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Man faces charges for allegedly setting girlfriend’s pants on fire
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
Be advised that this blog is not making fun of the suspect's name.
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Liar, Liar...
Posted by: MikeyVA | January 31, 2014 at 03:48 PM
What Mikey said.
Posted by: Allen at Division | January 31, 2014 at 03:53 PM
The blog may not but I will. "Shadow Parsley" sounds like something a Veggie-Tales private eye would do or an NSA cafeteria garnish. I'm guessing his dad's name was Elvis and he was perpetuating the cycle of abuse. Or maybe his name was originally Stevens and he changed it because he was harassed as a child.
Posted by: PG13 Wodehouse | January 31, 2014 at 04:06 PM
Most young men that age are lighting their own pants on fire.
Posted by: Gargoyle Socks | January 31, 2014 at 04:11 PM
To pay her medical costs, they're going to garnish his wages.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 31, 2014 at 04:29 PM
Her old flame still had the hots for her. He thought it was a match made in heaven.
Posted by: Loudmouth | January 31, 2014 at 04:35 PM
You know that it would be untrue,
You know that I would be a liar,
If I was to say to you,
I didn't set your pants on fire.
Posted by: Omniskeptic | January 31, 2014 at 05:02 PM
Mikey beat me to it too.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | January 31, 2014 at 05:09 PM
Shadow Parsley sounds like a some very unusual super hero from Marvell Comics.
Posted by: loko | January 31, 2014 at 06:13 PM
The term "hot pants" you make me dance you put me in a trance went out in the 70's didn't it?
Posted by: Theresa | January 31, 2014 at 06:54 PM
I am not laughing at Shadow Parsley's moniker. I uh simply uh drank some tea the wrong way and started coughing hysterically. I would never violate the blog policy. And besides, it's really a perfectly respectable name.
Posted by: Elon | January 31, 2014 at 07:20 PM
Only the Shadow knows what happened.
Posted by: poker | January 31, 2014 at 10:46 PM
Cuz' my back stage boogie set your pants on fire?
Posted by: Not Steven Tyler | February 01, 2014 at 08:03 PM
I'm guessing that the headline correction in tomorrow's edition will read "setting ex-girlfriend's pants on fire".
Posted by: PirateBoy | February 01, 2014 at 08:04 PM
Isn't Shadow Parsley another name for kale?
Posted by: Omniskeptic | February 02, 2014 at 02:40 PM
Was she wearing the pants at the time? Or were they hanging in the closet?
Posted by: RobinGoodfellow | February 02, 2014 at 06:27 PM