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June 02, 2014


Here izzzzzzz

Sorry! We nodded off there, thinking about last week's episode. Here is where we stand, to the best of our recollection:

Evil Game of Thrones Finger-Choppin’ Drone Mom lured the CIA into a building and used one of her drones to blow it up. Chloe found out about the trap, but we don’t know (at least I don’t know) if Ritter and Navarro got out of the building in time. Agent Kate Morgan continues to be an important character.

Jack had a reunion with Audrey but – this was definitely the low point of the season so far -- did not kill her.

Edgar, on the other hand, is still dead.

Be sure to check the comments after the show for the recap by The Amazing Steve.

UPDATE: Chef Ramsey just said, quote, "That is one of the worst meatloafs I have ever eaten."

UPDATE: "None of you did a meatloaf justice." 

UPDATE: "You absolutely humiliated a meatloaf."

UPDATE: If President Devane poops his pants, they're going to be suspicious.

UPDATE: "Jack wants her. Jack needs her. Jack gets her." Heheheheh.

UPDATE: I'm sorry, but if my mom recently had my finger chopped off, I'd be a little chilly.

UPDATE: Could Giant Chin's attractive blond secretary be the mole?

UPDATE: Plot twist! Jack has been working for the arms dealer!

UPDATE: "There is a very good chance we will both end up dead." Jack, you silver-tongued devil!

UPDATE: So Navid's sister is dead, right?

UPDATE: Has anything happened yet? 

UPDATE: Seriously, she is walking around chatting on the phone WITH HER FINGER CHOPPED OFF. If I had MY finger chopped off, that would be pretty much all I would talk about. If somebody said to me, for example, "Please pass the ketchup," I would be all "OHMIGOD I HAD MY FINGER CHOPPED OFF!!!"

UPDATE: Thank God for the totally invisible earpiece, huh?

UPDATE: UH-oh. Power tools.

UPDATE: Computer screens on TV never look like computer screens in real life.

UPDATE: The Brits screw up EVERYTHING.

UPDATE: Agent Kate! Thighs of Doom AND a reverse stab! We love Agent Kate very much.

UPDATE: Jack Bauer, with the most dramatic keystroke ever.


UPDATE: Next week, Jack protects whatsherhame from her Evil Finger Choppin' Mom, who HAS A VISUAL!

Take it away, The Amazing Steve.


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But what about President Heller?

(he can get his own blog.)

President Heller can make you a smokin' deal on a reverse mortgage.

Which character is going to mention Kate's husband this week? Maybe Awwdrey.

Dave! I am here! I am not a sphere!

"Scientists say human teleportation is 'possible' as they transfer atoms three metres in groundbreaking experiment."


Big deal, Daily Mail. Jack Bauer was beaming himself around LA for years before your boffins stepped up to the plate... ;)


OK, ready for action.

hahaha....whoa. I look different in the mirror.

Reporting for duty. Barely. Humor will be slightly off.

I am going to try to watch this dreck tonight. Shoot something, dammit.

We need a "roll call". So I'll start.

"Homestyle, Bagel, Hot Cross, Buttermilk, ..."

I just saw that, Dave. I was NOT expecting them to diss that meatloaf!

Gordon Ramsey is about one iota nicer than Mom chopping off her daughter's finger.

I miss Chef Ramsey dropping F-bombs. He is way too nice on this show.

Also, damn you, Dave. I clicked. I CLICKED!!!! *sobs*

Welcome, Andy TTHG!

Jack Bauer is about to shoot a meatloaf in its thigh.


J A C K B A U E R P O W E R H O U R !

(To "A Whole New World" from "Aladdin")

Margot Al-Harazi:
I can blow up the world
Rockets, explosions, stunning
Tell me, Bauer, just when did
You think you could ruin my plans?

I can shoot from up high
With your drone planes and missles
Hurting, killing and maiming
With lots of targeting scans

My whole new world
All my extremist points of view
No one can tell me no or where to go
Or say I'm only dreaming...

Your whole new world
A freakish place you'll never know
Because I'm still alive, I'll still deprive
That thought you're in a whole new world aglow

Margot Al-Harazi:
(Now I'll make the whole new world aglow)

Unbelievable nights
Indescribable healing
Stabbing, shooting, killing
Through endless seas of low lifes

Your whole new world

Margot Al-Harazi: (Don't you dare stab my thighs)
Jack: A hundred thousand lives to save
Margot Al-Harazi: (Hold your breath, you'll get deader)

I'd like to shoot your heart
Take you apart
So that you can't
Visit your husband's grave

Margot Al-Harazi: My whole new world
Jack: Each chance I'll surprise
Margot Al-Harazi: With new objectives to follow
Jack: With each step I get closer

I'll chase you everywhere
No time to spare
Let me change this whole new world for you

Margot Al-Harazi: My whole new world
Jack: You're whole new world
Margot Al-Harazi: That's where I'll be
Jack: That's where you're wrong
Margot Al-Harazi: A killing place
Jack: I'll shoot your face
Both: Just wait and see...

Brought to you by: JackSack™ ("JackSack™ was made out of a magic carpet' that's why it holds so much stuff!") and ChloeSack™ ("ChloeSack™ will ride JackSack™'s carpet anyday!")


This "24" intro was brought to you by Genie's Magical Emporium and Stuff. If we don't got it, just rub the lamp and ask! But, please, be as specific as possible...the last guy...he's not in good shape.

I've got a beer perimeter set up. ..

The Viewers Have Been Advised!

Is he good to you?


...And the first friggin' thing they show when recapping last night's action is Awwwdrey bawling.


Not starting off well with Audrey....

Present and accounted for sir.

Not Awwwdrey already! Noooooooooooo.

On the other hand, they did give us a viewer discretion warning...

Ian wastched over his shoulder and presto! He knows how to fly the drones.

So did anybody let the wrongly-accused drone pilot out of the brig yet? Just wondering...

wastched? Drinking already Jeff?


The proxies have vomited an IP address! Run for your lives!

Oh yeah... There were explosions last week

Whisper to me Jack

Darn - stupid Steve survived.


Did they get some more CTU guys?

Argh, Dave! Why did you make me click? Argh, my cousin Barry Mani Low.

Why couldn't Lady Finger Chopping Stark demand Audrey instead?

How many agents did we lose?

All the ones with red shirts,

Actually, I have decided I *gulp* like Awwwdrey this season. Don't shoot me in the thigh.

How is it the guy without the helmet is the only one who didn't get hurt? Did the president just say they have earwax?

PM Jeeves looks like he smells something awful...

Ah, the forgery of the Presidential order: "The bearer has done what he has done for the good of France..."

Can Prime Minister Fry call in Top Gear for assistance?

President Awwwdrey's Dad sounds like he's got a bad cold.

So Stephen Fry set up this whole thing to get the info on the drones?

...You'd think Prime Minister Mycroft Holmes would be a little ticked about all the rogue CIA hit teams running around his country kicking in doors as well as all the rogue drones.

Just sayin'.

...Oh wait: NOW you're going to start coordinating with the Brits. Jolly good...

Jeeves went for more tea.


time to unleash Jack on all of them!

Do not piss off Stephen Fry. You saw what happened when you killed his favorite pigeon. Imagine if you kill London.

"Anything you want me to do?"

YES! Exit, stage right, please.

I don't think he ever had any wits...if you asked me.

AHAHAHAHA! Prez Witless.

Not only doesn't he have his wits about him, Jeeves, but Audrey is his daughter,

Poor bastard.

PM Jeeves is surprised that Heller can tell his arse from the soil on the ground.

"I'm trusting a man ... who hasn't got his wits about him?"

But enough about your local Congressperson....

president Buy Silver sounds congested

That should have gone like this:

"Mr. Heller? President Bauer is here."

Someone is the "Only chance we've got!" NOOOO!

That was the coolest way of asking for permission to shoot someone in the thigh that I've ever seen.

Jack...shoot the pres. Your country needs thie!

Why is Navarro playing soldier man?

Bertie Wooster used to hang at his club in London called "The Drones."

Jack's in charge. About damn time!

Those pills are looking mighty good for dealing with this plot. ..

Ritter can hear suprisingly well for a guy who was standing right next to an exploding 500-pound bomb without hearing protection, no?

I want Kate Morgan.

Jack wants her, Jack needs her, Jack gets her,

He sounds sane to me.

"You will give Jack Bauer whatever he needs..."

That went over well. How about some beer?

"Jack gets her"....nudge...nudge...wink...wink

Give Jack whatever he needs! Finally, a great President!!!




Never has there been more romantic words.

"Jack wants her, Jack needs her, Jack gets her!" Damn right.

"Field Investigation Kit?" Is that to help Heller finding his hole in the ground?

"What? Jack wants me?"

*Kate preens*

Say no more, say no more.

Ooooh, Drone Brother hates Drone Sister.

maybe jack will decide he *doesn't* want the weepy, whiny one now?

'Jack wants her jack needs her jack GETS HER', dammit!


... Jack needs her, Jack gets her! ! Woo-hoo!

Don't second guess a finger chopper!

Hmmm. Not only are they using spare cast members from Game of Thrones, they seem to be using spare furniture from that show, too...

Bitchenstein lives.

"You always DID like her best!!"

So, this Kate ... is she a, uh, goer?

Careful! It's hard to fly drones when you're missing fingers, bro...


How can one person fly 5 drones at the same time?

Crazy mom really needs to look into some anger management classes or a hobby. Maybe she should take up knitting. That usually calms my nerves.

Drone Sister has secrets, but I can't put her finger on it...

"Think what you have sacrificed... your finger, your husband."

soooo, mommy doesn't play favorites at least? she harms both children physically?

Cheesewiz? Practice, practice, practice.

"...what needs to be done." YEAH SHOOT the Bietchen MOM.

Damn, you can't count on this drone family.

Wonder if the sister will be wearing the proverbial red shirt...

WTFBBQ is going on with this Sprint ad? Because it is tres bad.

Snork @ Jeff.

"find out what she knows" Well, Simone, not willing to disobey and lose digits, says okay.

"Hi, I know we've got this super secret plan and all, but I'm going to lay it all out on this voicemail that's being recorded by a major telecommunications company. Because I'm good at secret stuff." Frankly, the sister DESERVES to die.

That makes me wonder just exactly what Mom has sacrificed.

Cheesewiz, easy, he can't count :).

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