GRESHAM CRIME REPORT
Unfortunately, our strict policy prohibits us from presenting the Gresham Crime Report.
(Thanks to Allen at Division and Ralph)
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March 27, 2015
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"Dick, who is a registered sex offender,"
Paging Gene Weingarten...
Posted by: wiredog | March 27, 2015 at 11:14 AM
Sometimes these things just write themselves.
--Serial flasher, Michael Dick.
--Tickle Creek
--Boring Creek
--He even has the hairline to make him look like a d!ck (I can say that because I do, too)
Posted by: Gargoyle Socks | March 27, 2015 at 11:40 AM
Dick is a FLASHER?
Run, Jane, run.....
Posted by: funny man | March 27, 2015 at 11:46 AM
Like Dr. Wang the urologist and Dr. Foote the podiatrist, sometimes we're destined to certain career and life choices based solely on our surnames.
Posted by: Scott | March 27, 2015 at 12:05 PM
"... got out of his pickup truck naked and began masturbating."
I usually start with, "Can I buy you a drink?".
(mostly clothed; almost always not masturbating)
Posted by: texican | March 27, 2015 at 12:07 PM
He was said to be particularly active at 3:32 AM on the third Tuesday of every month.
Posted by: Ernie G | March 27, 2015 at 01:04 PM
Too bad he lives in Gresham, not Boring - the paper was deprived of the chance to use the truly blasé headline of BORING MAN ARRESTED FOR FLASHING.
Posted by: FleeJ | March 29, 2015 at 10:50 AM