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April 27, 2015

OBITUARY PARAGRAPH OF THE DAY SO FAR

The third from the end.

(Thanks to J.R. Absher)

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Stella would have liked that.
[smiling and staring off in the distance]

Vulgar Reference to Grandma's Death opened for Joe Walsh.

I bet she wrote it in advance.

What the hell...? GRANDMA!

Someday the family will all gather around the cesspool and have a good laugh about that.

I want to know just how big that one kid really is!

I couldn't get past this: "She was a permanent fixture at the Wyoming Valley Airport where she would always have a hug and kiss for everyone traveling through."

She hung around at the airport and kissed strangers?

STELLA!
STELLA!

Is that more or less than a buttload?

I bet the grandkids will grow to cherish that description.

I took the engineering approach and googled septic tank trucks. This revealed that a typical sewage pumper has a 2500 gallon tank. Using that volume as a 'shitload' and converting to cubic yards, she had 12.38 cubic yards of grand kids...so there, as the British say: "problem sorted".

Speaking of shitloads, the Wyoming Valley Airport is about 2 miles from the house that had the toilet paper dumped on it the other day. Gotta love my motherland of Northeastern Pennsylvania.

I saw "Sh**load of Grandchildren" at DIsney World.

I wanted my money back; very noisy, chaotic and
not very harmonius.

Does somebody need their diapers changed?

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