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August 26, 2013

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE SITUATION IN FLATHEAD COUNTY COULD NOT GET ANY MORE DIRE

8:00 a.m. Someone called in claiming to have watched numerous cows “jog” over the top of a dead cow.

Also:

12:48 p.m. A woman on Conrad Drive reported that someone had wrapped a dead snake around her doorknob. Although the woman wanted it unwrapped and removed, the snake was gone when an animal warden arrived.

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

Comments

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12:49 a.m. It Was Just My Just My Imagination was performed by live by The temptations near the earlier reported damaged trampoline. The Flying Melinda's...

9:50 a.m. A woman walking down Kuzmic Lane in Coram heard what she thought was a call for help. A deputy determined that the noise came from a nearby group of noisy goats.

I am sure I saw The Noisy Goats at the Coachella Festival a few years back.

12:49 a.m. It Was Just My Imagination was performed by live by The temptations near the earlier reported damaged trampoline. The Flying Melinda's...

12:58 a.m. After an intensive investigation like no other Flathead Co. has experienced, the snake was found and is believed to be Marilyn McCoo.

12:01 a.m. A dog on Ridgewood Drive barked for approximately 15 minutes. (Tuesday-Wednesday 20-21 August)

That's what dogs do when they're doing rather than dooing.

I saw Shirtless Clown & The Lug Nuts open for The Noisy Goats.

More lug nut references? Jeff, do I see a trend here?

Another nascent euphemism. "She really had a dead snake wrapped around her doorknob that time!"

I don't know what it's a euphemism for, but that's not really my problem.

Naturally dead snakes don't stick around when they hear the Animal Warden is coming.

The UN Security Council held an emergency session on Flathead County. Russia and China vetoed a proposal to send in peacekeepers.

They know it's unwinnable.

By a strange coincidence, my daughter was on the phone with a friend last night. Her friend reported that her husband (the friend's) had just opened the door to find a snake wrapped around the door knob.
I butted in to tell the friend that it was most likely a rat snake, and harmless.
They already knew that and had sent the snake on his way.

"9:50 a.m. A woman walking down Kuzmic Lane in Coram heard what she thought was a call for help. A deputy determined that the noise came from a nearby group of noisy goats."

What were the goats doing to that poor person who was calling for help? I guess Flathead County deputies are no match for a group of goats.

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