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November 29, 2014

ATTENTION PULITZER JUDGES

Christmas trees are for sale!

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

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Whenever I pass by a place where they sell Christmas trees and I see the baler, I forget what it is for a second and get all excited because I think they're going to cannon-launch an elf.

Breaking News! Details at 11.

I predict on January 1st Valentine candy will be for sale too. Remember, you heard it here first.

Hey, take it easy on the Tri-Cities! This is big news over there. They make Flathead County look like a metropolis!

In my heart of hearts, I wish that Christmas trees were only available for purchase as a part of Walmart Black Friday events.

Then again, I have a family member who put a boatload of flame retardant on the previous year's Douglas Fir, created an ornament made from a bullet and called the creation "A Cartridge in a Bare Tree"

NUMA: A few years ago, we decided that, since the garbage bins were already full, what harm could come from burning the tree? We hauled it outside, someone lit a match and then *phoom*! No more tree.

No more eyebrows, either.

I'm just glad the fireball stopped before it hit our back fence.

And what did I learn from this experience?

Torching trees is cool!

Tis the Season

Did you film it for youtube, PB?

I am going to pardon a Christmas tree again this year.

For sale? I was supposed to pay for them?

Wait, is that guy peeing on the trees?

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