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December 18, 2013

WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

Warner Bros. is developing a feature length film version of the 1960s TV series, “Gilligan’s Island”

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

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So many "Little Buddy" jokes, so little time.

It'll last more than 3 hours

So many "vast wasteland" jokes, so little time.

so many lost minnow jokes

'It’s not clear if Gad would play the part of the titular, goofy first mate or The Skipper'

hmm . . . i thought ginger & marianne were the titular ones

He means "eponymous". You know, that guy who slew the Gorgon or something. Or maybe he wrote "Eponymous Rex"? Anyway ...

Should be a law that if you make a movie based on a TV series, you have to give everyone in the theater a remote control so they can see what's playing on the other screens. The reason something was a TV series is that it wasn't a good enough idea to be a movie in the first place.

Let's see... Keanu or Depp, Depp or Keanu... which Gilligan could screw this up worse?

I had two general thoughts about that show:
1. They haven't killed Gilligan, yet?
2. And some pretty specific imaginary happenings with Marianne.
Both thoughts repeated at regular intervals.

I thought the Skipper ate Gilligan.

I see lots of TV actors, past and present, in this one: John Goodman as the Skipper, Jim Parsons (Big Bang Theory) as Gilligan, and maybe Kelsey Grammer as the Professor...beyond that, it's depressing me to even think about it. (Although Kim K. has just the right amount of non-acting talent to be Ginger...wait; that's even MORE depressing...)

From the old Gilligan's Island pinball game:

"Hey, Ginger! Nice coconuts!"

(And if you are a pinball fan, download the free "Pinball Arcade" for IOS/Android. You won't be sorry, but your "flipper fingers" will be sore! 40 of the best machines ever made, digitized to perfection)

The original Gilligan was played by the actor who played Maynard G. Krebs. Some have suspected that the G stood for Gilligan, and it was actually the same character.

So a whole new generation of young men will spend hours in bars debating Ginger or Marianne, and after the fifth beer shouting BOTH

Which fate would be worse: being shipwrecked with a bunch of maroons, or watching this remake?

The mind boggles.
Really.

I see Chris Walken as Gilligan, Sigourney Weaver as the Skipper, and, um, lessee here, Ah! Tonya Harding as the Professor.

This is why my ideas never get green-lighted.

William Shatner?

heere's why this is also a bad idear - what group of people would not now travel with their GPSs and cells, and whatnot, so they could probly be located in much less than 3 hours. so, where's the plot device - unless they set the movie in the 60s or earlier.... but otherwise, pretty stupid. wait.

Sorry, QB, but you don't take into account those who follow their GPS blindly onto the railroad tracks.

Or the people with ATT.

Bryan Cranston as the "professor". Walter White survives and is relocated to Hawaii by the vacuum cleaner guy.

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