24

Here is where we stand:

Jack Bauer managed to save Simone (code name “Pinky Stump”) from her Evil Drone Mom, who tried to kill Simone with missiles in an excellent car chase that required Jack to requisition two civilian vehicles, whose owners will no doubt be fully reimbursed by the United States government for any collateral damage caused by missiles or getting punched in the face. Jack is now supposed to meet with President William Devane, who appears to be about to turn himself over to Margot in exchange for not wreaking any more special effects on downtown London.

The Russians still want Jack.

Navarro is still the mole and is doing mole things with that other guy. We frankly do not understand this part of the plot.

Agent Kate Morgan is still very capable.

Edgar is still dead.

We will be providing updates during tonight’s episode as plot developments develop. Stay tuned in the comments afterward for The Amazing Steve’s amazing recap.

In conclusion: Go Heat USA soccer team!

UPDATE: The Amazing Steve writes that "If you count the movie Redemption, tonight is the 200th hour of 24."

UPDATE: "These are more like Kaiser rolls than doughnuts." Ooooh, BURN.

UPDATE: Who the hell turns in doughnuts with NO FILLING??? 

UPDATE: ANOTHER drill?

UPDATE: President Devane is lucky Jack didn't deck him.

UPDATE: OK, with all due respect to the writers, why would Terror Mom care what anybody thinks, seeing as how she is a psychotic mass murderer?

UPDATE: "So wake the bitch up." Whoa.

UPDATE: This is really not Simone's day.

UPDATE: "We need a drill and a soldering iron STAT."

UPDATE: Mark of course can get the codes for Wembley Stadium. 

UPDATE: So is Audrey in charge of the government? Or what?

UPDATE: The Secret Service detail plugs right into Jack's phone.

UPDATE: HOLY CRAP JACK IS CUTTING OPEN THE PRESIDENT.

UPDATE: The president, like everybody else on this show, heals in seconds.

UPDATE: Right. It's easy for the president of the United Freaking States to walk away from all his security. Because they never think to cover... the back door!

UPDATE: "Geez, Jack! Do you always have to PUNCH everybody?"

UPDATE: Jack don't need no stinkin' pilot.

UPDATE: Jack don't need to get no clearance from no air-traffic-control authorities.

UPDATE: Errand boy strikes back!

UPDATE: Apparently the safety is off. 

UPDATE: It's just a gaping chest wound. He'll be fine.

UPDATE: TAC Team 7 is my favorite TAC Team.

UPDATE: Didn't Kate get stabbed in the leg like 90 minutes ago?

UPDATE: It's nice the way Terror Mom praises her son when he reactivates the drones.

UPDATE: Fortunately, a helicopter landing in Wembley Stadium would not draw any attention.

UPDATE: Is it just me, or does Audrey have weird nostrils?

UPDATE: This is some very fine overacting.

UPDATE: Seriously, something has been done to those nostrils.

UPDATE: "End of the road, Jack." WHO WRITES THIS STUFF?

UPDATE: Chloe has managed to resolve the data pack into three screens! BUT WE'RE OUT OF TIME!

UPDATE: And the president is tackled by Wayne Rooney!

UPDATE: I bet they're glad they got the Facial Recognition App for their drone.

UPDATE: HOLY CRAP SHE BLEW UP THE PRESIDENT!

UPDATE: Next week: PAYBACK. Take it, The Amazing Steve.

Comments

[tropichunt.com guy™]

BLEEP! BLOO...

Too early. Sorry.

[Dave]

Did you poop yourself, Andy?

[ligirl]

last we saw President Heller i think he was out in left field....
no, Really out in left field -

Take me out to the ball game
(don't take me out with a drone . . .)
Trust me - I'm Not nuts! I'm Not a Quack!
I don't know AnyBody named 'Jack'!
Please don't shoot, shoot, shoot
With a drone beam
( -what did you say: 'Ready : Aim . . . ??!)
For it's One,
Two,
Three -

ummm.....

(let's see : '1,2,3...')

oh, yeah -
- Strikes : I'm HIT !

- what the hell's my name??!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Amazing. We beat Ghana!?

Unheard of.

*drinks*

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Dave: Not yet. I'm saving that for tonight's World Drone Cup at Wembley!

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Holy smokes...these guys are serious donut critics.

[Homeybeef]

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[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Edgar could tackle these donuts.

[KJP]

Except they're in England where they call way out in left field the "cow corner". Not (exactly) kidding.

[ligirl]

next up: drone*nuts

[Jeff Meyerson]

Filled donuts with no filling?

WTFBBQ? That guy is toast (so to speak).

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Or Drone-nut holes.

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Maybe it's just me, but Cheerios Protein sounds like it should have steak bits in it.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

"24" would be perfect if they'd add more bacon to it.

And doughnuts.

And beer.

[ligirl]

we be dunkin drunken drone-nuts

[Trent]

These donuts....are making me thirsty!

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

I could watch Donut Chef every week.

[SigBauer]

/surmises there must b a cooking show as the lead in to 24.

//as he watches no other fox programming besides 24, this is news 2 him

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

The loser in the competition should have to eat all of the losing donuts.

[danceswithvowels]

The donuts have been advised, I guess.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

We need Jack to judge this show and stab the loser in the thigh.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Disappointing Donuts - not AGNFARB.

[ligirl]

d'oh!

[SigBauer]

Hey Steve, if we don't count Redemption, r we at 198 then?

[ligirl]

= doNOTs

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Ok, we'll see how this goes. I was on vacation at an undisclosed location last week, which made writing a little tougher. Back home tonight.

Let's do this!

[SigBauer]

@ Jeff

indeed.

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

@SigBauer yep

[Jeff Meyerson]

Kira - no soup for you!

[KJP]

Kira loses. Odo will be disappointed.

[SigBauer]

Thx.!

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

See ya after the show!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!

JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
J A C K B A U E R P O W E R H O U R !

(To "I'll Make A Man Out Of You" from "Mulan")

Margot Al-Harazi:
Let's get down to business
To defeat the Prez.
Did they send me Heller?
Did he wear a fez?

You're the saddest man I never met
But you can bet before I'm through
Mister, I'll make a hole out of you.

So you have Alzheimer's?
Things you can't recall.
Once you get to Wembley
You are sure to bawl.

You're a gutless, pale, elderly man
Who forgot to wear a shoe.
Can't wait to make a hole out of you!

Jack: You'll never get away with this!
Mark Boudreau: The Russians want Jack back, like fast.
Chloe: I should've opened sockets when Jack asked me.
Prime Minister Alastair Davies: Jack's got us to scared to piss.
Awwdrey: Hope Jack doesn't get in the blast!
Kate Morgan: Now I really wish for a Jack killing spree.

[Chorus:]
Be a hole!
We must aim fast as a flying missle
Be a hole!
With the force of a ton of C4
Be a hole!
With the sight of a guidance system!
(Here's a reference to Pink Floyd galore!)

Margot Al-Harazi:
Time is running out fast
'til the bomb arrives.
Heed my every command
And you won't survive.

You're ill-equipped for my hoard of drones
So shut up, stay put, you're through.
How can't I make a hole out of you?

[repeat Chorus x2]

Brought to you by: JackSack™ ("JackSack™ is all the man that anyone can or ever will be!") and ChloeSack™ ("Sometimes ChloeSack™ wishes she had a nice man at her side!")

LET'S GET READY TO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOMBLE!

This "24" intro was brought to you by "Mulan's Switcheroos". If someone thinks you're something you're not but you think you are, then you are likely what they think you are but really aren't!

[danceswithvowels]

Doughnut Perimeter Time!

[SigBauer]

naveed -- we still don't miss u ...

[Jeff Meyerson]

Protect you from my mother...by stabbing you in the stomach?

That's 24 logic.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

That little girl is still alive? Didn't anyone try to feed her one of Kira's doughnuts?

[danceswithvowels]

Simone can remove a bad doughnut, post-ingest.

[Gennita Low]

Did someone say doughnuts? Well, where are they?

[Pat F.]

At least Kira keeps all her ladyfingers.

[ligirl]

time to make the drone-nuts

[danceswithvowels]

Mark, no one gets what they want.

[Jeff Meyerson]

He must be senile if he thinks Margot's word is worth anything.

[Homeybeef]

So do we still miss Marwan?

[SigBauer]

sooooo, CIA/CTU medical ... in England -- wot culd go wrong?!

[Gennita Low]

Maybe Madam Terror Mom just wants to chop off Prez Forgetful's finger off.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

CTU/Hospital. Boy, our government thinks of new ways to extract info anyway they can get!

[Trent]

More drilling???

[SigBauer]

@ Homey

always and forever ...

[Jeff Meyerson]

Adreniline or something? I guess Mole Man flunked out of med school.

[Pat F.]

Maybe Awwdrey can eat the doughnuts?

[Loudmouth]

Destroy the drones?? Hahahahah.

[LeDud]

Forget the DONUTS ! FOCUS EVERYONE !

[BevfromNYC]

Sooo, why isn't there some kind of major panic in London? No traffic jams...nothing.

[Diva]

TWO contestants turned in fillingless donuts! What is this world coming to???

[funny man]

President OLdYeller I mean Heller decides to surrender.
Brilliant. WOrked so well before.

[SigBauer]

@ Le

we're weak -- let's just b honest ...
:-)

[Jeff Meyerson]

Ian likes playimg with the drones. He doesn't want Mummy to stop.

[danceswithvowels]

Maybe we murderers can keep our word! Maybe!

[Gennita Low]

That drone Nintendo box looks a lot like my old makeup case.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Come, get in the car. We'll discuss honor amongst terrorists while we're in the BK drive thru.

[Pat F.]

I bet Chloe makes kickass doughnuts.

[KJP]

Doctor is inducing a coma by replaying the Iran-Nigeria match.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

I think he figured out what he has done the moment he was shot.

[Pat F.]

By the way, the Black Dot of Doom is still down at the bottom of the page. Missing doughnut filling?

[funny man]

JAck Horner Bauer sitting in a corner?

[SigBauer]

@ KJP

no kiddin' ...

[Jeff Meyerson]

This guy looks like he's auditioning for a Klingon in the next Star Trek movie,

[danceswithvowels]

I see spilled doughnut filling. That's not going to sit well with the judges.

[Loudmouth]

Trailing the elusive geek on Wild Kingdom

[Cheesewiz]

Should have gotten the waterproof S 5

[Trent]

Maybe if he just soaks that wet cellphone in rice for the next hour...

[tropichunt.com guy™]

The cracked screen of doom!

[SigBauer]

@ Pat

but it's a no-calorie dot
[!!]

[Blogchik]

Scary mole music!

That sounds an awful lot like the bad guy music on Stargate SG-1.

[LeDud]

Jack .....Don't buy a whole life policy.....

[Gennita Low]

An Dead Drop That Didn't Drop Dead still might dead drop or drop dead, depending on the situation.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Jack: "This guy must be senile."

[tropichunt.com guy™]

He recorded it so that he'd remember it.

[Gennita Low]

So, in the middle of World Cup, something is happening at Wembley's Stadium. Anyone watching?

[Diva]

"The percentages are not in our favor."

Are we watching The Hunger Games now??

[nursecindy]

Considering London is such a big city there really isn't a lot of traffic or pedestrians around is there? I wouldn't believe Evil Mommy if she told me the sun was out at noon.

[LeDud]

DEAD HUSBAND: "Leave me out of this!"

[SigBauer]

so President Big Ask had a letter of reg. ready 2 go??!!

[Pat F.]

There's still time? Since when??

[Trent]

Ooohhhh! She'll be discredited!!!

[danceswithvowels]

We don't negotiate with cricketers, and especially not giving them the hundred up front!

[Gennita Low]

Trent, no, no, put the phone in a plastic bag with raw rice for 10 hours. Then call for help.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Liar! Hypocrite! You'll never make us follow you...um...just don't shoot us with drone missiles, ok?

[Jeff Meyerson]

The world will peg her as a liar and a hypocrite.

Hey doofus, she's a terrorist. You really think she cares?

[Cheesewiz]

That logic was the Alzheimer's talking.

[ligirl]

SURPRISE - we knew for 6 weeks

[Homeybeef]

He just remembered his Alzheimer's!

[KJP]

Bombing London won't discredit her, but lying about not doing it will?

[Jeff Meyerson]

The good thing is, a year from now he won't recognize Audrey.

[Javaguzzler]

Of course, Terrorist mom will attack again.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Mr. President, um, while I have your attention, can I get a full pardon? Before you get blown to bits?

[nursecindy]

The upside is he probably won't remember Audrey either!

[Blogchik]

May the odds be ever in your favor.

Except they're not...

[Trent]

Son??? Oh no! He thinks Jack and Audrey are.....NO!!!!!!