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January 30, 2014


Man somehow survives going through wood chipper

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)


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Yah, we were purty surprised ta see him come out da udder end. Dat's some pretty lucky fella dere.

Yah, yu betcha ... dat's a heckuva deal, fer shure ...

I hope they axed the moron who turned it back on.

Talk about an arce chewing!

Go on and take the rest of the day off.

My day was a lot better than a wood chipper. Just how did that machine turn back on anyway? Was it a mystery.

I hope they're getting their money back on that chipper. Jeez. As my butcher once said about a consumer grade meat grinder, "You can't grind sh*t with that."

"Hey guys, could I get a hand with this chipper?.... Never mind, there's already one in there."

"How was your day, dear?"

"Oh, you know, the same old grind..."

"...so you were board today ?"

'How are you feeling?', his wife asked.
'Chipper', he replied...

Mighty nice of the employer to pay the worker comp claim.

I wondered why some devices have a padlock on the off switch

Is this worse than divorce...?

It's his Lucky Day. He should play lotto...

Off topic:

Flatulent cows cause barn explosion


There's an OSHA-required solution to that.

This never wood have happened if he had followed instructions.

Woodchippers always remind me of the best movie as a snowglobe.

Ma'm, first of all, you've got a snow globe in your carry-on, and second, there's a gun in it.

But ... the person in the Snow Globe who's HOLDING the "gun" is a LEO (not "Leo") ... so it's OK ...

Will they tell him who turned the chipper back on?
Or will he have to find out by process of elimination?
Stay tuned for the next installment.

BTW, the Pdy and OtU, your attempt at a Minnesota accent is both terrible and misplaced. The guy was in Washington (state). Geez, don't cha ya know your geogriphy.

And its yoo betcha.

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