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December 16, 2013
WHAT???
Florida is NUMBER SIX?????
(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)
HOLD OFF ON THAT NOBEL PRIZE FOR THE WEDDING UNICORN
SURVIVAL SKILL OF THE WEEK SO FAR
Making beer on in the wilderness.
(Thanks to John Gregg)
IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR
(Thanks to Ryan Jentzsch)
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
Santas Brawl Near Union Square
(Thanks to Rob Simbeck)
YES, BUT WHO'S ON THE COVER OF PEOPLE MAGAZINE MORE OFTEN?
Jesus the most famous person in the world — Justin Bieber 8,633rd
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
GET THAT NOBEL PRIZE READY
Katy Perry the Wedding Unicorn: she sneezes glitter, pees lemonade, and shoots pink fire
(Thanks to Janice Gelb and Ryan Jentzsch)
December 15, 2013
IMAGINE THE SHRINKAGE
Snowmobile nudist confuses Swedish town
(Thanks to Ryan Jentzsch, Unholy Slacker and Ralph)
IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
IT'S FRANKINCENSE, OFFICER DUDE
THEY ARE MINIONS OF SATAN
Man Allegedly Stole Over $200,000 To Buy Cat Food
(Thanks to Janice Gelb)
EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH
Wal-Mart Employee Arrested For Shooting Co-Worker’s Car Over Award
Guess the state.
(Thanks to Robert Mathis, John Gregg, Bill Hudgins, Ryan Jentzsch and Jeff Meyerson)
IT'S VOMIT-COLORED
UK wants you to tweet the color of your vomit
(Thanks to funny man)
BE ON THE LOOKOUT
Zebra on the loose in Tennessee
(Thanks to The Perts)
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
Seriously. Watch out.
(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)
December 14, 2013
WHOA
(Thanks to The Amazing Steve)
SOMEONE HAD TO DO IT
A Slough greengrocer spent a day finding out how many Brussels sprouts it takes to fill a Mini.
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
MEXICAN LEGISLATOR OF THE WEEK SO FAR
Lawmaker Strips in Congress to Protest Energy Bill
(Thanks to Janice Gelb)
THIS TURNS OUT TO BE A BAD IDEA
Firefighters mistakenly pump jet fuel on fire instead of water
(Thanks to Dave French)
FLASHBACK MIAMI
Here's a new site from the Miami Herald with some great old photos.
December 13, 2013
NOT TO MENTION THAT THEY OPENED FOR BUFFALO SPRINGFIELD
Surprising study reveals warty comb jellies are our earliest relatives
(Thanks to Ross Holley)
'I JUST NEVER LIKED MY TRACHEA'
Bruce Jenner to remove Adam's apple
(Thanks to Chuck Cody)
YOU MIGHT WANT TO REWORD THAT
(Thanks to Scott Weston)
LOVE IS IN THE AIR
You were the hot brunette with curves that farted near the produce this weekend.
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
Mr. Language Person must ask: "Curves that farted?"
THE NO-FUN BRIGADE STRIKES AGAIN
James Bond is an 'impotent drunk'
(Thanks to PirateBoy, Jon Harris and The Perts)
THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN
NEVER GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT ONE
SO DON'T SWEAT THOSE CREDIT-CARD BILLS
Collapse of the universe is closer than ever before
(Thanks to Nelson from Michigan and Ross Holley)
CANADA: LAND OF EXCITEMENT
WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE SHONDELLS
Mysterious ice balls falling from heavens
(Thanks to Jay Brandes)
GOOD GIRL
Of course the dog was named Lucy.
(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)
THAT HAD TO HURT
Rooster testicles seized at NZ border
(Thanks to Ryan Jentzsch)
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
Scientists create 'robotic sperm'
(Thanks to coscolo, Jeffrey Brown and Jeff Schneider)
WHY YOU SHOULD BE GLAD YOU DIDN'T LIVE IN VICTORIAN ENGLAND
Reason Number 3: Exploding toilets.
(Thanks to Clay Schluchter) (Also Thomas Crapper)
December 12, 2013
ATTENTION, L.A.-AREA PEOPLE
Peter and the Starcatcher is playing through January 12 at the @AhmansonTheatre, and through December 30 there's a special $49 ticket offer. For tickets call 213.972.4400 and refer to promo code “STAR,” or go to www.centertheatregroup.org/STAR
MEANWHILE IN ENGLAND
Police 'told to leave Queen's nuts'
(Thanks to Barbara A and Craig Roberts)
AVOID THE MEAT AISLE
THEIR NAMES ARE 'BRITTANI' AND 'CHARM'
Two Californian sisters have both been given boob jobs - by their plastic surgeon father.
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
SENSITIVE DAD OF THE WEEK SO FAR
(Thanks to Claire Martin and Jan in Grimsby)
TODAY'S TOP HEADLINES FROM AROUND THE WORLD
Presidential office denies tracking Wang
New look Beavers yet to find winning touch
This has been Today's top Headlines From Around The World.
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
HUH
(Thanks to Ken Fineberg)
CLASSY!
(Thanks to Mike Zlotnick)
THEY WON'T GET FAR WITHOUT GRAHAM CRACKERS AND MARSHMALLOWS
(Thanks to Greg Snow and Bill Hudgins, who says "Put them behind bars.")
JUST PUTTING IT OUT THERE
If anybody could appreciate my idea for "National Eat Like A Viking Day", it's you Dave. Anyone who could turn Talk Like A Pirate Day into a national phenomenon has no need of The Force or help of Kathleen Sebelius to get this thing rolling.
Some background: the pipes froze at work and so we couldn't run the dishwasher this week; we were out of forks and spoons, nothing left but knives. Rather than eat leftover ravioli with my fingers and get tomato sauce all over my keyboard, I elected to use one of the knives and it was a wonderful experience! Something primordial awakened when I stabbed that pasta/meat(?) product. The urge to chew with my mouth open, wipe the excess sauce on my sleeve, and belch loudly was uncontrollable.
I know Hallmark probably won't be on board with this, but maybe the fine folks at Oneida could be persuaded to help promote Eat Like A Viking Day and get the word out. Commemorative table knives with horned helmets on the ends? Sponsoring a lutefisk eating contest? The company logo proudly displayed on that Swedish Chef muppet's apron?
Low profile government workers like me have limited audience access (and appeal); I have complete faith in your experience with these kind of things and thank you in advance for your efforts.
Gary Olson
Spokane, WA
SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE
Woman Claws Her Way Out of Locked Bathroom as in ‘Shawshank Redemption’
(Thanks to Suzie Q. Wacvet)
THEY'LL MAKE A FORTUNE
Café in France charges rude customers more cash for coffee
(Thanks to The Perts, Ralph and coscolo)
December 11, 2013
WE'RE SURE THERE'S A PERFECTLY INNOCENT EXPLANATION
HOW did a shot glass come to be embedded inside Mr Liu’s bum?
(Thanks to Ralph)
JUST DOING THEIR JOB
Chinese media: smog has at least five benefits
(Thanks to R&L Stevenson)
IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR
Police Called To Home To Break Up Family Fight Over Decorating Of Christmas Tree
(Thanks to Rob Simbeck)