SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE
New police squad aims to curb drug use, shoplifting, defecating
(Thanks to Craig Roberts)
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February 26, 2015
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Could we all just get along. Give them jobs.
Posted by: manual tomato | February 26, 2015 at 09:59 AM
*sigh* can't be half as funny without Frank Drebin
Posted by: ligirl | February 26, 2015 at 10:12 AM
If I can't shoplift, use drugs, and defecate on the kerb, then where can I?
Posted by: Just Some Guy | February 26, 2015 at 10:18 AM
Those rules/laws are too complicated ... it's like Real Estate ... Location, Location, Location ...
Posted by: O the Umanity | February 26, 2015 at 10:19 AM
"...shoplifting and sitting on the sidewalk..."
Is there a typo there somewhere?
Posted by: Betsy | February 26, 2015 at 11:04 AM
"Hey Tom! Where are you working these days? Still at ATF?"
"Nope. I'm at a new unit now. Bureau of DUSD. Drug Use, Shoplifting, and Defecation."
"Who'd you piss off?"
The Captain. Made a pass at his wife at the FOP bar last week."
"Sorry, dude."
Posted by: Hammond Rye | February 26, 2015 at 11:21 AM
Defecation is a gateway crime - Parents, take action now!
Posted by: Bill Hudgins | February 26, 2015 at 11:34 AM
CSI Mall of America.
Posted by: will dooley | February 26, 2015 at 11:48 AM
It is nice to see the police addressing the concerns of merchants. When I had similar problems the police told me: "if shoplifting from you on the sidewalk is a problem, then move your &*($ *&^% back into the store where it belongs and quit blocking the sidewalk before we arrest you."
Posted by: max | February 26, 2015 at 12:07 PM
Who really gives a cr$p about defecation?
Posted by: PirateBoy #2 | February 26, 2015 at 01:03 PM
The Law evenhandedly prohibits hard-working merchants and drug-besotted scuzzbos from defecating in public doorways in the daytime.
Posted by: normnuke | February 26, 2015 at 02:03 PM
I hope this is a highly paid unit because, damn, that sh!t is nasty.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | February 26, 2015 at 02:58 PM
The cops should identify a suitable street urchin to serve as an informant about the defecation. He or she would be a stool pigeon.
Posted by: Heywood | February 26, 2015 at 03:46 PM
CSI NASTY DOORWAY UNIT....
Coming to CBS this summer!!!
Posted by: funny man | February 26, 2015 at 04:25 PM
Well there would be lots of DNA evidence for these CSI shows.
Posted by: LeDud | February 26, 2015 at 05:05 PM
Hawaii 2-uh oh.
Posted by: Frank Davuco | February 26, 2015 at 05:07 PM
Double SNORK - Bill Hudgins
Posted by: newtonian | February 28, 2015 at 09:53 AM