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October 29, 2013
A QUESTION WE ALL NEED TO PONDER MORE OFTEN
Why doesn't the franchise auto populate?
(Thanks to Ralph)
CHINA: LAND OF MYSTERY
HUGH WENT AS A PATHETIC OLD MAN
Hugh Hefner's wife and Paris Hilton dress as Miley Cyrus for Halloween
(Thanks to The Perts)
WE BELIEVE THEY TOURED WITH THE COWSILLS
Chobani hopes to fix smelly whey pond
(Thanks to Craig Roberts)
CSI: THE SEA
(Thanks to Janice Gelb)
October 28, 2013
THEY'D USE MANILOW, BUT THEN THEY'D CATCH HELL FROM THE HUMAN-RIGHTS GROUPS
Britney Spears music blasted out by merchant navy to SCARE off Somali pirates
(Thanks to Allen at Division and groanup)
THERE IS A GOD
Lightning Strikes Clown Twice On Same Day
(Thanks to DaninTustin)
BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN
ATTENTION, INVESTORS
Epiditi Male Genitals Cooling/Heating Solution Looking for Crowdfunding
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
SOUNDS EFFECTIVE
Phuket police grab privates in police theft case
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
AS IS HIS CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT
Man marked his birthday by urinating against Sunderland library in broad daylight
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
A SMART CRIMINAL WOULD HAVE WORN SOMEBODY ELSE'S UNDERPANTS
Conviction for failed bank robber caught fleeing in his underpants
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
AFTER WHICH THEY WILL BE TOURING WITH METALLICA
Poo-flingers spend the weekend locked up
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
THE GREAT DOG UPRISING
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
LIKE, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT
FLORIDA: THE CLASSY STATE
ATTENTION, NOBEL PRIZE JUDGES
Scentee, which is made by a Japanese company with the same name, plugs into your phone and releases a chosen scent when you get a notification. That means that every time someone comments on your Facebook post or sends you an email, you could get a whiff of lavender or coconut or coffee.
(Thanks to Ken Fineberg, who says: "Eew what's that smell? Oh it's the boss calling.")
WHEN SAUSAGE GOES BAD
THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD LEAVE THE TREATS OUT IN THE OPEN
October 27, 2013
MAN UP, NORWAY
Norway store withdraws bloody severed hands
(Thanks to Joe in Japan)
THERE IS NOTHING LOWER
Police hunt for liquorice thief
(Thanks to Joe in Japan and Ralph)
CAN THIS BE REAL?
DentiDrill: The World's First Professional Dental Drill for Personal Use
(Thsnks to Jon Harris)
Update: It's not for real. It's a clever ad by Dutch health insurance company Ixorg designed to encourage people to pay monthly premiums to cover their dental treatment. -- John Finn
THESE ARE SUCH FUN TIMES WE LIVE IN
High school requires signed dance contract that bans twerking
(Thanks to Jon Harris)
CONGRATS!
An Australian couple thought they'd won a dream vacation when they were revealed as the "lucky" winners of a contest they'd entered online. It turns out the competition, from bogus Canada-based tour company AusCan Tours, was effectively an application to be drug mules.
(Thanks to Ron G.)
OTHER THAN THAT HE DID A FINE JOB
WHEN WE'RE LOOKING FOR INFORMATION ON THE BENEFITS OF HYDRATION
We turn to Pole Dance Magazine Online.
(Thanks to funny man)
CLASSICAL MUSIC REPORT
Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from bringing you the Classical Music Report.
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
TRICKY JOB FOR THE TAXIDERMIST
Norwegian hunter misses elk, hits man on toilet instead
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
SUAVE
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker and funny man)
October 26, 2013
ATTENTION, NOBEL PRIZE JUDGES
OgilvyOne Athens designed a special high-tech bra that tweets each time it is unclasped
(Thanks to Brian Duval)
TERRORISM UPDATE
A brace of ducks wandered into a CVS in Saratoga Springs recently.
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
AND THEY SAY THERE ARE NO MORE HEROES
Georgia man ran back into burning house to save beer
(Thanks to Ralph, Tom Meerschaert, DaninTustin, Joe in Japan, Rod Kirby, funny man, Michael Morrow, Chris Knight and John Egan)
WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR PHISH
BUSTED
Iowa college says squirrel vandalized bicycle
(Thanks to Tom [Not That Tom] and funny man)
MEANWHILE IN THE ONGOING EFFORT TO TAKE THE FUN OUT OF ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING
October 25, 2013
BE ADVISED
Your face may have been sculpted by junk DNA
(Thanks to Ross Holley)
SEND THIS MOUSE TO WASHINGTON
PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER
CALIFORNIA
Homeowner claims sasquatch has moved next door and is throwing rocks at him
(Thanks to Jon Harris)
WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE DEAD
Italian police bust ring of corrupt morticians
(Thanks to Bob Brogan)
IN MIAMI, THIS PERSON WOULD SURVIVE FOR PERHAPS EIGHT SECONDS
CSI: GUERNSEY
AND THE SO-CALLED 'DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE' DOES NOTHING
People are hoarding Halloween cereals.
Key Cereal-Smuggling Term: "Boo Berry mule."
(Thanks to nursecindy)
IT'S ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK
Dental Implant Ends Up in Woman's Sinus
(Thanks to pjd)
October 24, 2013
PROBABLY BONEFISH
Mysterious hum keeping people up all night ‘could be mating fish’
(Thanks to coscolo)
MEANWHILE IN SPORTS
Six Belgian racing pigeons 'doped with drugs'
(Thanks to coscolo)
FINALLY
Funkybod: A push-up undershirt for men
(Thanks to coscolo)