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February 26, 2014

'MY FASHION STATEMENT IS A LITTLE EDGY'

Brooklyn’s hipster beard craze has grown so popular that men in New York are rushing to doctors for “facial hair transplants” — surgery that helps make beards look thicker and less patchy, sources said.

(Thanks to DaninTustin)

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The favored style is — a lumberjack-meets-roadie hybrid —

So ... "I'm a Roadie* and that's OK!"

*With all that implies ... um ... remember the old joke? Um ... nevermind ...

Next question: Why is your beard so curly?

A 39-year-old New Yorker who works in catering industry got a beard transplant to make him feel younger
One happy patient is Danny, 27, whose beard used to be so patchy, he was forced to “fill it in” with an eyebrow pencil, he said. “I have a baby face but now I’m able to look older. My fashion statement is a little edgy, and I do like the ‘rugged look.”

He was forced to use an eyebrow pencil?! By whom?

In summary: pay $8500 to feel younger, look older, be poorer, but hairier and happier.

Like, ZOINKS! Who knew, Scoob'?

I am a hipster, a hairy wannabe
I’ll spend big money, if you’ll implant me
I am younger .. no, older
I’ll pay big money to feel bolder
I am a hybrid guy.

Holy Mother of Chaos! Really? Just .... /really?/
How many of these "Hipsters" have dates? Oh yeah; they can't afford to date now. Good thing they're out of the gene pool.
I have traumatic flashbacks of crumbs, runny noses and things I couldn't identify being trapped in a man's facial hair; not to mention said hair creeping up MY nose when I kissed it.

"Filed under Brooklyn, Hipsters, Plastic Surgery, Transplants" -- you forgot Vanity, Idiocy, Shut-Up-And-Take-My-Money.

If you haven't seen it before you need to check out the classic Brooklyn website, diehipster.com, on top of all hidesous hipsterisms (including this story of course).

Oh, by the way, a lot of the Brooklyn hipster transplants (if not all of them) are parentally funded wannabes (wannabe artist, wannabe writer, wannabe assistant to the assitant PA) from the Midwest whose Mommys and Daddys are willing to find them to stay out of Flyoverland and drive up the rents in New York.

This is actually almost 180­­° away from being a 'hippie freak.' As I recall dimly, our ideal was to be as natural as we could within the constraints of society. If you had to 'drop out' and go live on a farm in order to be yourself, you were weak. We faced society with patchy beards and scraggly hair and huge grins; here we are warts and all, not caring what you think.
Being young and free is no time to worry about what other people think.

"...I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time deciding,” he said." A hairy plodder?

So, basically, he just moved the patchiness from his face to his head?

He wants to be a lumberjack?

I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing,
And hang around in bars.

And what's the next trend... Dude label bathrobes...?

Jeff - roadie-jack

His and Hares Hairs

Well, back to the old drawing board ..

$8500?!? Stick with the tried-and-true sideburn comb-over.

Hair today, goon tomorrow.

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