lawnornamentthefts

From left: Lawn ornament, man.

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

THE MAGIC CITY

Feud over Miami homeless leads to creation of “poop map”

Poop-map-cropped

Yes, each of those piles has a valid Florida license.

(Thanks to Charles Cates, Jeff Meyerson and Ralph)

TIME FOR AN INTERNATIONAL BENEFIT CONCERT FEATURING, AT MINUMUM, BON JOVI

Billionaires Aren't Buying Enough Private Jets

(Thanks to The Perts)

SAFETY IS JOB ONE

Traffic warden attacks pedestrian with hammer because ‘she crossed road when the light was red’

(Thanks to Andrew Mendez)

OK, WE USUALLY DON'T LINK TO AWKWARD PHOTOS

...but these are pretty special.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST SHRED THE DAMN CONSTITUTION

Oregon woman arrested after using her hands at salad bar, then throwing tongs at employee and spitting in cop's face

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

FORTUNATELY, HE'S A CONTRACTOR

Man drives truck through his house on purpose

(Thanks to Ralph)

May 16, 2015

IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICER?

Traffic police in southern China found 51 passengers crammed into a minibus designed for six people, state media reported.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

OOPS

Mourners follow wrong hearse for nine miles

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Inspired by an ancient beauty secret, a group of Icelandic students are hoping to cash in on people’s love of all things organic with a bizarre shampoo made from cow urine.

RELATED: Icelandic public TV network airs 24 hours of sheep birthing

(Thanks to Ralph)

WEST VIRGINIA EDUCATION ROUNDUP

Students convince teacher to let them watch '50 Shades' as reward

This has been the West Virginia Education Roundup.

(Thanks to The Perts)

DOO-DAH, DOO-DAH

Parrot pulls out boy's loose tooth

(Thanks to ScottMGS)

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO

It's World Whisky Day.

(Thanks to J.R. Absher)

SPAM EMAIL REVELATION OF THE DAY SO FAR

I have been embarrased about my bingey size my entire life.

May 15, 2015

IMAGINE YOUR PRODUCTIVITY, DUDE

Get high every morning with marijuana K-cups

(Thanks to David Emery)

THE BUFFALO HAS RETAINED LEGAL COUNSEL

South African cyclist hits dead buffalo in city suburb

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

DRIVES AWAY WITH VALID FLORIDA LICENSE

Bear breaks into car, steals stew

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

WANT TO FEEL OLD(ER)?

Boy doesn’t know what a phone booth is

(Thanks to Ralph)

TIME FOR A BENEFIT CONCERT

Japanese porn industry hit by shortage of men

(Thanks to Alberto)

NEW YORKERS WILL FIND THIS AMUSING

Beijing police warn 'strange outfits' on subway may cause stampedes

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

FATHER'S DAY IS COMING

Now you can send someone a fart in a jar

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

CSI: NEW HAMPSHIRE

Merrimack police seek to identify mysterious goats

(Thanks to Poker)

EMAIL OF THE MORNING SO FAR

Hello Daveblog

You shouldn't wait another minute to order Max Gentleman and gain that confidence in your pants.

 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise