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October 29, 2013

HEAVEN FORBID YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO USE THE BIKE-SHARE SYSTEM WITHOUT GETTING A SAFE-SEX LECTURE

B-cycle partnered with the local condom company to put sponsored safety messages on its 150-bicycle fleet. Below a slogan from Sir Richard's there will be reminders to obey traffic signs, use hand signals, stay off sidewalks and pedestrian malls, and, of course, wear a helmet.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

Comments

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Will there be safe-biking messages on the condoms? Something about the rubber meeting the road?

"Wear a helmet and a condom, but not at the same time"

Or, if you do, prepare to show up on the Blog.

Florida Man Avoids Injury When Girlfriend Bashes Him With Dead Possum During Sex; Credits Helmet For Narrow Escape

Is that a velocipede or are you just glad to see me?

So they have all those warnings for sex, what sort of advice do they have for riding a bicycle?

"Obey signs and signals": excellent advice for sex and cannot be stressed enough.

"use hand signals": especially when your mouth is otherwise occupied.

"stay off sidewalks and pedestrian malls": they are surfaced in concrete and concrete is a very bad surface for sex, I still have a scar on my knee from unsafe sex decades ago.

"wear a helmet": sure in my day we didn't wear helmets for everything but times have changed and you will get far more use out of wearing a helmet when having sex in car than you will doing something like riding a bicycle.

Riding bikes is bad for your man things.

Yeah, no woman is going to be insulted by the saddle thing.

Practice safe sex. Smell our saddles.

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