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February 25, 2014


A man who escaped from DeSoto police custody is now in jail after calling 911 to complain his handcuffs were too tight.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Mark Buckley)


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That's why it is a good idea to carry a handcuff key. Other good reasons, too, which might or might not involve being arrested.

Whats the matter with him? He doesn't have a friend with a hacksaw?

"Uh, officer? Could you meet me on the corner with your handcuff key? Why? No reason."

Apparently the "...equipment failure..." didn't include the too tight cuffs - though it doesn't go on to say what was the failure.

He was able to call 911 though.

questions, questions, questoins

... only want to know in case of NMUA's #2 above ...

"Why, yes, sir. I'd be more than glad to meet you on the corner."
There, Jeff, you neglected to give the response.

"If you could hurry, I'd like to get these things off so I can go to my Mensa meeting."

"Don't tease me, bro!"

Officer, my pants are too tight. Send help. And Twinkies.

♫ There's Dyonta Rose of Texas who's tryin' to be free
Thought nobody would miss him, so then he tried to flee
He cried because his handcuffs he couldn't break apart
Poor Dyonta Rose of Texas: FAIL! you just ain't very smart!

A little known fact is that many public library reference desks have handcuff keys. If you have a library card, you can check one out or you can use it on site.

It's very sad, because

1)he looks like a young Bill Cosby
2)he could be a tand up comedian, if not for his alleged drug usage
3)the officers could have used those plastic ties,
which often not only are tight, but often have a "bite"

and as people have said, about the key, "never leave home without one."

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