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May 05, 2014

24

Here is where we stand:

Four years after killing (he had NO CHOICE, DAMMIT) approximately two-thirds of the population of North America, Jack Bauer is a rogue fugitive on the run in London, which is about to be visited by United States President William Devane, who is the target of an assassination plot and is also the father of Audrey, who we assume has pictures of the writers naked with an underage sheep, because there is no other explanation for why she keeps showing up in the plot.

Chloe, who has also gone rogue, is working for some kind of outlaw hacker group.

We don't know this for a fact, but we assume some evil villains are planning to perpetrate some kind of horrendous horror.

Edgar is still dead.

We'll be updating this post during the show as developments develop. After tonight's two-hour episode ends, The Amazing Steve will recap the plot in the comments; he says he'll have a post on the first hour right after the show, and a post on the second hour a little later.

UPDATE: Jack is now an African American! No, wait, that's somebody else.

UPDATE: All the women in the CIA are really hot.

UPDATE: Aparently they are very strict about homelessness in London.

UPDATE: The hoodie!

UPDATE: Beware the Hoodie of Doom.

UPDATE: They now have Jack in captivity, which is EXACTLY WHERE HE WANTS THEM.

UPDATE: President William Devane is uncomfortable with the drones.

UPDATE: We of course already distrust this smarmy douchebag.

UPDATE: "He's up to something." Ha.

UPDATE: Jack Bauer is also currently doing the samba on Dancing With The Stars. 

UPDATE: The hot blonde is already in love with Jack, and WHO CAN BLAME HER?

UPDATE: Jack is like, "Oh no! Please don't put me in handcuffs!"

UPDATE: OK, I am already lost with this Kate-and-Adam subplot.

UPDATE: "Special activities" sounds like they're going to make lanyards.

UPDATE: Jack has no lines in this. His bare chest does the talking.

UPDATE: They're doing Special Activities on Chloe!

UPDATE: Jack won the samba. There are a lot of wounded.

UPDATE: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO she's back, and of course she's married to the smarmy douchebag.

UPDATE: "Jack. Can I call you Jack?" Seriously? Somebody wrote that?

UPDATE: That was a major Glance Exchange, between Jack and the H.B.

UPDATE: Kate went rogue!

UPDATE: Nobody on this show EVER believes the obviously correct underling. 

UPDATE: How did they get Jack's shirt back on, with the handcuffs?

UPDATE: WHOA! KATE!

UPDATE: "You were really something Bauer, back in the day." THIS IS THE DAY, BUDDY.

UPDATE: He speaks!

UPDATE: "Nothing you haven't done." A low blow. Followed by a low blow.

UPDATE: Wasn't that in Pulp Fiction?

UPDATE: Jack didn't kill ANYBODY. He's getting soft.

UPDATE: Jack shot at Kate! It's like foreplay.

UPDATE: She can't say DROP YOUR WEAPON! That's what Jack says!

UPDATE: Always good to have a colleague nearby with an air-to-ground missile.

UPDATE: We're at war with the British?

UPDATE: PERIMETER!!!

UPDATE: The chief of staff is up his ass?

UPDATE: Chloe has several new chins.

UPDATE: "I don't have any friends." Aw, Jack. You need to stop killing them.

UPDATE: Drone subplot! Do we know the guy who said "It's done"?

UPDATE: Do we think they're going to start the second hour by recapping the first hour?

UPDATE: We BET you have your own procedures.

UPDATE: Kate has a man on the outside.

UPDATE: Chloe is living in Graffiti Kingdom with a creep.

UPDATE: "That's impossible." "Not for him."

UPDATE: Jack is not going to ask a third time.

UPDATE: "We're doing lots of backtracing, we may need some piggyback servers." We love it when Chloe talks dirty.

UPDATE: That woman has very dark roots.

UPDATE: It's the Drone Control Gang! And they're on shed-yule!

UPDATE: The Drone Control Gang has... a device!

UPDATE: The prime minister's jaw is the size of Montana.

UPDATE: Seriously, cattle could graze on that thing.

UPDATE: The Wooden Dialogue Generator is cranking away here.

UPDATE: Chloe can sulk and type at the same time.

UPDATE: Jack and Chloe, working together again. Aw.

UPDATE: Why are they wearing their overcoats indoors?

UPDATE: It's all gonna go down in West Ealing. 

UPDATE: Military justice moves VERY fast.

UPDATE: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz Let's go to West Ealing.

UPDATE: Can Chloe cut off that camera? Does a bear poop in the woods?

UPDATE: Is this Jack's first hanging?

UPDATE: "No offense, Mick."

UPDATE: Those guys were seriously outnumbered by Jack.

UPDATE: Jack, once again, gets shot by our side, which lets the real bad guy go. Way to go, our side!

UPDATE: It's been several minutes, so Jack has recovered from being shot.

UPDATE: Jack punches Kate. This is LOVE.

UPDATE: SCHEMATICS! A MULTI-CHANNEL OVERRIDE SYSTEM!! 

UPDATE: DAMMIT!!!!!

UPDATE: OK, so for now, the plot is about a Device.

UPDATE: Do we think Dark Roots is an agent?

UPDATE: She IS!

UPDATE: "Mummy's waiting."

UPDATE: Next week: More shooting. Take it, The Amazing Steve.

UPDATE THE NEXT DAY: Don't miss The Amazing Steve's recap, which is... I am searching for a word here... amazing. Here's his secret:

Photo

Comments

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Here's JACK!!! Just like Nicholson...ha ha

I have never seen Chloe truly submissive. I am more disturbed than I have ever been.

Start shooting them in their thighs to find Yates, Jack!

SHOT HIM!!

Which one is Longfellow, then?

...and who took my quarters off the pinball machine?!?!?"

Where the hell are all my posts going?

Tranquila, Sioxie. Not yet!

I'm not used to shooting people in the thigh. I'm sensitive.

GO Chloe!!

Ta DA! Chloe emerges ... she just can't help being Chloe!

President Heller...rhyhmes with,.. "Old Yeller"

Some how if I was running a secret drug lab, I wouldn't be playing loud rap music to draw attention to me.

Wow, Chloe is sooo authoritative! Black eyeliner can really toughen a girl up.

So is Chloe's kid with Morris somewhere?

Tony!

Ooooh, filler sexy scene!

Dave, something funky is happening a whole bunch of my posts are being swallowed whole by the Blog. :(

Oh, SHE'S got a friendly accent...

Nice skirt...Is beink Russian spy viss bad accent

Oh don't you just love the generic Russian accent?

Russian Bimbo is Bimbo.

So who is the evil lady master mind? I'm not sure if she has a bad English accent or a bad Russian accident.

chedule??

Just some Russian floozy

Everything is on shed-yool.

@ AA

just wait -- the accent will change anyway
[!]

Natasha is doing good for herself after severing ties with Boris Badanov.

Hey...is that MRS. MARWAN???

Dave, my posts are going AWOL as I post them for some reason. Can you help?

We're on page 5 at the 75 minute point. We should do 10 easy tonight. Not as good as the old days when we did 10 in an hour show, but a good start.

...Now the Doctor will swoop down in his blue box--
What? It's London, innit?

The mastermind looks like the president from 4 years ago.

So Is the bad guy Nick Gillespie or Lou Reed (RIP)?

oh pleeeeease stop this gigantic gigantic gigantic gigantic commercial. it's on 20 times an HOUR.

p.s. if any man tried to send one of you ladies to another room, what would YOU do?

*forms perimeter around Diva*

Couldn't tell if that was a commercial for Viagra or a cellphone...

@ JT

she's, um, dead, remember?
:-(

I'm seeing some, at least, Diva.

I am looking forward to Dave amd Amazing Steve's posts.

And I think we can all agree that 24 is a dark or
perhaps dork comedy???

THERe IS A SALE AT VICTORIA'S SECRET!

Victoria's Secret Carrrrne Asada!

trop's nite is complete ...

*shoots Typepad in the thigh* Hang on, Diva!

So is Chris going to change sides and help Jack now?

We've identified the bad guy, the real bad guy, and the real, real bad guy. Now we just have to find the next two levels of "bad guy" before we get to the possible really-truly bad guy. Who is probably a girl. Who is married to the superdy-really-truly bad guy.

Diva...hit 'reload'

Blogchik, innit!

So some Brit is hacking a drone to kill the President Who Forgets and Jack Bauer is on it, is that the plot?

dances, about every third post actually comes up. :(

Maybe you're only allowed to post once a minute?

"Every hero has a dark side." Not Captain America...

We have an attitude problem here...

miss isles?

He got a lawyer pretty darn quick.

Looks like a 24-spinoff : GANG RELATED...

Tropic? I'm thinkin' he's still not getting that weekend pass.

Weekend passes are serious business

4 people are dead; ergo you're a murderer.

Siouxie, that's DR. Isles. And her name is Maura.

Fry!!!!!!!!!

Oh, wow, Stephen Fry. Is Hugh Laurie going to stop by?

Stephen Fry!!!!!

Audrey has a staff? *gag*

Fry. Allister Fry.

STEPHEN FRYYYYY

Ok, I now worship Steven Fry even more. However, quite certain I can't see General Melchett as PM.

Yay!! Extra points to Stephen Fry for sticking it to the Sultan of Brunei.

Drone. Yawn.

Hi, Stephen Fry!

Oh, this is not gonna end well....

@ Sioux

the least desired job in d.c.
[!]

Yup...Mr. PM, one of the Roosevelts or somebody shot something somewhere....

uh-oh president forgetfulness...

Rut-roh! Scary violins and drums!

Who mentioned war with the British earlier?

Then, Jack jumps into the TARDIS where he and Chloe arrive in 1999...sorry wrong show,,,,

The President forgot what he was going to tell the prime minister. That's what the dramatic music was for.

Maybe our politics would be more palpable when the wonks have a dramatic cello in the background.

Four whole people dead? Jack coughs that up for breakfast.

"Reacquire" Bauer???

You don't get to judge me Jack! Not after everything I've done for you.

Yes you have done a lot for Jack, Chloe.

High fives MareBear for the Blackadder reference!

@sigBauer--nope, couldn't remember she was dead. It's hard to keep track...I just remember that Dennis Hopper is definitely dead because Jack shot him about sixty times in the first season, and then he really DID die. :)

president who's-on-first....

There are a lot of good thighs in this room to shoot, Jack.

Now there's the sneering and surly Chloe face I've grown to love.

Their server farm would have more storage, but they blew too much of their budget on spray paint.

Bitchy Chloe. I love her.

jack, are those shifty eyes trying to indicate an emotion?

Oooh, Chloe is with Wikileaks and Snowden!

@ JT

2nd best '24' villian evah?
:-)

And eyeliner, Sharkie.

Don't saw Awwdrey's name three times in a row in a scene! They'll cut to another scene with her!

There's no going back for Jack.

is that harry potter ?

Next time I want to make a point, I'll highjack a drone.

Telling people not to judge you doesn't really work, Chloe.

Oh, wait...Marwan's dead. And Edgar, of course, is still dead.

Tropic, it's like saying, "Bloody Mary" into a mirror three times.

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