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July 31, 2014
WE CERTAINLY HOPE SO
Was Six-Million-Year-Old Turd Auctioned for $10,000 a Faux Poo?
(Thanks to Ken Fineberg)
THEY HAVE THEIR REASONS
WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR PHISH
Dead anchovies delight sea birds, disgust Oregon beach town
(Thanks to Ron G)
THE FRIENDLY SKIES
SOMEBODY HAS TO DO IT
A man is attempting to push a Brussels sprout up Snowdon with his nose.
(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)
July 30, 2014
ONE BY ONE THEY ARE STRIPPING AWAY OUR FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS
Naked Man On Leash In W. Va. Could Face Charges
(Thanks to DaninDallas and John Mayson)
MAN'S BEST FRIEND
UNFORTUNATELY...
...our strict policy prohibits us from linking to this item.
(Thanks to Harry Farkas)
YES
Dear Mr. Barry:
In Placitas, NM, this year we have a bumper crop of lizards. On Monday, as my wife and I were returning home, a large lizard appeared on our sidewalk, raised its tail, and pooped. I had never seen this before. I thought to myself that this is a rude lizard. Later I thought that this might be a good name for a rock band: Rude Lizard. Do you agree?
Edwin Macy
YOU KNOW THE COUNTY
THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN
McDonald's Japan Just Rolled Out Tofu McNuggets
(Thanks to John Gregg)
THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS
Hundreds of grazing goats get loose in E. Boise
(Thanks to Craig Roberts)
IS OUR TV NEWS PEOPLE LEARNING?
GOOD! WE THINK.
HE SHOULD HAVE KEPT IT OUT OF SIGHT
MAX REGER’S ORGAN IS STRUCK BY LIGHTNING
(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)
BE ADVISED, LADIES
Turkey Deputy PM Says Women Shouldn't Laugh in Public
(Thanks to Nelson from Michigan)
BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
July 29, 2014
TERRORISM UPDATE
Breast-feeding moms take over Oklahoma park
(Thanks to Bob Brogan, who says, "Key line: 'Plenty of dads came out for moral support.'")
Y'ALL ARE KIDDING, RIGHT?
Oak Ridge cancels class to reduce Southern accents
(Thanks to Rick Day)
EW
HE WAS RELEASED AFTER THE BUSHES PRODUCED VALID FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES
OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A LOVELY AFFAIR
300 in brawl at New Jersey wedding
(Thanks to funny man)
FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT
Germany performed the most penis enlargements in the world last year
(Thanks to funny man)
APPETIZING
Restaurant hires girls to walk crabs
(Thanks to Ralph)
THIS CALLS FOR A WEEK OF INTERNATIONAL DRUNKEN CELEBRATION
George Michael hints at a Wham! reunion with bandmate Andrew Ridgeley
(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby, who says "The line forms behind me.")
WHAT THE *HELL* IS GOING ON UP THERE?
Canada: Bird-plucking woman clears train carriage
(Thanks to Howard from Broward and The Perts)
OZ
IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO GO
Guess the state.
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
GET THAT NOBEL PRIZE READY
This Bluetooth-Enabled Vibrator Might Bring Us Closer to Computer-Engineered Orgasms
(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IF YOU'RE ON TV AND YOUR PHONE RINGS
(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby, who says, "If this call was from his significant other...")
ELSEWHERE IN CANADA
Beaver 'still at large' after felling large tree that collapsed on car
On orders from the squirrels, of course.
(Thanks to The Perts)
WE DONT CARE WHAT THE DAMN CONSTITUTION SAYS: THIS MAN NEEDS TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT
(Thanks to Janice Gelb and Jeff Meyerson)
A PROBLEM WITH 'HEIGHT DIFFERENCE'
Freddie Prinze Jr.: 'Unprofessional' Kiefer Sutherland Almost Made Me Quit Acting
(Thanks to Allen at Division and Richard Klinzman, who says, "Incredibly, this did not warrant a bullet in the thigh.")
July 28, 2014
'TO THE MUTUAL SATISFACTION OF ALL PARTIES'
Chubby Checker, HP settle lawsuit over penis-measuring app
(Thanks to Janice Gelb)
FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT
Liverpool giants: Thousands visit 'farting' Grandmother
(Thanks to Janice Gelb)
A JUNIOR FLORIDA LICENSE IS ON THE WAY
IT LOOKS... SCROTAL
Finally, a chair that replicates the look, feel, and smell of human flesh
(Thanks to James Fitzwilliam)
MEANWHILE IN THE NATION'S CULTURAL CAPITAL
Lawyer for Times Square Spider-Man who punched cop asks for 'low cash bail'
Times Square Alliance Calls For ‘Rigorous Licensing’ Of Characters
(Thanks to Jay Brandes, Jeff Meyerson and Focalpoint)
ALL HUMANITY HEAVES A SIGH OF RELIEF
Russia Regains Control of Gecko Zero-G Sex Satellite
(Thanks to Nelson from Michigan)
YOU KNOW THE SQUIRRELS ARE BEHIND THIS
Weaponized rabbit poo powers this doomsday flamethrower
(Thanks to Ralph)
We saw them open for the Troggs.
July 27, 2014
MIAMI
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
Husband e-mails wife 'no sex' spreadsheet
(Thanks to Jon Harris)
NO DOUBT
The most anatomically correct 'vagina pants' you're ever likely to see
(Thanks to ASK, who says, "No, it was not a search result.")
FRANCE ETC.
(Thanks to PirateBoy)
ENTICINGLY NAMED JAPANESE BEVERAGE OF THE WEEK SO FAR
WE GOT OUT JUST IN TIME
July 26, 2014
FIRST WOLVES, AND NOW THIS
SEND HIM TO WASHINGTON
Gas station clerk with MMA training surprises thieves
(Thanks to Steve Kennedy)