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November 26, 2014

WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE SCIENCE, BUT APPARENTLY THEY HAVE CLONED THE PLOT

Jurassic World trailer already facing criticism from palaeontologists

(Thanks to The Perts)

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I think the plot is "We're goign to genetically engineer a newer, smarter, bigger, T Rex, because What could possibly go wrong?

If you can believe all the deus ex machina plotlines in movies (bad guy shoots the hero but his gun jams or has run out of bullets, etc.), this is nothing.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Shouldn't we at least wait until the dancing candy bars in the concession stand promo are done before we begin to take apart the science of the main feature ?

Sure, it's all fun and games until someone wrecks the ultra-cool magnetic-levitating Plexiglass sphere thingy, and well, now there ya are, basically just Kibbles 'n Bits for the 'saurs. Technology stinks. Better to just ride along in the old-school ex-Rhodesian Army 6X6 with the convenient "snack on the run" sides, so at least the giant formerly-extinct carnivores can get some exercise.

For the benefit of Jurassic newbies, I'll reveal what my 7th grade literature teacher, Miss Clulow, would have called a "crucial though artistically subtle plot device": Whenever an actor looks directly up at the camera with a shocked or otherwise dumbfounded look, it means that something has gone terribly wrong – specifically, that some hungry, bigass critter with recently reanimated ganglia is dripping saliva overhead. Masterful direction allows you to actually see the actor through the eyes of the great beast. Personally, I would have never caught that without 7th grade lit. Thanks Miss Clulow.

Beppo, why weren't you eyeing cute girls in 7th grade ? I did and look where I am, typing from work and not getting caught !

LeDeud in the seventh grade the girls are eyeing you, mate!

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