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September 27, 2013

WE WANT STEPHEN KING TO WRITE A NOVEL FEATURING THIS

Now TOTO has developed a toilet that travels to you, wherever you are.

WHEREVER YOU ARE.

(Thanks to James in NC)

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TOTO is still recording? I remember "Rosanna".

"The video below shows the toilet in action."

Uh, thanks, but no thanks.

(clicking heels...) I wish I were home...

It looks pretty heavy. I envisioned something on wheels that you could move with a remote. If I can't get to the toilet, how will I get this heavy toilet to me? Will the company provide a strong, handsome man to move it for me? A strong, handsome man wearing a kilt? A kilt and no shirt? What were we talking about again?

"Oh, honey, we're on our honeymoon at last and I'm so..."

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Gasp! It couldn't have followed you all the way to Aruba, could it?"

From the Mind of Stephen King and Dave Barry...TOTO THE TOILET IS COMING.

" Open pod bay lid, HAL. "

Will it stop and ask for directions if the lid is up?

Just imagine. It's late at night, around 2 am. As you are driving, you see a cop car on the side of the road up ahead. As you get closer, you realize that you are seeing- for the first time ever, someone getting arrested for PUI

Suzie Q. I vote kilt and no shirt.

First "Carrie," then "Christine," now "John."

As with so many marvels of technology...."Wow!" quickly followed by, "What happens when it Experiences Technical Problems?"

*shudder*

During my flying days, I found that there were devices one could use in "emergencies" when you discovered that the lavatory facilities in a Cessna were modest and understated.
This would have been convenient but somewhat awkward. And, watch those bumps.

Japanese, of course.

Sign says "bedside water (something) toilet" in case you were wondering. And it says that if you weren't wondering, as well.

I was sleeping like a baby until about three a.m., when my dreams began to be troubled by a dripping sound and a strong odor. Thinking it was only a dream, I tossed and turned a few times until a sudden plop caused me to sit bolt upright in horror. It was the toilet, sitting outside in the hall, impatiently waiting for dawn patrol. The false IDs, the midnight bus trip, the canoe journey to this forgotten place, they had all been for nothing, and I was trapped with no way out except the third-story window.
--excerpt from FLUSHED, available Spring 2013

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