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February 27, 2014


The Nordic Society for Invention and Discovery is the brains behind “No More Woof” -- technology that aims to distinguish canine thought patterns and then issue them as short sentences via a microphone.

(Thanks to Janice Gelb and Rick Day)


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Whadda ya mean what thoughts?


I expect the classic Far Side cartoon will be proved correct.


My name is Dug. I have just met you, and I love you.

My master made me this collar. He is a good and smart master and he made me this collar so that I may speak. Squirrel!

Hey would you - cuerdo con tigo - I use that collar - watashi wa hanashi ma - to talk with. I would be happy if you stop.

jimmy fallon's joke last night: "where are my testicles?"

and of course "may i smell your backside?"

Gary Larson already did this.

I believe Canine Thought Patterns opened for Bieber on his Total Maroon tour.

Check out so called "Doge Memes":
They explain whad dog would say.

Bacon !

"The Dog Scientists were astonished to find that dogs had 73,847 different words describing smells."

A. A man in a rumpled blue shirt is asleep on the couch. It's time I walked across the hardwood floor and back.
*Tick tick tick tick tick*
B. Now it's time I groomed my personal regions.
*Lick lick lick lick lick*
Return to A and start over til Blue Shirt Man gets a column out of it.

Geez, even a dog knows a microphone is not a loudspeaker.

Sorry...I left out the part about head-bonking-against-the-door.
(Never was great at foreign languages)

Parlez-vous a humma-humma baby?

Dogs, thoughts:

Turn in circles, lie down.
Sniff Butt!
Mommy home! Mommy home! (mommy goes to mailbox, takes 3 minutes, comes right back) Mommy home!

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