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June 16, 2014

24

Here is where we stand:

Jack Bauer managed to save Simone (code name “Pinky Stump”) from her Evil Drone Mom, who tried to kill Simone with missiles in an excellent car chase that required Jack to requisition two civilian vehicles, whose owners will no doubt be fully reimbursed by the United States government for any collateral damage caused by missiles or getting punched in the face. Jack is now supposed to meet with President William Devane, who appears to be about to turn himself over to Margot in exchange for not wreaking any more special effects on downtown London.

The Russians still want Jack.

Navarro is still the mole and is doing mole things with that other guy. We frankly do not understand this part of the plot.

Agent Kate Morgan is still very capable.

Edgar is still dead.

We will be providing updates during tonight’s episode as plot developments develop. Stay tuned in the comments afterward for The Amazing Steve’s amazing recap.

In conclusion: Go Heat USA soccer team!

UPDATE: The Amazing Steve writes that "If you count the movie Redemption, tonight is the 200th hour of 24."

UPDATE: "These are more like Kaiser rolls than doughnuts." Ooooh, BURN.

UPDATE: Who the hell turns in doughnuts with NO FILLING??? 

UPDATE: ANOTHER drill?

UPDATE: President Devane is lucky Jack didn't deck him.

UPDATE: OK, with all due respect to the writers, why would Terror Mom care what anybody thinks, seeing as how she is a psychotic mass murderer?

UPDATE: "So wake the bitch up." Whoa.

UPDATE: This is really not Simone's day.

UPDATE: "We need a drill and a soldering iron STAT."

UPDATE: Mark of course can get the codes for Wembley Stadium. 

UPDATE: So is Audrey in charge of the government? Or what?

UPDATE: The Secret Service detail plugs right into Jack's phone.

UPDATE: HOLY CRAP JACK IS CUTTING OPEN THE PRESIDENT.

UPDATE: The president, like everybody else on this show, heals in seconds.

UPDATE: Right. It's easy for the president of the United Freaking States to walk away from all his security. Because they never think to cover... the back door!

UPDATE: "Geez, Jack! Do you always have to PUNCH everybody?"

UPDATE: Jack don't need no stinkin' pilot.

UPDATE: Jack don't need to get no clearance from no air-traffic-control authorities.

UPDATE: Errand boy strikes back!

UPDATE: Apparently the safety is off. 

UPDATE: It's just a gaping chest wound. He'll be fine.

UPDATE: TAC Team 7 is my favorite TAC Team.

UPDATE: Didn't Kate get stabbed in the leg like 90 minutes ago?

UPDATE: It's nice the way Terror Mom praises her son when he reactivates the drones.

UPDATE: Fortunately, a helicopter landing in Wembley Stadium would not draw any attention.

UPDATE: Is it just me, or does Audrey have weird nostrils?

UPDATE: This is some very fine overacting.

UPDATE: Seriously, something has been done to those nostrils.

UPDATE: "End of the road, Jack." WHO WRITES THIS STUFF?

UPDATE: Chloe has managed to resolve the data pack into three screens! BUT WE'RE OUT OF TIME!

UPDATE: And the president is tackled by Wayne Rooney!

UPDATE: I bet they're glad they got the Facial Recognition App for their drone.

UPDATE: HOLY CRAP SHE BLEW UP THE PRESIDENT!

UPDATE: Next week: PAYBACK. Take it, The Amazing Steve.

Comments

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adrian has serious bauer-envy

That guy is Frankenstein and Chloe is the bride....

The Patented Chloe brush off.

Adrian is lining up for some hurt.

Oh no, Audrey is catatonic again....

Audrey figured it out.

"You knew"?

Adrian is just not a good name for a puppett-master.

Tell her, Mark. Then kill her.

Awdrey knows. Mark's a dead man.

Oh no. Audrey. And she's crying. OH GAWD!

HE KNEW...shoot him....

Is the the first time we've seen her cry this season?

Oh-oh. Bawwwwldrey is not going to forgive Mark.

who gnu ?

Ooooh, traitor hubby has betrayed Awwwwwdrey. Not a good choice.

Awwwdrey.

Mark doesn't lie well enough for a politician.

"I could have changed his mind."

"Mind? What mind?"

um, the picture thang was 'saying goodbye'

/jus' sayin'

Stop stop stop. Shoot the missile at ME, Margot! Please!

If they shot each other...that would work....

It was a privilege to service your father.

Shoot him in the thigh, Stick Insect!

Ugliest photo moment: Auwdrey makes a face when she greets Mark. They will be a long-married couple.
Snicker.


She's about He dad flying off with Jack, and she's more than a tad jealous. "I thought JAck liked me
better.."

Ok, I don't like Mark but that was a low blow by Awwwdrey. You serve the President; he tells you to do something, you do it.

Ugh, Awwwwdrey.
And double ugh, weasel Mark.

Yes, Pat! Desperate times call for thigh measures!

who's on first

Jack, who else?

How will we know?

Big Boooom.

PENALTY FLAG THROWN AT dancwithvoewllsldkdk

How do we know when it's over?!!!!

Umm. Turn on the TV. Wembley Station's just been hit by a drone, Bawwwdrey. Guess who was in it?

Mark needs to call in his frog protection agent.

So, uh...doesn't someone need to tell the Vice President?

I think the big KABOOM will pretty much tell her it's over.

And they just walk right into Wembley....

Pardon! Called it!

Audrey's crying.

*drinks, repeatedly*

Presidential pardon. Excellent!

Pardoned!! DRINK!

Wonderful. I tuned in just in time to see Awwwdrey crying again. Sigh.

We're out of time! Drink!

"I need more time!"

*drinks*

Don't hold your breath about the pardon, Jack. Mark will burn the document and the Russians will take you for a holiday.

Shoot the pres jack...its whathe'd want...

Chloe! Cross The Streams!

Cue the violins

More time?

PLAY BALLLLLL!

I hope he gets a good opening pitch off.

The music is heavier than a black hole. We get it, we get it.

He thinks he's there to throw out the first pitch.

Yo, Margot! I'm here.

I hope Margot can recognize the President with that very clever hat disguise.

President thinks He's in Yankee Stadium for the first pitch.

Can't recognize him without glasses.

Grounds keeper is gonna be pissed....

Well, in Heller's defense: Would you rather die of Alzheimers, or die of a Hellfire to the face?

I'll take door number two, Alex...

It's Joe Biden!

I gotta say, Heller is one courageous sumbitch. He deserves a silent clock if it happens - one of the few who really does deserve it.

Give Auwdrey to the Russians, Then they soon will surrender if we'll take her back. Of course, we shouldn't...

"You may fire when ready."

And she misses

Facebook Facial Recognition is working!

WHOA.

WHAAAAATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

WHOA...

RIP President Heller

Heller forgets.

Yes, you did.

I think she got him in the thigh!

She made a hole out of him!

What was that about the grounds keeper having a fit?

No silent clock???

Kaboom.

Good thing the World Cup's not being played in London this year; they'd have a hell of a time playing around the big hole in the middle of the field at Wembley...

Wait, no silent clock??

That's not Heller! You killed his stunt double!

So does that mean it's all over...the terrorists will go away peacefully now? Phew...London is saved.

you mean rest in pieces, jeff

I don't think he's dead. Of course I could be wrong.

...And there goes President Devane....

I call BS on the lack of the silent clock at the end to signify a death...

NO SILENT CLOCK?!

WHAT? NO SILENT CLOCK?

Just a flesh wound....

Bauer faked them out. That was a dummy. The reall Heller would have been asking for Geritol, and crawling around....

What????! No silent clock?!?!? Those bastards! They killed Heller!!

No silent countdown? He didn't die! Chloe saved him. Made them think they saw him.

What you said, Diva. If anybody deserved a silent clock, it was President Big Ask.

It's just a flesh wound. He'll be alright.

no silent clock?? those bastards

No silent clock must mean something.

Thigh shot! DRINK!

Did he get out of the way or did they not grant him the silent clock?

No silent clock?

Yeah, the clock is a bit of a puzzle.

Please replace all divots on the pitch.

I hope we can trust Margot to replace her divots...

That was a heck of a kick.

Great minds think "WHOA"

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