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January 31, 2014


Man faces charges for allegedly setting girlfriend’s pants on fire

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Be advised that this blog is not making fun of the suspect's name.


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Liar, Liar...

What Mikey said.

The blog may not but I will. "Shadow Parsley" sounds like something a Veggie-Tales private eye would do or an NSA cafeteria garnish. I'm guessing his dad's name was Elvis and he was perpetuating the cycle of abuse. Or maybe his name was originally Stevens and he changed it because he was harassed as a child.

Most young men that age are lighting their own pants on fire.

To pay her medical costs, they're going to garnish his wages.

Her old flame still had the hots for her. He thought it was a match made in heaven.

You know that it would be untrue,
You know that I would be a liar,
If I was to say to you,
I didn't set your pants on fire.

Mikey beat me to it too.

Shadow Parsley sounds like a some very unusual super hero from Marvell Comics.

The term "hot pants" you make me dance you put me in a trance went out in the 70's didn't it?

I am not laughing at Shadow Parsley's moniker. I uh simply uh drank some tea the wrong way and started coughing hysterically. I would never violate the blog policy. And besides, it's really a perfectly respectable name.

Only the Shadow knows what happened.

Cuz' my back stage boogie set your pants on fire?

I'm guessing that the headline correction in tomorrow's edition will read "setting ex-girlfriend's pants on fire".

Isn't Shadow Parsley another name for kale?

Was she wearing the pants at the time? Or were they hanging in the closet?

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