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April 15, 2015

WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?

Florida man high on flakka has sex with tree and calls himself Thor

(Thanks to Rob Barry)

You'd be Thor, too.

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Bet he was thor afterward

He should have been more loki

Oh, boy. Florida Man™ strikes again.

Sounds like "flakka" is the new PCP.

He'th tho thor, he can barely thit down.

A) He WAS hammered. (appropriate when you're pounding wood)

2)He got wood with wood.

Thor....thor....he was so sore he couldn't pith

Thplinterth will make you thor....

Don't you have to go out on a limb to have sex with a tree?

I think the worst
That I shall see

Is a man,
Attempting sex.
With a tree.

He tried,
Hard as he could.
But that tree?
Well,
it was wood.

And in the end,
it was all for naught.
Hole.

Still a better love story than Twilight.

I am Groot!

But is he thorry?

I know she looks rough, but her bark is worse than her bite. I know you think I'm going out on a limb here, but our love is plane to see. This is not just about laying the lumber. We're exchanging rings. We're well rooted. I carved our initials in her. I'll never leaf her. Oh, sure, her family is only pretending to be nice--with fronds like these, who needs anemones? But we're definitely tying the knot.

some guys like a little junk in the trunk

Check for bees.

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