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June 16, 2014

24

Here is where we stand:

Jack Bauer managed to save Simone (code name “Pinky Stump”) from her Evil Drone Mom, who tried to kill Simone with missiles in an excellent car chase that required Jack to requisition two civilian vehicles, whose owners will no doubt be fully reimbursed by the United States government for any collateral damage caused by missiles or getting punched in the face. Jack is now supposed to meet with President William Devane, who appears to be about to turn himself over to Margot in exchange for not wreaking any more special effects on downtown London.

The Russians still want Jack.

Navarro is still the mole and is doing mole things with that other guy. We frankly do not understand this part of the plot.

Agent Kate Morgan is still very capable.

Edgar is still dead.

We will be providing updates during tonight’s episode as plot developments develop. Stay tuned in the comments afterward for The Amazing Steve’s amazing recap.

In conclusion: Go Heat USA soccer team!

UPDATE: The Amazing Steve writes that "If you count the movie Redemption, tonight is the 200th hour of 24."

UPDATE: "These are more like Kaiser rolls than doughnuts." Ooooh, BURN.

UPDATE: Who the hell turns in doughnuts with NO FILLING??? 

UPDATE: ANOTHER drill?

UPDATE: President Devane is lucky Jack didn't deck him.

UPDATE: OK, with all due respect to the writers, why would Terror Mom care what anybody thinks, seeing as how she is a psychotic mass murderer?

UPDATE: "So wake the bitch up." Whoa.

UPDATE: This is really not Simone's day.

UPDATE: "We need a drill and a soldering iron STAT."

UPDATE: Mark of course can get the codes for Wembley Stadium. 

UPDATE: So is Audrey in charge of the government? Or what?

UPDATE: The Secret Service detail plugs right into Jack's phone.

UPDATE: HOLY CRAP JACK IS CUTTING OPEN THE PRESIDENT.

UPDATE: The president, like everybody else on this show, heals in seconds.

UPDATE: Right. It's easy for the president of the United Freaking States to walk away from all his security. Because they never think to cover... the back door!

UPDATE: "Geez, Jack! Do you always have to PUNCH everybody?"

UPDATE: Jack don't need no stinkin' pilot.

UPDATE: Jack don't need to get no clearance from no air-traffic-control authorities.

UPDATE: Errand boy strikes back!

UPDATE: Apparently the safety is off. 

UPDATE: It's just a gaping chest wound. He'll be fine.

UPDATE: TAC Team 7 is my favorite TAC Team.

UPDATE: Didn't Kate get stabbed in the leg like 90 minutes ago?

UPDATE: It's nice the way Terror Mom praises her son when he reactivates the drones.

UPDATE: Fortunately, a helicopter landing in Wembley Stadium would not draw any attention.

UPDATE: Is it just me, or does Audrey have weird nostrils?

UPDATE: This is some very fine overacting.

UPDATE: Seriously, something has been done to those nostrils.

UPDATE: "End of the road, Jack." WHO WRITES THIS STUFF?

UPDATE: Chloe has managed to resolve the data pack into three screens! BUT WE'RE OUT OF TIME!

UPDATE: And the president is tackled by Wayne Rooney!

UPDATE: I bet they're glad they got the Facial Recognition App for their drone.

UPDATE: HOLY CRAP SHE BLEW UP THE PRESIDENT!

UPDATE: Next week: PAYBACK. Take it, The Amazing Steve.

Comments

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Of course ai could be wrong....


How do telkl the differnce between Heller and a dummy mannequin of Heller? The mannequin has a brighter personality...

Damn gophers.

Trent wins the "no silent clock" fast-draw!

ok so will the previews ruin it?? hmmmmmm

I'm with Andy. He ain't dead yet.

And so it goes? Or doesn't?

Well, Chloe. You aren't that busy any more.

RIP Mr President...Should have used the silent lock there....

Of course, he got out of the way...to give more room for next episode. lol

Wow, Mommy is NOT happy next week.

Next week, Jack makes it personal! Yea!!!!

Is Marwan going to fly again?!?!

Prez Heller is going to pop of that hole in a sec and sing, "I'm all right..."

Hold up, "Darkest day in country's history?" Ummmm, no.

Good episode...or is it the 3 gin and toniks ?

More plot complications to add for next 24.

Darkest day in Englands history. They blew up that kickball stadium!


Welp. That's a new one for 24. President got droned and turned into a gopher.

Jack didn't shoot down the drone with his pistol?

Did Bill B. get a silent clock? blanking on that right now ...

Snerk @GLow...one of my favorite movies!

"How'd you like to make $24 the hard way?"

Uh...someone needs to wake up the Vice President...

What's up with the silent clock?

Chicago Fox News is reporting your pizza app has been hacked - somebody can make your preferred toppings public. I swear I'm not kidding...that was one of the 9pm lead headlines!?!?

Both.

Looks like Terror Mom doesn't keep her word. I'm shocked.

Next week - PAYBACK.

That's what they get for no silent clock.

Yup, Bill got a silent clock, SigB.

/checks wiki

never mind, he did ...

DOn't assume anything. Thw writers didn't kniow what to do, so they filmed ---maybe--two versions. One with Heller dying and one where he survives. Either way,
expect Auwdrey to go bananas. And jack wants payback.
Seriously, he hasn't been paid in five years....

I'm waiting for, "Nooooo Mooore Wiiire Hangersss!!!"

Our local news: a fathers day cookout disrupted by shooting....Hopefully not Jack.....

Thx. Pat.

/OK, i guess no other choice but to wait until next week. not sure how they can wriggle out of it tho
[!!!!!]

Everybody now!

I'm all right.
Nobody worry 'bout me.
Why you gotta gimme a fight?
Why don't you just let me be?

//Prez Heller doing the Gopher Dance

So where's Discredited Airman now, do you think?

What, Trent?! They shut down the Kennedy, and now they steal our private pizza preferences!

It's Dominos Pizza that's been hacked. The toppings preferences of 600,000 customers could be made public if the hacker isn't paid his ransom from Domino's! (is this really news???)

If the pres is alive....I will declare 24 unbeliveable....

No, really, what happened to the drones with doughnuts. I WAS PROMISED DRONES WITH DOUGHNUTS!!!!!!

That drone made quite the doughnut hole, huh? Huh?

Best quote of the night:

It's easy to distract the Secret Service, Jack. Just send in some women and hotel room keys.

Posted by: Gennita Low | June 16, 2014 at 09:24 PM

LeDud: If you haven't done that already...

Mommy has to get rid of the missles before she can give the drones back to Amazon.UK.

i dunno - what the hell was that thing jack put in his arm - some sort of cloaking device??

*SNORK* at Genn!!

That was the President's permanent nicotine patch.

Next Week: Instant Playback.

Wembley = Bushwood

Well, I hope Steve (our favorite Steve, not the mole) will help us understnd this mishwash of excitment and talk of donuts.

HURRAY!

I won Tropichunt's Best Line of the Night :D. You ain't no Cumberbitch after all, Tropic.

Prez Heller should have had a doughnut first.

ligirl comes in second, tho, with the "Hellercopter" one. ROFL. :)

Speaking of bitch, Marion Barry's autobiography comes out soon. That should be a hoot.

well, gennita, he got deeply fried

y'know, James Heller is [was?] a thoughtful man. and as he advanced through life, surely after he had been elected, his thoughts must have turned to how he wuld make his mortal exit. but we can guar-an-tee that this scenario did NOT figger in to the, i dunno, top 120 scenarios
[!!!!]

@ Loud

y'now, if he didn't use a ghostwriter, that culd b the biggest must read of all time ...
:-)

Hell's Kitchen and 24 are seperate shows. And should be
viewed in that context. Last week, meatkloaf and drones. Now, this week donuts and drones. Next week:
PAncakes and Dr, Phil. (just kidding)

Well done everyone ! I need to go sleep it off...errrr...go to sleep. Hope to read AMAZINGS recap tomorrow !

I think Jack got a real Harry Potter's magic wand and turned Heller into a real gopher, and Heller buried himself saefely underground when the missle hit.

Makes as much sense as anything in 24.

Next week Drone Mom and Jack play Quidditch on drones.

Guys, just had a scary thought...

24, THE MUSICAL ON broadway.

Keifer recreates Jack Bauer for the B'way nusical.
The soundtrack: As many of your brilliant bloggers
suggested, "I'm Alright" by Kenny Loggins,

an early Stones Jem, "I'd Rather Be with the Boys"
when Mark tells Auwdrey he betrayed her.

and Auwdrey's siloquy is Nilson's One. ANd then
she kills herself.

I can only hope...

Almost done! Hang on!

Wow, Amzaing Steve is getting faster than Superman...
in under an hour!!! I praise and thank you in advance...

Ehhhhh, I hope Heller's dead. He was about as useful as an unstuffed doughnut.

PREVIOUSLY ON “24”: Margot and Ian tried to use a drone to deliver something to Simone; Jack’s quick driving makes things explode behind him; Jordan learned being out in the field is a little tougher than it sounds; Mark wants to deliver Jack to the Russians; The President made a decision - but we’re not sure he remembers what the decision was.

The following takes place between 6pm and 7pm -

6pm – Hodor! Hodor, Hodor…. Hodor! …..Whoops. Sorry. That was last night.

6pm – Simone is a GREAT sleeper, because she slept all the way to the make-shift CIA headquarters, which just happens to have an operating room. They're really prepared at the CIA. Just to check to see if she's faking, they say they're going to drill a hole in her head. She doesn't budge.

Margot and Ian are packing an entire house in a van. Margot tells a very surprised Ian that President Heller might actually meet her demands, which include a pack of Jelly Babies, which she's not been able to find anywhere in England.

At the US Embassy, Jack is sitting is either sitting in a big boy chair, or people in England are HUGE. He gets a phone call. It's Kate. She tells him that Simone is going to be induced. Jack says he didn't even know Simone was pregnant. Kate says she meant induce a coma. Jack says that she's been in England too long, and it's pronounced "comma", and besides, he wants to make sure Simone wakes up, even if it kills her. He hangs up and gets a disapproving stare from Mr. Judgmental Secret Service Agent.

At CIA, Steve calls his "cleaner", using a phone from his cabinet of Mole Phones. The cleaner is terrible at cleaning. Also at shooting, because Jordan is still alive. Steve is worried that Jordan might figure out that the people shooting at him want him dead.

The cleaner goes on a really intensive search, standing in place, and notices that Jordan left a blood trail. Jordan limps along, while holding his shoulder, which is what you do when your legs are OK, but your shoulder is shot. He checks his phone, and immediately regrets not buying the "in case you get shot" app.

Heller calls Jack into the room to meet with him, just to waste Jack's time which would be better spent thigh shooting. Heller tells Jack that he's going to ask him to do something he doesn't want to do. Jack says it's too late, he's already agreed to be on another season of "24". Heller tells him, "No, not that, I mean something else". He explains that he spoke to Margot, and that he's going to let Margot kill him at Wembley stadium. Heller doesn't seem to see the problem with this.

Heller shows him a TV guide, and tells Jack it's actually a resignation letter, effective in an hour. Jack doesn't like this one bit, because he's always been upset every time other presidents have died when he was nearby. Like President All State. But not President Manilow. Jack dons his Jack Pack and starts to leave, but stops when Heller admits he has Alzheimer's. Heller starts yelling at Jack that it's the only way to stop Margot from killing again. He's pretty darn sure that a terrorist like that would keep her word, because he has no evidence that she would keep her word, which logically means she could probably almost sorta in a very likely way not not not keep her word. He thinks. Jack tries a Jack Stare but it doesn't work.

Heller tells Jack, "If you were standing here in my shoes in my exact same position, you'd do the same thing." Jack says, "If I were in your shoes in your exact same position, it would have been because of a transporter accident, and we both know that can't happen." Jack agrees to take Heller to Wembley stadium, but he'll need another person to help, because if Audrey even sniffs that's something up, she'll start howling, and nobody wants that.

COMMERCIAL

6:13 pm – The best person that Heller can find is Mark, which must mean that there is no one else in the building. Heller convinces Mark to go along with this by suggesting that the VP will hire Mark… all he has to do is convince the VP that the whole "allowing the President to die" is something that would never in a bajillion years happen again. Mark seems a little worried because up until now, no one has seen the VP, and the VP might be a figment of Heller's imagination.

Jack calls Kate. She tells him that Simone hasn't woken up. This upsets Jack, who tells Kate that she should have pushed the doctor. Kate responds that the doctor isn't a Weeble, and even the doctor was a Weeble, he'd pop right back up and say that Simone would be in grave danger. Jack reminds her that lots of people will be in graves if they don't do something right away. Jack tells Heller's plan and then uses a bad word, which convinces Kate.

Kate goes in and tries to convince the doctor to wake Simone up. When asking nicely doesn't work, she switches to Bauer mode and pulls a gun on the doctor, who asks "Who do you think you are?" Kate rolls her eyes and asks him if everyone is getting Alzheimer's around here. He comes to his senses and gives Simone the medical wake-up juice that ever doctor has on hand.

Simone wakes up. Kate tells Simone about how Margot is really bad person, and that she'd like to blow up a bunch of people, which doesn't convince her until Kate reminds her of those giant explosions with Simone's name written all over them. Simone finally gives Kate an address, but says that Margot won't be there, and she has no idea where she could be. Kate asks if there's anything else Simone can give her. Simone looks like she'd like to give Kate a lap full of barf, but instead tells her about the CD under the floorboards, and oh, by the way, she'll have a heart attack. Which she does, since she knows the doctors are nearby and have nothing else to do at the moment. Kate's so moved by this that she calls to have a team meet her at Margot's house.

At the Embassy, Jack is shocked that Heller's go-to guy is Mark. Heller tells them both that time, like Jack, is short, and they should work out a plan. He leaves.

6:18 pm – Mark asks what he can do to help Jack, and Jack gives him all kinds of information, which Mark somehow remembers. He says he'll incapacitate everyone by holding a full building staff meeting, which should put everyone to sleep.

Kate calls, and tells Jack the information about the disk that Simone gave her. Jack tells her to upload it to Chloe when they find it. Kate tells him that she'll upload it to Chloe's computer instead, because despite being Chloe, she probably can't have information directly uploaded to her yet.

Heller wanders down the hall, and enters a room where Audrey is busily banging a way at a keyboard. Bob Newhart is in the corner observing her progress: "To be or not to be, that is the gazorninblat…".

Audrey notices Heller walk into the room. Heller asks to see a picture of Audrey, her mother, and himself at the beach, and notices a statue of liberty in the background of the picture. He looks at Audrey as she returns to what she was doing and realizes that statue explains a lot of things about Audrey.

COMMERCIAL

6:25 pm – Mark gives Jack some information about the Secret Service detail. Mark tells him that he's going to have that meeting in a few minutes, and just to be sure everyone will be occupied, he's going to have them fill out TPS reports.

Steve gets a phone call from Jordan! Jordan is really upset about this whole "getting shot at" thing, and doesn't like field work ONE BIT. He wants to come out of the pool, RIGHT NOW. Jordan tells him exactly where he is, which is in a police box outside of a motorcycle shop. Jordan doesn't realize it's actually a phone booth, because if it were a police box, he'd be dodging Daleks by now. Jordan hangs up, and Steve immediately calls the cleaner to take Jordan out to the cleaners.

Back at the embassy, Jack does some surgery on the President to remove his secret decoder chip. As a reward, Heller gets a SpongeBob bandaid.
Heller dons a clever disguise so that no one will recognize him while they walk through the building: a HAT! I can't even recognize him.

6:28 pm – Jack and the President walk through the hallway, having no issues as they walk through until they get to the fire exit. Heller points out that they're not on fire, so they probably can't exit that way. A Secret Service agent interrupts them, and Heller gets a first hand look at Jack using his first hand to knock the Secret Service agent out in one punch. They exit to the street, where Heller blends right in with all the other people in London that wear baseball caps.

COMMERCIAL

6:37 pm – Jack gets to a helicopter, and Heller immediately blows their cover by telling the guy who got the helicopter there who he is. Jack starts the helicopter, and plays classical music out the loudspeakers to throw everyone off the trail.

The cleaner doesn't follow the directions that Steve gave him very well, because he can't tell where the heck Jordan is. It turns out that Jordan is right behind him, and cleans the Cleaner of his weapons. Jordan tells him that he knows Steve is behind this whole thing, but he just wants to know: Is it because of that time he wasn't asked out to lunch along with everyone else? The Cleaner tries to use the old "Hey, is the safety on or off" on Steve, which surprisingly, works. The cleaner pulls a little, tiny, but sharp knife out of the back of his head and attacks Jordan. They get into a hand-to-hand struggle, just as the phone rings. This distracts them both. Jordan gets knifed, and the Cleaner gets gunned. The Cleaner is dead. Jordan looks like he really regrets going into the field.

6:41 pm – Up in the helicopter, Jack's switched from classical music to weird mood music.

At the Al-Harazi house, a bunch of guys that are completely invisible under the cover of darkness give themselves away by putting lights at the end of their guns. The guys pull up the floor boards, and obviously aren't computer guys, because they THINK, that POSSIBLY the hard drive they just found hiding under there might be the computer drive they've been looking for. Kate keeps them busy by telling them to look for more, just in case. Meanwhile, one of the guys uploads the drive to make-shift CIA headquarters. And boy, has the wireless internet speed gotten a lot faster in the last hour, because that whole hard drive uploads in no time flat.

Kate looks for Jordan, and that creepy guy from last episode tells her he's not sure where the heck Jordan is. Jordan's been gone for about an hour, and he hasn't had anyone to stalk for all that time. Kate has him send the drive data to Chloe, which probably got uploaded before you read the end of this sentence.

Kate goes to talk to Steve, who can't possibly figure out where Jordan might be, but he's darned sure that he should be at his workstation. She tells Steve that Margot got a 30 minute head start, which means they could be in a 500 square mile radius of the house by now, because people in England drive faster than a NASCAR racers.

Margot and Ian are finishing setting up in a non-descript building, which looks like the back of another building we've already seen, except it's at night. Ian and Margot argue about whether or not they should use the rest of the drones, but Margot insists that a Stark always pays her debts. Ian tries to point out that it's Lannisters, and that it's not even the same show. Margot then insists that they'll be all Even-Steven when Heller dies.

Outside of Wembley stadium, Jack announces they're outside of Wembley stadium. London has remarkably lax airspace laws, so no one bothers them at all.

Chloe calls Jack as they land. Chloe's using the data from the drive to hack into the drone system from a bar. She hasn't had a drink, so it's making it tougher. Jack tells her to do the best she can. But figure out the drone thing first, and then get a beer. Heller and Jack go into the stadium, which just happens to have all the lights turned on, and is wide open.

COMMERCIAL

6:51pm – Adrian calls Steve to confirm Jordan is dead, and Steve pinky swears he is.

Adrian then calls Chloe, and says that he has a snug little spot where they can deliver state secrets over the internet just like old times. Chloe says she's a little busy and can't help right now and hangs up on him. She never stops typing.

Back at the Embassy, Mark is surprised that he's looking for Audrey. But he is. A nearby Secret Service agent points at the door and warns Mark that Audrey is in there, but he goes in anyway.

Someone taught Audrey how to read! She's really freaked out because she knows what Heller is going to do. Mark picks that time not to say anything at the wrong time, and Audrey goes into meltdown mode when she realizes Mark knew the whole time. Mark insists that they keep this quiet, because it's what Heller wanted to do. Audrey tries to cry some more, but can't remember how.

6:55pm – Heller tells Jack that he gave him a pardon, so he can go back to the US any time he wants. Jack is about to point out that people might not believe Heller is in his right mind, going out to get blown up in a completely unguarded stadium. Chloe calls. She insists on describing how hard it is to decode all the data she's seeing, as Jack watches Heller walk out in to the middle of the soccer field. He takes off his disguise hat. And his glasses. Just to be sure he's recognized.

Margot and Ian watch on the drone cam, and realize Heller is really there. Margot insists on pulling the trigger on the drone missile, even though she's never played this game before, and fires the missile. Heller explodes. Soon, every soccer fan in England will be after Margot and Ian when they realize what happened to their stadium.

TIME'S UP!

NEXT TIME ON 24: DEAD PRESIDENT! MISSILES! DONES! THROWING PEOPLE OUT OF BUILDINGS! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!

A dozen snorks @ The Amazing Steve, And I liked your magic act, too!

Great work!

Outstanding, Amazing Steve! It almost sounds better than Master Chef!

Great job Amazing Steve! Somehow it all makes sense now. However, I still don't think the President is dead.

steve you're the filling in the donut plot holes

Give Amazing Steve a doughnut! Or donut!

The best part of being on the Left Coast and seeing 24 three hours later is reading Steve's Amazing Recap while the show is airing, and laughing my ass off.

=^D

C'mon cindy, how can he not be dead? He's a smeat of butter in the middle of the former Wembley Stadium turf.

RIP Another 24 President

For those of you coming in late or with Heller-ish issues:


Season Time U.S. President Actor/actress U.S. Vice President Actor/actress
1 No U.S. President mentioned
2 8:00 a.m. – 5:00 a.m. David Palmer Dennis Haysbert Jim Prescott Alan Dale
5:00 a.m. – 8:00 a.m. Jim Prescott Alan Dale Not mentioned
3 1:00 p.m. – 1:00 p.m. David Palmer Dennis Haysbert Not mentioned
4 7:00 a.m. – 12:00 a.m. John Keeler Geoff Pierson Charles Logan Gregory Itzin
12:00 a.m. – 7:00 a.m. Charles Logan Gregory Itzin Not mentioned
5 7:00 a.m. – 7:00 a.m. Hal Gardner Ray Wise
6 6:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. Wayne Palmer DB Woodside Noah Daniels Powers Boothe
5:00 p.m. – 6:00 a.m. Noah Daniels Powers Boothe Not mentioned
Redemption 3:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. Not mentioned
7 8:00 a.m. – 8:00 a.m. Allison Taylor Cherry Jones Mitchell Hayworth Cameron Daddo
8 4:00 p.m. – 4:00 p.m. Not mentioned
Live Another Day 11:00 a.m. – James Heller William Devane Not mentioned

i'm with cindy - maybe chloe sent a hologram - a hellergram - a candygram - i dunno . . . . . .

if he IS dead, jack's gonna be all MARGO EFF YOURSELF' !

Awesome stuff Amazing Steve!! Missed the first half but will re-watch it on repeats this Friday!

Great job AS. I thought Garfield was pres season 2 9:00 am to 9:15.

I have never watched an actual episode of 24, because I know it can never live up to the Amazing Steve's recap.

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