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January 31, 2014


Man tries to rob Penn. Hallmark store with death threat written on card

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)


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I'm really glad he didn't write the message in the Mother's Day card for his Mom.

Talk about an awkward meal...

Shouldn't that logo read "Loser!" ... ?

When you care enough to rob the very best.

Someone doesn't understand the concept.

I wonder...did he have a gub?

He spent all morning writing "Kindly place all the money in the bag, and no one shall be injured." in calligraphy.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Put Money in the Bag or I'll Kill You.

I understand those "Maxine" cards can be pretty sassy. Maybe the cashier just didn't understand that brand of humor.

Cards like this
Are tons of fun
I only wish
That I owned a gun.

Roses are great,
violets are tops,
I hit the alarm
and here come the cops.

Hearts and flowers, ribbon, and lace.
It's time for a stick-up funny face!

Robbers are read,
By someone like you.
Hallmark has green,
So gimme some, too.

I think that I shall never see
A crime so bold,
Performed by me.

Please fill this bag,
I've got to run.
If you trip the alarm,
It won't be fun.

Robbers are red,
Violence is blue,
When cops show up,
And bust me in two.

HEY, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here's my Ruger,
Mo' cash now, baby!

What ever became of the law which permitted all Hallmark cashiers to keep a loaded gun in the cockpit.

Gimme all your Gold Seals!

Hallmark makes cards
For the caring and sociable
But me and my piece here
Want something negotiable

A true Hallmook moment.

Then they robbed him. That damned card was $5.

Nice grubby beard...

When you care enough to send the hairy beast.

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