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June 23, 2014

24

Here is where we stand;

President William Devane is dead. At least we think he is. Evil Terrorist Mom shot him with a missile in Wembley Stadium, which is usually fatal. But bear in mind that back in Season 5, he drove a car off a cliff, and that wasn’t fatal. Also, characters on 24 tend to have remarkable healing properties, although it seems unlikely that this will happen to President Devane, who is now apparently in several million tiny pieces.

Or is he? There are rumors on the Internet that his death was faked somehow -- that maybe he was actually a hologram, possibly created at the last second by Chloe, or that Chloe manipulated the drone camera. And if we can’t believe Internet rumors, what CAN we believe?

In any event, Jack Bauer wants PAYBACK, baby. No more Mister Only Mildly Psychotic Guy. We are very excited about this.

Meanwhile in the mole plot, that guy whom Navarro sent out to get killed might not actually be dead. This is probably very important but we have no idea why.

Agent Kate Morgan continues to be a vital plot element.

Edgar is still dead.

We will be posting updates here as events warrant. Stay tuned in the comments afterward, when the Amazing Steve will make everything clear.

UPDATE: OK, at the moment our cable is not working. We are not going to name our cable provider, which rhymes with Fomcast. All we will say is that WE CURRENTLY HAVE NO CABLE SERVICE FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE THE 337TH TIME, although to be fair it is probably only the 334th. But in any event, if we don't get our service back, obviously we will not be joining you live tonight. This may mean that, rather than forego our commentary, FOX will simply not broadcast tonight's episode. We sincerely apologize. Your call is important to us.

UPDATE: OK, we definitely do not have cable tonight. So we will just do what people did in the olden days, when they did not even have TV: We will slit our wrists.

UPDATE: So I gather from the comments that President Devane is not dead. Good! Except now there will be more Audrey.

UPDATE: So I gather from the comments (SIGFTC) that there was a perimeter. Perimeter! Actually, this is not a bad way to watch the show.

UPDATE: SIGFTC that Jack just threw somebody out a window and I MISSED IT.

UPDATE: SIGFTC (thanks, Jeff Meyerson) that Jack threw Margo AND Ian from the window. So I assume they're dead, but who the hell knows?

UPDATE: SIGFTC that nobody gets the Sprint ads. 

UPDATE: SIGFTC that not a lot of actual stuff is happening.

UPDATE: SIGFTC that Chloe kissed whatshisname and ew.

UPDATE: So I finally watched this episode. Whoa. Excellent Jack action.

 

Comments

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Hey, who says he can't mix booze and .. uh, what was it? Oh hey, let's have a drink!

Keep me posted!

"Now, about that drink..."

I'm sensing a thigh shooting before too long.

Ooooooh! Katepossible is going to want more than Navarro's thighs!

Is Navarro going into the Special Room ;)?

Hello. My name is Kate Morgan. You setup my husband. Prepare to die.

Get 'im, Kate! Give him some payback Jack-style!

"Let me talk to him."

Just so we're clear--I wasn't asking. Now get me a damned sandwich.

Jack is SO NICE whe on he's courteous.

Jack trying to be courteous! Bwahahaha. Will Jack cut some fingers off during interrogation?

You don't want Jack to be courteous. But you really don't want the alternative.

Does this interrogation room have a window handy?

He does NOT have the Bauer Chest of Doom.

"Ground rules?" You mean, like when Jack has him on the ground?

Kate likes to watch.

I sense a table will meet Navarro's head soon.

Poor Kate needs a hug.

Nice lighting on Jack there.

Jack: Hey, look! We are back to the beginning except you are there and I am here! Let me use your lines and you can look stoic, like I did!

Navarro is WRONG.

Uh oh, he's being courteous again. This won't end well.

He's got a real death wish, don't he?

YAY! Finger breaking!

OHHHHH! I was SO CLOSE! His hand instead of his fingers!

"immunity's not on the table... but your hand is!"

It drives me wild when Jack is courteous!

Jack keeps Navarro posted.

I think he may have broken a record for interrogation time with Jack. Yes, yes it is! WE HAVE A NEW WORLD RECORD! Two minutes sixteen point five seconds and only a broken hand to show for it! You win, Mr. Navarro!

GROAN, Ednamode.

I'm waiting for Shawn Of The Planet Of The Apes.

Jack is a real stickler for courtesy.

I think "tick-tock" is Jack's trigger word...

Bet he doesn't have a "safe word" 8-)

Where's Steve? Where's Dave?

Got to give Jack a hand. He always follows the ground rules.

We're on our own, guys. I say let's drink (more).

Smack him, Awwwwdrey!

Awwdrey is emoting again - gawd, will she EVER stop?!?!?!


(no, I don't expect an answer to that)

Oh, oh, Awwwdrey is going there.

"Between Jack and *me*", Awdrey - grammar, please!

Please. End. This. Awwdrey. Scene.

Please. Writers. Please.

Audrey said "between Jack and I."

That's another reason.

Who wouldn't prefer that weasel Mark to Jack?

I think Mark needs a manicure, if you know what I mean.

Wow, Awwwdrey has managed to grow a backbone and a 'tude since last episode. Amazing.

...And now dem eeeevil Russkies are putting the squeeze on Mark. Wonder whether they or Awwwdrey will end up taking him out...?

Kill Mark!!!

Boris Badenov is not pleased. Neither is his mustache.

LOL Pat F.

Chloe to the rescue!

Chloepatra is having second thoughts.

FINALLY! Somebody has to go pee!

Wait, is this actually 24?

Mark has a world of hurt heading his way. I can just feel it.

Well! I finally found everybody. What is evil mom up to? Is she still dead?

Still no real pee, beeeeper. The last time someone peed, someone jammed a screwdriver into his ear.

Kate's got something for Navarro's pain...

Hahaha, give me something for the pain that Bauers about to continue to inflict on me.

Yay, Kate!

Smash mole-man's cast to start with...

Shoot him in the thigh!

Chloe is going to cause Adrian some hurt.

Good acting, Kate and Jack!

Jack and Kate make a great "interrogation" team

Tag-team! Brilliant!

She out Bauered-Bauer!

Good cop/bad cop, Jack style!

KATEPOSSIBLE FOR THE WIN!

"And I'm going to be there to watch."

and still no pee break

...And how effed up is is when Jack is the "good" cop in the GC/BC routine?

Kate must have been switched at birth with Kim Bauer. She has Bauer in her blood!

Chloepatra better find a taser soon.

Let's all write in to Fox and ask for the Morgan-Bauer Power Hour show. Guaranteed hit.

Wes - you mean "bad cop/worse cop"?

Good catch, beeeep! Chloe may be able to use that fact later.

Why are all the people on cellphone commercials so active? Watching them exhausts me!

Dave is missing another decent episode.

Guardian of the Galaxy: Jack Bauer

Pat, you got it! Start the petition now, they couldn't lose...

So where do you think Discredited Airman ended up?

Weenie's tour as Acting CIA Chief of Station/London isn't going so hot, is it?

Pat F., He is now navigating the nucular submarine!

Perimeter! Drink again!

Ooooo, Mark just got even more pale and pasty-looking

Tate's plan is in taters...

Mark begins to worry just a tiny bit.

...Hey, did they ever let that poor scapegoated airman drone-pilot dude out of the brig? Just curious.

Russians and hackers and Bauer, oh my!

Uh oh - Jack is leading the team. What did I do?

Great minds, Wes S...

I miss Dave.

Jack Bauer, Advice Counselor

Me, too, Cindy.

Jack, you omitted...Killed while you two were doing the wild thang ;).

WHOA. The hell?

@Pat F: Whoops, cross posted.

...Still a good question, though. Of course, they totally forgot about that poor SOB in the wall from a couple of seasons back, too...

Um, that's not what he was planning on doing with the device...

OMG, it's THE CHINESE SUBPLOT AGAIN!!!

Cheng!!!!!

The Chinese have arrived!

The Chinese was to make a cheap knockoff of the override.

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