24

Here is where we stand;

President William Devane is dead. At least we think he is. Evil Terrorist Mom shot him with a missile in Wembley Stadium, which is usually fatal. But bear in mind that back in Season 5, he drove a car off a cliff, and that wasn’t fatal. Also, characters on 24 tend to have remarkable healing properties, although it seems unlikely that this will happen to President Devane, who is now apparently in several million tiny pieces.

Or is he? There are rumors on the Internet that his death was faked somehow -- that maybe he was actually a hologram, possibly created at the last second by Chloe, or that Chloe manipulated the drone camera. And if we can’t believe Internet rumors, what CAN we believe?

In any event, Jack Bauer wants PAYBACK, baby. No more Mister Only Mildly Psychotic Guy. We are very excited about this.

Meanwhile in the mole plot, that guy whom Navarro sent out to get killed might not actually be dead. This is probably very important but we have no idea why.

Agent Kate Morgan continues to be a vital plot element.

Edgar is still dead.

We will be posting updates here as events warrant. Stay tuned in the comments afterward, when the Amazing Steve will make everything clear.

UPDATE: OK, at the moment our cable is not working. We are not going to name our cable provider, which rhymes with Fomcast. All we will say is that WE CURRENTLY HAVE NO CABLE SERVICE FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE THE 337TH TIME, although to be fair it is probably only the 334th. But in any event, if we don't get our service back, obviously we will not be joining you live tonight. This may mean that, rather than forego our commentary, FOX will simply not broadcast tonight's episode. We sincerely apologize. Your call is important to us.

UPDATE: OK, we definitely do not have cable tonight. So we will just do what people did in the olden days, when they did not even have TV: We will slit our wrists.

UPDATE: So I gather from the comments that President Devane is not dead. Good! Except now there will be more Audrey.

UPDATE: So I gather from the comments (SIGFTC) that there was a perimeter. Perimeter! Actually, this is not a bad way to watch the show.

UPDATE: SIGFTC that Jack just threw somebody out a window and I MISSED IT.

UPDATE: SIGFTC (thanks, Jeff Meyerson) that Jack threw Margo AND Ian from the window. So I assume they're dead, but who the hell knows?

UPDATE: SIGFTC that nobody gets the Sprint ads. 

UPDATE: SIGFTC that not a lot of actual stuff is happening.

UPDATE: SIGFTC that Chloe kissed whatshisname and ew.

UPDATE: So I finally watched this episode. Whoa. Excellent Jack action.

 

Comments

[Brian rutherford]

We have a perimeter

[Trent]

perimeter!

[MareBear]

Is it me or is Adrian wearing lipstick?

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Perimeter! Drink! Shooting! Drink! Mayhem! Drink!

[Cheesewiz]

Bad guys can't shoot.

[danceswithvowels]

Margot has a perimeter! And hers seems to be pretty deadly!

[rockin01]

Wait a minute- terrorists can set up perimeters too? I'm SO confused!

[Jeff Meyerson]

How did Jack get from Wembly to Hackney in 5 minutes?

[Siouxie]

GO JACK!!

[Trent]

Jack's missing his Bag o' Death....uh oh!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

It'd would be really bad for Chloe's PC to have to install Windows Updates right now. Just say in'.

[homeybeef]

Jack Bauer from above

[Brian rutherford]

Where is the tactical package.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Blood! Chest shot.

[danceswithvowels]

Substation down!

[Cheesewiz]

Grenade,

[Jeff Meyerson]

Fifth floor, middle suite.

Don't we have any drones of our own?

And is the sucker still in prison?

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Dave's not here!

[Trent]

protocol!

[Jeff Meyerson]

good one, Andy

[danceswithvowels]

We have a door forcing!

[Cheesewiz]

Nice family

[MareBear]

Has the boy learned nothing? Mom doesn't like it when children misbehave.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Now Ian learns what his sister found out.

Mom is bat sh!t crazy.

[Brian rutherford]

I shot one kid. I'll shoot my othrr

[danceswithvowels]

It's not nice to disobey your mother, Ian.

[Pat F.]

I wonder how Missing Pinkie is doing?

[danceswithvowels]

They will succeed or die together for Mahmoud Manilow.

[Brian rutherford]

Jacks going spiderman

[Jeff Meyerson]

I love you like I loved Simone. Well, maybe I loved her more, just a finger's worth.

[Cheesewiz]

Where's the RAF!

[BevFromNYC]

Terror Mom has to be THE worst mother in the world!

[Trent]

Die Hard Jack! Here he goes off the side of the building...

[val1224]

I Think This Family Put The "Fun" In Dysfunctional.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

SpiderJack! SpiderJack!

[Pat F.]

Wonder how Missing Pinky is doing these days?

[danceswithvowels]

Rappelling Jack!

[Pat F.]

WHOA. Falling Ian!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Thanks, Ian, for making it easier for Jack to comein and kill you,

[Trent]

Yea!

[danceswithvowels]

Ian gets an owie.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Maraan!

[MareBear]

Peekaboo!

[homeybeef]

Shoulder = thigh?

[Siouxie]

YAY Jack!

[Trent]

Jack just killed 3 schools of fish!

[homeybeef]

Season over?

[Pat F.]

Jack hates fish.

[danceswithvowels]

Jack thigh-shot the Thames!

[Siouxie]

LOL out the window.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Darnit! There was a chance to target parliament.

[kleeeper]

OMG!!!!!

[Brian rutherford]

Now. Jacks back

[Cheesewiz]

Double splat

[danceswithvowels]

Flying! We're flying!

[rockin01]

Day-Um, Jack!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Why didn't you blow up the Houses of Parliament, Jack?

Double defenstration!

*drinks*

[homeybeef]

Ok that was the most Jack Bauer thing Jack Bauer has ever done

[tropichunt.com guy™]

She really fell for Jack.

[Ednamode]

I need a drink.

[Melanie]

OMG!

[MareBear]

If anyone asks, she tripped.

[danceswithvowels]

DD @ Jeff!

[Jeff Meyerson]

I cannot believe Dave missed that scene.

[Pat F.]

GROAN at thc.

[Siouxie]

There are 10 episodes so one more left, right?

[maryd]

Anyone ever here of defenestration? That's what we got here. Classic!

[Jesme]

Ohhhh baby! Must have reminded Jack of Nina! That, or he decided to have a shotgun Red Wedding.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Jack understood the gravity of the situation.

[Melanie]

Dave - so sorry you are missing this. Best episode yet!

[danceswithvowels]

Hey Dave! You won't believe what Jack did using this one weird trick! Twice!

[val1224]

This Jack Is So Much Better Than "Nervous Breakdown Jack" In Season 8!

[Jeff Meyerson]

OK, three hours left after this and what is there to do other than get Navarro and Mark?

[maryd]

I meant "hear". Crummy auto correct...

[danceswithvowels]

Next, it's time to defen Navarro and what's his bloke, right?

[Cynwes]

Best Jack move yet…sing with me Out the window you must go, you must go, you must go!

[Trent]

So.....President Devane gets kidnapped by the mole (Russians?), and it's up to Jack to rescue him during the remaining 3.5 hours???

[tropichunt.com guy™]

The next 2.5 hours is Jack sleeping.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Does the Vice President (whoever he or she might be) know WTF is going on tonight?

[Trent]

Oops...

[homeybeef]

Yeah just end the season now. Unless Jack is going to throw Audrey out of a window,it's not going to get any better.

[kleeeper]

molesssssss are next!

[Jeff Meyerson]

We're getting ready to head back.

Navarro is next.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Subplot!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Now for the mole section of the show...

[homeybeef]

Remember season 2? The bomb went off half way through the season and then it was 12 hours of conspiracies and moles? Yeah, lets do that again -_-

[Jeff Meyerson]

Dave, Jack threw Ian AND Margot from the same window. And they landed side by side.

[SigBauer]

'I'm sure if the circumstances were reversed u wuld have done the same thing.'

'um, no, not really'
[!!]

[Brian rutherford]

Mole hunt

[Jeff Meyerson]

Navarro is so screwed.

[danceswithvowels]

Crazy analyst Jordan had two bodies! And they're both dead!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Navarro is going to sell out his country even more.

Scumbag.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

He wants an override on the override.

[danceswithvowels]

Navarro should call Uber. They're faster and don't charge nearly that much!

[Diva]

*pants from all the heinzing*

Dang, Dave. FIVE????? That was just uncalled for. Please don't take your anger at Fomcast out on us. *sobs*

Gee. Mark doesn't look like he's too happy to see Heller.

[Trent]

Okay, I hate the Sprint ads, but like the Gordon character....

[tropichunt.com guy™]

If none of the moles on the show have moles, I'm going to be highly disappointed.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Who do we hate more - Gor-don or the stubbly pretentious Lincoln guy?

[Ednamode]

RIP Jordan. We hardly knew you.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Dave: Chloe hacked the T. Signal to make Jack think they died.