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July 26, 2014
GUYS
(Thanks to Craig Roberts and Another Ralph)
FLATHEAD COUNTY: WHERE THE CRIME WAVE NEVER BREAKS
INCREDIBLY, ALCOHOL APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN INVOLVED
Man in road rage incident run over by own truck
You will never guess the state.
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Bob Brogan)
July 25, 2014
THE BAD NEWS IS, THEY EAT PEOPLE
In Alaska, wood frogs freeze for seven months, thaw and hop away
(Thanks to Focalpoint)
FRANCE ON HIGHEST ALERT
Russians lose control of gecko sex satellite
(Thanks to Jeff from Pittsburgh and Warren Anderson)
BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN
(Thanks to Bart)
We saw Moose Spit and the Antifungals open for the Monkees.
July 24, 2014
OK, I CAN DIE NOW
In the picture below, I'm in a very nice house near Sun Valley, Idaho, holding a Gibson guitar. This guitar currently belongs to a friend of the fellow on the right, my old friend Josh Kelly, a wonderful guy and terrific musician who, out of the goodness of his heart, routinely risks his reputation by serving as drummer for the Rock Bottom Remainders.
The previous owner of the guitar was...
OK, I'll tell you after you look at the picture:
This guitar used to belong to John Lennon.
By the way, the red-white-and-blue guitar on the stand behind me used to belong to Buck Owens.
I don't know what these guitars are worth. Probably less, now that I have touched them. But still.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
WHOA
Americans like Jar Jar Binks more than Congress
(Thanks to Roberto)
NAME THAT STATE!
Thieves in undies steal cookout fixins from restaurant
(Thanks to Ralph)
GO BEYOND LAWN FLAMINGOS
IT WAS ASKING FOR IT
July 23, 2014
BEAVERS
(Thanks to Craig Roberts, Woozy Barnes and Rich Steurer)
PEOPLE WHO KNIT
Arguably, the craziest people on the internet, unless there's some unknown not-crazy thing about knitting toilet paper.
(Thanks to Cindy K., who claims to recognize "when to stop" and then offers to knit one of these for The Blog)
SPEAKING OF JESUS
A Florida driver's license is on its way heavenward.
(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, who'd better make room in the handbasket for Peter Metrinko, who sent us the following...)
OR KENNY ROGERS
ALL PART OF THEIR EVIL PLAN FOR WORLD DOMINATION
Prince Charles given toy squirrel as birthday present for George
(Thanks to ubetcha)
THERE IS NO ALERT LEVEL HIGH ENOUGH
British inventor builds giant 'fart machine' to fire at France
(Thanks to Andy the TropicHunt.com Guy, Richard, and David Emery)
July 22, 2014
AND HE IS EXCITED 'TO THE VERY CORE'
IT HAS COACH AND BUSINESS CLASS
GUYS IN ACTION
WE ARE NOT SURPRISED
Workers sickened by gas leak at Boulder burrito company
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker and Allen at Division)
WE SAW THE ACTUAL BEETLES OPEN FOR HERMAN'S HERMITS
George Harrison Memorial Tree Killed by Actual Beetles
(Thanks to Jay Brandes, Mike Ester, Jon Harris and Sharon Chapman)
CSI: WISCONSIN
Appleton bar ends 'Lingerie Night' after kidnap attempt
(Thanks to Jon Harris)
July 21, 2014
THIGH SHOOTING CANNOT BE FAR OFF
Alexander Kristoff snatches stage victory from brave Jack Bauer
(Thank to all y'all)
READING IS FUN*DAMENTAL
Learning to Play with a Lion's Testicles: Unexpected Gifts from the Animals of Africa
(Thanks to Jon Harris, who does not explain what book he was looking for when he found this)
July 20, 2014
ME AND JUSTICE BREYER
I'm attending the Sun Valley Writers Conference -- which is every bit as gruellng as it sounds -- and last night I was at a dinner with some of the other writers, including U.S. Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer. I took the opportunity to share with Justice Breyer some of my thoughts on constitutional law, and as you can see, he was intrigued.
I made one point so thought-provoking that it caused Justice Breyer to assume a pose of extreme thoughtfulness.
Don't thank me. I'm just doing my job as an American citizen and an English major.
(Photos by Scott Turow, with direction from Hector Elizondo. Really)
July 19, 2014
TOTALLY JUSTIFIED
WE NEVER TRUSTED THEM
GET THAT NOBEL PRIZE READY
Harvard students’ invention puts cake in a can
(Thanks to Janice Gelb)
MEANWHILE IN SPORTS
Cornhole champions being decided in West Virginia
(Thanks to Ralph Jones)
NATURE
Blue tits make home inside pig's head
(Thanks to Jon Harris)
July 18, 2014
ALWAYS HAVE ONE ON YOUR PERSON
Man's life saved after laptop shields crossbow arrow
(Thanks to Focalpoint)
DURING WHICH IT TRAVELED AN ESTIMATED SEVEN FEET
A pet turtle is back home in Hay River, N.W.T. after three weeks on the lam.
(Thanks to The Perts)
WE WILL NEVER AGAIN VIEW BASEBALL AS BORING
Derek Holland And The Rangers Bullpen Play Fart Bottle Roulette
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
BRILLIANT
MEANWHILE IN SPORTS
Lolo Jones Wants Her Bobsled Butt Back
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
World’s longest poo belonging to an unidentified dinosaur measures an 'eye-watering' 40 inches - and it could fetch $10,000 at auction
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker and Jan in Grimsby)
WHERE THE *HELL* IS THE UNITED NATIONS?
More than half of Vancouver bars may be hosing us with smaller pints
Those HOSERS.
(Thanks to The Perts)
OOPS
Road workers smash 1,000-year-old monument
(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias, who says "Given the phallic nature, I think the words of Steigen's mayor should be noted.")
(The mayor wants to get it up again.)
THEY CAUGHT IT, THEN THEY *RELEASED* IT
So-called testicle-eating fish found in Sarasota waters
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
KINKY
FAA Investigates New York Congressman's Drone Wedding Video
(Thanks to coscolo, who says "I didn't know people could marry drones.")
SOUNDS OMINOUS
Robots should be used more to tackle shrinking population
(Thanks to Joe in Japan)