24

Here is where we stand:

Jack Bauer managed to save Simone (code name “Pinky Stump”) from her Evil Drone Mom, who tried to kill Simone with missiles in an excellent car chase that required Jack to requisition two civilian vehicles, whose owners will no doubt be fully reimbursed by the United States government for any collateral damage caused by missiles or getting punched in the face. Jack is now supposed to meet with President William Devane, who appears to be about to turn himself over to Margot in exchange for not wreaking any more special effects on downtown London.

The Russians still want Jack.

Navarro is still the mole and is doing mole things with that other guy. We frankly do not understand this part of the plot.

Agent Kate Morgan is still very capable.

Edgar is still dead.

We will be providing updates during tonight’s episode as plot developments develop. Stay tuned in the comments afterward for The Amazing Steve’s amazing recap.

In conclusion: Go Heat USA soccer team!

UPDATE: The Amazing Steve writes that "If you count the movie Redemption, tonight is the 200th hour of 24."

UPDATE: "These are more like Kaiser rolls than doughnuts." Ooooh, BURN.

UPDATE: Who the hell turns in doughnuts with NO FILLING??? 

UPDATE: ANOTHER drill?

UPDATE: President Devane is lucky Jack didn't deck him.

UPDATE: OK, with all due respect to the writers, why would Terror Mom care what anybody thinks, seeing as how she is a psychotic mass murderer?

UPDATE: "So wake the bitch up." Whoa.

UPDATE: This is really not Simone's day.

UPDATE: "We need a drill and a soldering iron STAT."

UPDATE: Mark of course can get the codes for Wembley Stadium. 

UPDATE: So is Audrey in charge of the government? Or what?

UPDATE: The Secret Service detail plugs right into Jack's phone.

UPDATE: HOLY CRAP JACK IS CUTTING OPEN THE PRESIDENT.

UPDATE: The president, like everybody else on this show, heals in seconds.

UPDATE: Right. It's easy for the president of the United Freaking States to walk away from all his security. Because they never think to cover... the back door!

UPDATE: "Geez, Jack! Do you always have to PUNCH everybody?"

UPDATE: Jack don't need no stinkin' pilot.

UPDATE: Jack don't need to get no clearance from no air-traffic-control authorities.

UPDATE: Errand boy strikes back!

UPDATE: Apparently the safety is off. 

UPDATE: It's just a gaping chest wound. He'll be fine.

UPDATE: TAC Team 7 is my favorite TAC Team.

UPDATE: Didn't Kate get stabbed in the leg like 90 minutes ago?

UPDATE: It's nice the way Terror Mom praises her son when he reactivates the drones.

UPDATE: Fortunately, a helicopter landing in Wembley Stadium would not draw any attention.

UPDATE: Is it just me, or does Audrey have weird nostrils?

UPDATE: This is some very fine overacting.

UPDATE: Seriously, something has been done to those nostrils.

UPDATE: "End of the road, Jack." WHO WRITES THIS STUFF?

UPDATE: Chloe has managed to resolve the data pack into three screens! BUT WE'RE OUT OF TIME!

UPDATE: And the president is tackled by Wayne Rooney!

UPDATE: I bet they're glad they got the Facial Recognition App for their drone.

UPDATE: HOLY CRAP SHE BLEW UP THE PRESIDENT!

UPDATE: Next week: PAYBACK. Take it, The Amazing Steve.

Comments

[danceswithvowels]

Devane called Jack "son"

[Homeybeef]

"Have you told Audrey?"
"Who?"

[Jeff Meyerson]

Uh oh - Audrey alert.

[Jeff Meyerson]

GMTA, cindy.

[Gennita Low]

Noooooo! Don't let Awedrey into the sekrit death plan!!!

[LeDud]

Sprint...code.....connect24....I'm excited....

[nursecindy]

Can someone please explain these stupid Sprint commercials to me?

[Diva]

Andy, I'm just wondering why you need a pardon.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Cue the pretentious Jag-u-ar ad.

[LeDud]

SEX TAPE....take the wife and kids....

[Javaguzzler]

Somehow, thinks he'll be safe/saved. Not sure about pardon

[Trent]

Cindy, my wife and I have been wondering the same thing about the Sprint campaign ever since it began! What's the deal with the hamster???

[Pat F.]

"It all starts with the bread."

No, the *doughnuts,* ding dong.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Diva: Didn't you read my intro tonight? Do I need further justification?

[Blogchik]

Awwwwwdrey, ugh.

Maybe Evil Mummy will shoot her.

...One can hope.

[SigBauer]

@ cindy

dumb tie-in -- don't sweat 'em ...

[Jeff Meyerson]

Gee cindym you don't think it's "tres good"?

[Diva]

Cindy, I'll explain them to you. Once someone explains them to me, that is.

[Gennita Low]

Diva,

Andy has been shooting thighs.

[Loudmouth]

Oh God, he trusts slimy Mark.

[Pat F.]

I see that Melissa McCarthy is picking up where John Candy/Chris Farley left off. Bummer.

[funny man]

Evil Mom can only get a man if he surrenders? Sje must be loads of fun on a blind date, and be sure to count your digits...

[Jeff Meyerson]

I'd trust Audrey long before I'd trust this clown. Mark is a weenie.

[danceswithvowels]

The President is demanding service!

[Pat F.]

Can we facilitate Mark's death, too? Maybe a Groupon?

[Diva]

You make a good point, Andy.

[Javaguzzler]

There a waste of time. Wish we had a DVR live to fast forwar through them.

[MareBear]

@ Jeff, it might be pretentious but it sure is purty. :)

[Pat F.]

Dammit! Drink!

[Jeff Meyerson]

"Dammit"

*drinks*

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Transition should be smooth? A terrorist blows up the President and that constitutes a smooth transition?

[LeDud]

Shoot the GD doctor in the thigh Beatch.....

[Gennita Low]

Prez Forgetful doesn't want to debate about death.

[danceswithvowels]

JACK SAID BITCH!

[Siouxie]

Wake the bitch up!

[ligirl]

jack said *b!tch*

[Jeff Meyerson]

"Wake the b!tch up!"

That's the Jack we know and love.

[Homeybeef]

"Wake the bitch up"

[Trent]

Jack's getting personal....wow!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

WAKE THE BIYOTCH up!

[nursecindy]

Considering everything Kate has been through, her hair and makeup look amazing!

[rockin01]

I'm fuzzy on the rules- do you drink on "Wake the bitch up"?

[funny man]

MasterCard moment: When the President tells you he's
putting someone else in charge...Priceless....

Audrey-Hubby had that "frosen deer in the headlights" look..

[Gennita Low]

"WAKE THE BITCH UP!" Jack is getting impatient.

[SigBauer]

heh -- once the doc finds out he isn't liable ... he's cool with it ...
[!!!!]

[Jeff Meyerson]

Yo, Fingers. Wake up!

[LeDud]

Does the term "bitch" constitute 2 drinks ?

[Trent]

Kate must have the same hair/makeup stylist that Agent Freckles had!

[Diva]

So, her back is to the other guys, yet they don't move to get the gun. They're just standing there with no expression. Must be a rough neighborhood.

[danceswithvowels]

He gave her adrenaline. Bitches love adrenaline.
I guess...

[SigBauer]

@ Le

heck yeah ...
:-)

[nursecindy]

Really? Steri-strips on a facial laceration?

[Siouxie]

Simone looks like one of the Walking Dead. Only worse.

[ligirl]

maybe a bitch slap, ledud

[DarkSarcasm]

Someone as badass as Renee? Man...Agent Kate Morgan might as well be wearing a redshirt.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Rosebud....

[funny man]

Simone is all doped up....maybe there's someone human inside....

[Jeff Meyerson]

Simone is circling the drain.

[Siouxie]

Ok..the bitch can die now.

[Cheesewiz]

Doughnuts stat!

[Pat F.]

Awkward!

[Homeybeef]

"Work together and just kill me already"

[danceswithvowels]

Plan: Jack shoots Mark.

[Trent]

Hit him, Jack! Take him down!!

[Diva]

Time is short, but Jack Bauer is shorter.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Trust one another?

Hahahaha! Good one, Mark.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

"We need to find a way to trust one another."

Thanks, writers!

[Pat F.]

Perimeter! Drink!

[Siouxie]

PERIMETER!! DRINK!

[KJP]

"You two are the only ones who know what's going on... Besides the terrorist, and anyone any of you may have told."

[Blogchik]

Mark: I'm a weenie who's sold you to the Russians.

Perimeter! Drink!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Perimeter!

*drinks*

[Trent]

Perimeter!

[LeDud]

Set up a PERIMETER DAMMIT !

[MareBear]

perimeter!

[funny man]

Jack didn't call Chloe, oe ask for more ammo. Has he gone soft?

[Jeff Meyerson]

AUDREY ALERT!!!

[Diva]

*upload* drinks!!

[danceswithvowels]

Awdrey should't forgive Mark for anything, even if the Unicorn Army shows up.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Calling it now: Chloe gets into drone computer and stops the one targeting the President in the nick of time.

[Ednamode]

Kate Morgan looks really good for someone who was just tortured.

[Trent]

President Devane said "beech", too!!!

[LeDud]

"Nothing bad could happen to her...." Then she met Jack.

[Cheesewiz]

More shooting, less reminiscing

[Gennita Low]

Simone is tough, man. Mom chopped off her finger, lost her husband, got double-decked by a bus, chased by a drone, forced to wake up from an induced zombie state coma. Really bad day, girlfriend.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Someone tell me when to open my eyes when thus scene is over.

[Loudmouth]

She's sending a tag team. Tag you're it.

[funny man]

Heller: Can I have a photo of you and your daughter?

Auwdrey: Sure, why...

Heller: I need to remember my failures and successes...

[Jeff Meyerson]

Dad is doing great - not!

C'Mon, Audrey. Figure it out. This is goodbye.

[KJP]

Nothing to get you in the mood for death quite like a few minutes with Audrey.

[Homeybeef]

Worst day of his life? Didn't he have to drive off of a cliff once?

[Trent]

That picture was from William Devane's days on Knots Landing....as Senator Sumner!

[danceswithvowels]

Apart from the worst day of my life being the last day of my life, yeah, peachy.

[Loudmouth]

Speedbump.

[Pat F.]

Good eye, Trent!

[Blogchik]

An AWWWWW moment with AWWWDrey!
Blergh!

[DarkSarcasm]

"And here's a picture from when you were on Knots Landing..."

[SigBauer]

@ Trent

kudos to the studio guys for digging that out ...

[Diva]

I loved Knott's Landing.

[Jeff Meyerson]

I wish Ian would drop a missile on that annoying stubbly Lincoln Hybrid sales guy. He belongs in that Sprint ad.