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December 30, 2013

MIAMI: CITY OF TRADITION

Officials: “Just Don’t Fire” Guns On New Year’s Eve

Good luck with that, Officials.

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Go to Delaware. Joe Biden is firing his shotgun off the deck at midnight.

Newton was just some old white guy. What's he know?

That'll do it, Miami Officials. If only you'd told us in the past.

The warning is pointless. Better they should take advantage of the tradition by suspending one or more Kard@shians in the sky at the key moment.

Maybe the officials would have better luck if they told everybody they can fire the guns as long as they don't actually point them at anybody. Or they could just hand some of these out.

Meanie, I think a Kardashian drop would be very festive. What a great idea!

Kardashian skeet?

You need to float something by overhead for them to shoot at....preferably something that will shoot back.

When the bells all ring and the horns all blow
And the couples we know are fondly kissing.
Will I be with you or will I be among the 'missing ' . . . ?

Maybe it's much too early in the game
Ooh, but I thought I'd ask you just the same
What are you shooting New Year's
New Year's eve?

Wonder what arms you'll fire in the night
When it's exactly twelve o'clock that night
Welcoming in the New Year
New Year's eve

Should all Kardashians be then shot
And never brought to mind?
Should all Kardashians be then shot
For the sake of Auld Lang Syne?

For Auld Lang Syne, my friend,
For Auld Lang Syne
We'll take a round of ammo* yet
For Auld lang Syne.


*dum dum bullets, naturally

*snork* @ ligirl, who knows how to breathe new life into the classics

PS What is this nonsense about calling 911 if you "see someone carrying a gun"??? In Chicago, it's expected. (And in Arizona, Failure to Carry is a capital offense)

I'm sure all the gun loons are now reconsidering their New Years plans, as they purvey the morning paper over cappuccinos and brie:

Gun loon #1: I say, Malcolm, it says here that our new year AK volleys are unwelcome. Imagine that!

Gun loon #2: How absurd, Wigglesworth. I'm gobsmacked.

"“I’m begging and pleading that you will put down these guns, stop the violence and understand one mentality: what goes up will come down,” said the Reverend."

And if it doesn't come down after 4 hours, seek medical attention.

Perhaps I have a mental defect (OK, not 'perhaps'), but I own firearms and it never occurred to me to fire them indiscriminately into the sky at any time. Let alone at midnight on New Years Eve. The older I get the less I understand people.

Make It Rain, while I am anti-gun [in civilian hands]
I respect the many responsible gun owners in this country like you to do the right thing. But I put it on you to talk to the stupid gun owners about acting properly. They won't listen to me or the Law. The Armed do not have a Right to impose their badly-used weapons on the citizens of our great country.

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