24
Here is where we stand;
President William Devane is dead. At least we think he is. Evil Terrorist Mom shot him with a missile in Wembley Stadium, which is usually fatal. But bear in mind that back in Season 5, he drove a car off a cliff, and that wasn’t fatal. Also, characters on 24 tend to have remarkable healing properties, although it seems unlikely that this will happen to President Devane, who is now apparently in several million tiny pieces.
Or is he? There are rumors on the Internet that his death was faked somehow -- that maybe he was actually a hologram, possibly created at the last second by Chloe, or that Chloe manipulated the drone camera. And if we can’t believe Internet rumors, what CAN we believe?
In any event, Jack Bauer wants PAYBACK, baby. No more Mister Only Mildly Psychotic Guy. We are very excited about this.
Meanwhile in the mole plot, that guy whom Navarro sent out to get killed might not actually be dead. This is probably very important but we have no idea why.
Agent Kate Morgan continues to be a vital plot element.
Edgar is still dead.
We will be posting updates here as events warrant. Stay tuned in the comments afterward, when the Amazing Steve will make everything clear.
UPDATE: OK, at the moment our cable is not working. We are not going to name our cable provider, which rhymes with Fomcast. All we will say is that WE CURRENTLY HAVE NO CABLE SERVICE FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE THE 337TH TIME, although to be fair it is probably only the 334th. But in any event, if we don't get our service back, obviously we will not be joining you live tonight. This may mean that, rather than forego our commentary, FOX will simply not broadcast tonight's episode. We sincerely apologize. Your call is important to us.
UPDATE: OK, we definitely do not have cable tonight. So we will just do what people did in the olden days, when they did not even have TV: We will slit our wrists.
UPDATE: So I gather from the comments that President Devane is not dead. Good! Except now there will be more Audrey.
UPDATE: So I gather from the comments (SIGFTC) that there was a perimeter. Perimeter! Actually, this is not a bad way to watch the show.
UPDATE: SIGFTC that Jack just threw somebody out a window and I MISSED IT.
UPDATE: SIGFTC (thanks, Jeff Meyerson) that Jack threw Margo AND Ian from the window. So I assume they're dead, but who the hell knows?
UPDATE: SIGFTC that nobody gets the Sprint ads.
UPDATE: SIGFTC that not a lot of actual stuff is happening.
UPDATE: SIGFTC that Chloe kissed whatshisname and ew.
UPDATE: So I finally watched this episode. Whoa. Excellent Jack action.
Aha! Bring in the Chinese! Now we have everybody!
Posted by: Gennita Low | June 30, 2014 at 09:45 PM
Chloe's eyeliner still looks amazing.
Posted by: nursecindy | June 30, 2014 at 09:45 PM
Oh goody: The return of the Chinese subplot. To go along with the Russian subplot. And Awwwdrey's torturer, to boot.
Posted by: Wes S. | June 30, 2014 at 09:45 PM
We need a couple of frogmen to complete the set.
Posted by: Pat F. | June 30, 2014 at 09:45 PM
Adrian won't be alive long.
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | June 30, 2014 at 09:45 PM
Thigh shot!!!!
Posted by: Melanie | June 30, 2014 at 09:46 PM
THIGH SHOT, AT LAST.
Posted by: Pat F. | June 30, 2014 at 09:46 PM
Finally a thigh shot! Even if it wasn't Jack shooting!
Posted by: Wes S. | June 30, 2014 at 09:46 PM
"I'm so glad to see Cheng back!" said by no one.
Posted by: Ednamode | June 30, 2014 at 09:46 PM
Thigh shot!
Posted by: emj's mom | June 30, 2014 at 09:46 PM
Yay! Adrian's thigh pays the price for Adrian's stupid head!
Posted by: danceswithvowels | June 30, 2014 at 09:46 PM
The guy that just got shot in the leg will be okay in about 15 mins.
Posted by: nursecindy | June 30, 2014 at 09:46 PM
THIGH SHOT! DRINK!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | June 30, 2014 at 09:46 PM
Thigh shooting!!!!
Posted by: maryd | June 30, 2014 at 09:46 PM
How confusing. Now we need Marwan to rise from the dead.
Posted by: Gennita Low | June 30, 2014 at 09:46 PM
So we have the Russian subplot, the Chinese subplot, the Alzheimer's subplot, a couple of mole subplots... I'm probably missing some, but my subplot index generator just overloaded.
Posted by: beeeeper | June 30, 2014 at 09:47 PM
If Zombie!Nina shows up, this is officially the Greatest Show Ever.
Posted by: Pat F. | June 30, 2014 at 09:47 PM
We just need Zombie Teri, Zombie Edgar and Zombie Dennis Hopper to complete the set.
Posted by: Wes S. | June 30, 2014 at 09:48 PM
And Zombie Tony with some Carrrrrrne Asada? Need some lasagna, too.
Posted by: danceswithvowels | June 30, 2014 at 09:48 PM
I want to see an ep of So You Think You Can Dance where Jack threatens to shoot the poorest performers in their thighs...
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | June 30, 2014 at 09:49 PM
And no cougars!
Posted by: Pat F. | June 30, 2014 at 09:49 PM
thc guy, that would be brilliant
Posted by: beeeeper | June 30, 2014 at 09:49 PM
Gennita: Don't forget Edgar. He needs to riiiiiise, riiiiiiiiiiise....well, given his size, roll over, at least.
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | June 30, 2014 at 09:50 PM
It's a little late for that, Marky Mark.
Posted by: Pat F. | June 30, 2014 at 09:50 PM
Russians and Chinese and hackers and Bauer, oh my!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | June 30, 2014 at 09:50 PM
Buffer configurations! Yum!
Posted by: Gennita Low | June 30, 2014 at 09:51 PM
Main Space Invaders screen turn on!
Posted by: danceswithvowels | June 30, 2014 at 09:51 PM
Dude, your Kung Pao Chicken breath is freakin' Chloe out. Back off a little...
Posted by: Wes S. | June 30, 2014 at 09:51 PM
Chloe was "persuaded" to go on a holiday cruise...via the sub...to China? Somehow Jack will rescue her.
And I miss yall. Was ill last week, this week no links??? this week? What was Dave thinking???
Posted by: funny man | June 30, 2014 at 09:51 PM
Having in an open door. As they say in Frozen.
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | June 30, 2014 at 09:52 PM
Don't say that, Adrian. You're not, but I hope to.
Posted by: danceswithvowels | June 30, 2014 at 09:52 PM
Oooh, revenge subplot for Chloepatra!
Posted by: Gennita Low | June 30, 2014 at 09:52 PM
Will Amazing Steve do his miraclulous recap? I laughed alot and healed fasted because I missed last weeks episode. Steve? Any chance you'll do a summary?
Posted by: funny man | June 30, 2014 at 09:52 PM
Nooooooooooooooo!
Posted by: nursecindy | June 30, 2014 at 09:53 PM
Oh, that's going to leave a mark.
Posted by: Pat F. | June 30, 2014 at 09:53 PM
He's so smart his brain leaks out of his head!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | June 30, 2014 at 09:53 PM
Chloe: "NO! NOT ADRIAN! I WANTED TO KILL HIM MYSELF!"
Posted by: Wes S. | June 30, 2014 at 09:54 PM
Ow!
Posted by: danceswithvowels | June 30, 2014 at 09:54 PM
Ruskies. Offering free bullets and body bags to Jack. Sorry, Jack dont play that game.
Posted by: funny man | June 30, 2014 at 09:54 PM
Finally! Some action.
Posted by: nursecindy | June 30, 2014 at 09:54 PM
Great time for the Russians to show up. Molodyets, dumbasses...
Posted by: Wes S. | June 30, 2014 at 09:54 PM
One ping only, Vassily!
Posted by: Pat F. | June 30, 2014 at 09:55 PM
I love it when the Chinese talks in English so the one lone hostage can understand them, heeheehee.
Posted by: Gennita Low | June 30, 2014 at 09:55 PM
Nuclear sub plot!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | June 30, 2014 at 09:55 PM
The Chinese - The Russians
Posted by: Melanie | June 30, 2014 at 09:55 PM
I think President Heller is going to wish he can forget today.
Posted by: Gennita Low | June 30, 2014 at 09:56 PM
Torpedo go boom.
Posted by: Pat F. | June 30, 2014 at 09:56 PM
Activate all subplots!
Posted by: beeeeper | June 30, 2014 at 09:56 PM
Chinese and Russians and Explosions Oh My!
Posted by: nursecindy | June 30, 2014 at 09:56 PM
Subplots go BOOOOOM!
Posted by: Gennita Low | June 30, 2014 at 09:56 PM
THEY ARE GOING TO SINK THE PLOT!
YOU SANK MY BATTLESHIP!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | June 30, 2014 at 09:56 PM
That was a LOT of shooting.
Posted by: danceswithvowels | June 30, 2014 at 09:56 PM
LOL @beeeeper
Posted by: Pat F. | June 30, 2014 at 09:56 PM
And now a Chinese Carrier subplot.
Well, it's a "sub"plot NOW.
Posted by: Wes S. | June 30, 2014 at 09:57 PM
BREATHE!!
Posted by: Ednamode | June 30, 2014 at 09:57 PM
GROAN, Wes.
Posted by: Pat F. | June 30, 2014 at 09:58 PM
Ohmygod. Fox really does want to "torpedo" 24????
"You're fired"--guest Star(?) Donald T.
"Hell no"--Chloe.
Jack will get out his Jack sack and swin accross the ocean in three mibutes to rescue Chloe and stop the
device.
Posted by: funny man | June 30, 2014 at 09:58 PM
So now the English, the Russians and the Chinese are all mad at us.
Posted by: Gennita Low | June 30, 2014 at 09:58 PM
So that was totally tubular.
Posted by: danceswithvowels | June 30, 2014 at 09:58 PM
This episode has made me dizzy. In a good way!
Posted by: beeeeper | June 30, 2014 at 09:58 PM
Next time: Explosions! Subplots! Soccer!
Posted by: danceswithvowels | June 30, 2014 at 09:59 PM
I think that submarine commander is going to be spending the night with the drone navigator....
Posted by: Gennita Low | June 30, 2014 at 09:59 PM
Looking forward to Tennant playing American.
Posted by: Pat F. | June 30, 2014 at 09:59 PM
Next week: A weasel hunt.
Posted by: Wes S. | June 30, 2014 at 10:00 PM
We need to go back to Wembley, Jack!
Posted by: Gennita Low | June 30, 2014 at 10:00 PM
Only two epidoses left. Jack gets to pistol whip bad guys and tornadoes are coming to Kansas. Lousy way to watch/blog a Monday,...
Posted by: funny man | June 30, 2014 at 10:00 PM
Oh, oh, only two more episodes left and EVERYONE is going to show up. Even Edgar. Even Tony, with Chloepatra eyeliner.
Posted by: Gennita Low | June 30, 2014 at 10:01 PM
I think the Wooden Dialog Generator was on vacation with Dave this week!
Posted by: Pat F. | June 30, 2014 at 10:01 PM
The Chinese are telling President Alcoholzeimers that the deaths will be on his head? Like he hasn't already heard that line ten times today...
Posted by: danceswithvowels | June 30, 2014 at 10:01 PM
Is Amazing Steve going to explain all the subplots to us tonight?
Posted by: Gennita Low | June 30, 2014 at 10:02 PM
"Chloepatra."
*Gigglesnort*
Posted by: Wes S. | June 30, 2014 at 10:02 PM
First it was El Nino. Then it was the Jet Stremer. Now, the new weather phenom...the Derecher.
Sounmds like a bad meal at the taco place.
Posted by: funny man | June 30, 2014 at 10:02 PM
If only Margot had lived to see this. *sniff*
Posted by: Pat F. | June 30, 2014 at 10:02 PM
Take it away, The Amazing Steve! Assuming you aren't down in Rio, tambien...
Posted by: danceswithvowels | June 30, 2014 at 10:03 PM
Chloepatra! That's so beautiful it may make my eyeliner run!
Posted by: danceswithvowels | June 30, 2014 at 10:04 PM
Yeah, Terrorist Mom is cackling in hell right now. Her plot was better than she'd planned in life!
Posted by: Gennita Low | June 30, 2014 at 10:05 PM
Next week on "The Last Ship"...oh, wait.
Posted by: Wes S. | June 30, 2014 at 10:05 PM
On the gooood ship, Lolipop. Kaboom!
Posted by: Gennita Low | June 30, 2014 at 10:05 PM
Roripop?
Posted by: danceswithvowels | June 30, 2014 at 10:07 PM
Speaking of subplots....
Be thankful for these blessings
1) Kim didn't show up...so far
2) Margot didn't cahs in her drone miles.
3) Lassie didn't show up either. "What's that girl?
Chloe's on a sub? Go get the marshall Lassie..."
4) President Allstate should be resurrected in time for the finale...
5) Jack and Auwdrey's love scene was cut
Posted by: funny man | June 30, 2014 at 10:07 PM
Favorite line of the night:
KATEPOSSIBLE FOR THE WIN!
Posted by: danceswithvowels | June 30, 2014 at 09:36 PM
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | June 30, 2014 at 10:08 PM
There's a good possibility of "The Good Ship Lollipop" in there somewhere, but I'm sticking with Disney themes this entire season.
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | June 30, 2014 at 10:09 PM
Ah, thanks, Hunt!
Posted by: danceswithvowels | June 30, 2014 at 10:09 PM
Genita:
Heller WILL forget. And he will forget that he actually did NOT sign Bauer's extradition orders.
Posted by: funny man | June 30, 2014 at 10:10 PM
Amazing Steve, we await your brilliance with bated breath. Or baited, possibly with anchovies.
Posted by: Pat F. | June 30, 2014 at 10:15 PM
Steve will be coming...hold tight!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | June 30, 2014 at 10:21 PM
Funny Man,
Meanwhile, Awwwwdrey remembers everything, even the night Jack came to say goodbye when she was in the half-coma and her dad told Jack to forget about her.
Lots of weird karma going on here....
Posted by: Gennita Low | June 30, 2014 at 10:22 PM
PLEASE GO TO THE CORRECT THREAD FOR TONIGHT SO I AM NOT IMMMMMMEDIATELY FIRED :) pleeeeeeease?!
Posted by: judithebarberho | June 30, 2014 at 10:29 PM
If it came to it, I think Adrian would probably agree to Jack's demands at this point. Adrian's been increasingly agreeable since meeting the Chinese.
Posted by: danceswithvowels | June 30, 2014 at 10:31 PM
The storms blew over Kansas City...not literally, either, but weather ureau has issued all clear for KC metro so hope St;Louis and all survive,.,,
Steve? Amazng Steve? ARe yoiu here there anywhere tonite?
Posted by: funny man | June 30, 2014 at 11:07 PM
Posted in the thread that got put up during the show.
Posted by: Steve (The 24 Guy) | July 01, 2014 at 02:59 PM