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September 26, 2014

FLATHEAD COUNTY: WHERE TERROR NEVER TAKES A HOLIDAY

11:59 a.m. Someone called from Columbia Falls to report that a brown and black bunny was in their front yard.

Also:

4:06 p.m. A Kalispell woman reported that she is not on drugs, despite what her ex-boyfriend says.

(Thanks to Ross Holley)

Comments

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"So, ma'am, let me see if I understand this. You are calling 911 because you are not on drugs?"

"Correct."

"Which drugs aren't you on?"

She contacted a deputy asking for assistance in retrieving pain medication from her boyfriend who, a few months ago, shot her toes off


now she's lacked toes intolerant

*groans at ligirl*

A drunken man reported that his drunken girlfriend attacked him and lit the barbeque in the back of his truck on fire.

Probably got the idea from the Allstate Mayhem Guy.


5:06 p.m. A Solberg Drive resident claimed that the man he has a restraining order against pulled into his driveway, laid on the horn, and screamed. He also thinks that the guy shot BBs at his fence.

12:31 a.m. A Whitefish resident reported that the man he has a restraining order against drove his moped into his driveway, flashed his light, spun out, then drove off.

Any bets that these are the same two guys? When ex-poker buddies go bad...

asbos all around!

He "shot her toes off"?
Why didn't she walk out on him?
Oh, right.
Hop out on him.
Hey, we may have found our bunny.

Kudos to ligirl

It's a good thing se wasn't in Maine when this happened. The wound would have been infected and she could have died from ptomaine poisoning.

'course the deputy called for a toe truck

6:35 p.m. A drunken man reported that his drunken girlfriend attacked him and lit the barbeque in the back of his truck on fire. He suspected that she could be found hiding at the gravel pit. She later contacted a deputy asking for assistance in retrieving pain medication from her boyfriend who, a few months ago, shot her toes off.

"Ain't love grand?"

Thank God it wasn't raccoons.

ligirl is ON FIRE ! You GO ! Truly awful..lol ! When is someone arrangeing the bus tour to Flathead ?

The Kalispell man who spotted a Russian helicopter hovering above his back yard should report in more often

Drunken men, drunken girlfriends, drugs, restraining orders...It's been a long hot summer in Montana. Time for some snow and for everybody to just chill a little. They're longing for the halcyon days of yore with the stray dogs, wandering deer and disrespectful youth.

I noticed a strange fact - no exploding mail boxes this time!

THE BLACK AND BROWN BUNNY?1? NOT THE BLACK AND BROWN BUNNY!

LeDud, we are gonna commandeer the Geezer Bus for a trip to Our Favorite County. There will also be a stopoff at Our Favorite Lift Station (No. 16!).

*waits @ bus stop*

well they call us barry bloggers
on a geezer bus are we
we're a-headin' for montana
flathead county for to see !

A brown and black bunny? Run away! Run away!

What is your favorite color? Red, no blue YAAAAAAAAAA!

Flathead news is not nearly as funny as it used to be before I discovered that the driving force behind it is maury povich.

Time for a holy hand grenade...

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