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March 26, 2014

THIS NEVER FAILS

Man burned down home to impress woman

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

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that's what happens when you hookup on match.com

Brilliant, dude.

Committing arson to impress women as well as burglary to buy drugs were topics covered in primary school Civics class. May have been gym class and chemistry, a lot of the better students didn't pay attention.

At least he din't use a wood chipper ... That'd've been excessive ...

I knew a man Bohjanen and he fancied you
As he poured out booze
With silver tongue and ragged sheet, he took his chance
He burned for you
Flames jumped so high, jumped so high
When the farmhouse burned down

Mr. Bohjanen ....
Mr. Bohjanen ....
Mr. Bohjanen .... did you get in her pants?

Pyromantic?

But this is how I always impress the womenfolk. Along with informing than that, yes, those pants do make their butts look big.

Just another talking head.

*holds up a match for meanie*


. . . ah, what the hell . . .

*flicks it at him*

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire.

See, See, guns don't cause crime, idiots impressing women do.

Well in his defense, I imagine those North Dakota nights can be awfully long and lonely.

But, n'cin', those of us who happen to be well-adjusted have lernt how to cope ... merely sayin' ...

And here we thought drinking too much and throwing up in the parking lot was what impressed them.

Bein' able to throw up into the parkin' lot frum INSIDE the car is whut impresses 'em, Clank' ...

Snork @ Loudmouth

Anybody got a light?

I think Meanie's on fire.

I'm riding in your car.
You turn on the radio.
You try to hold me close.
I tell you no.
You say that you'll impress me.
I call you a liar.

Ooh Ooh Ooh....FIRE!

Apologies to Bruce Springsteen and The Pointer Sisters

Sounds like they double dog dared him

Didn't Lisa Lopez do this with Andre Rison?

I'm surprised he managed to not set them all on fire. What an Ultramaroon.

Their love burns with a passion no barn can contain.

Look, truthfully, who hasn't done this? What?

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