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September 23, 2014


SyFy’s ‘Lavalantula’ Is A Movie About Fire-Breathing Spiders Starring The Cast Of ‘Police Academy’

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)


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Who says "there's nothing good on TV"?

Didja hear about the wicked fire-breathing tarantula of the West? They sprayed water at it and it screamed "I'm molting! Molting!"

Bring a big laundry basket to carry home all the Emmys, SyFy!

Hey, with Steve Guttenberg starring it must be a classic.

This will of course have cameos of the "stars" from Sharknado.

Makes "Plan 9 from Outer Space" look like "Citizen Kane."

And since this is SyFy, you can count on them running a trailer EVERY SINGLE FREAKING COMMERCIAL BREAK. Okay, SySy, we got it the first hundred times -- you're showing this movie. I love the original Twilight Zone but can't bear to watch the marathons on SySy because they chop huge sections from the episodes to make more time for running promos.

Not that I am bitter.

Move over "Gone with the Wind" and "Citizen Kane."

So last Friday I rescued an injured tarantula I found in the street. Her name is "Charlotte". Once she has healed, I will return her to the wilds. Life at my house is never boring...

How does one tell a "Charlotte" from a "Charly" ? Does the female eat the male in this species ? (like humans....)

They realize, I hope, that spiders breathe through the lower parts of their abdomens, which would only cause somersaults, which I would pay to see.
And adult tarantulas are easily distinguished as to sex.
Females stay near the burrow, while the males wander around the landscape asking, "Where the hairy women at?"

Apparently the males have rounded bodies, and females more egg shaped. My niece is a Reptile and Insect Whisperer, and so I got her expertise.

The cast of Airplane was busy with a film about giant farting weasels.

Thanks Steve! Now we'll have new protests - "Arise Tarantulettes and Throw Off the Patriarchy."

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