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September 27, 2013


Hubert Wayne Simmons thought that if he told the police officer who stopped him after a 100-mph chase that he had meth in his pocket, he wouldn't charge him with it.

(Thanks to Robert Mathis, who asks you to guess the state)


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You learn something new every day.

Gonna fly so high,
I'm never gonna lie.

Born to be jailed,
Born to be jailed ...

Rocket man...
I packed my meth, last night, pre-flight

Felon, "Officer, I have a thermonuclear device in my shorts..."

Officer, "Yeah, that is what they all say."

Hubert Wayne Simmons

Is it bad that I guessed the state right then and there?

Sometimes I want to tell these people, those Miranda rights the cop just told you about? Those are all very good ideas.

Other times I say, nah, just let 'em pee on the electric fence for themselves.

padraig, in the words of Ron White, "I had the right to remain silent. I just didn't have the ability."

Sometimes honesty is not the best policy.

Actually, nursecindy, at that point, honesty was probably a very good policy.
This, courtesy of my extensive knowledge of police procedure gained from watching "Cops".

I'm gonna remember this advice the next time I drive 100+ mph and have drugs on me.

Sometimes they just arrest guys named 'Wayne,' to save time.

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