JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE SITUATION IN FLATHEAD COUNTY COULD NOT GET ANY MORE DIRE
8:00 a.m. Someone called in claiming to have watched numerous cows “jog” over the top of a dead cow.
Also:
12:48 p.m. A woman on Conrad Drive reported that someone had wrapped a dead snake around her doorknob. Although the woman wanted it unwrapped and removed, the snake was gone when an animal warden arrived.
(Thanks to W. von Papineau)
12:49 a.m. It Was Just My Just My Imagination was performed by live by The temptations near the earlier reported damaged trampoline. The Flying Melinda's...
Posted by: manual tomato | August 26, 2013 at 04:35 PM
9:50 a.m. A woman walking down Kuzmic Lane in Coram heard what she thought was a call for help. A deputy determined that the noise came from a nearby group of noisy goats.
I am sure I saw The Noisy Goats at the Coachella Festival a few years back.
Posted by: Roberto | August 26, 2013 at 04:35 PM
12:49 a.m. It Was Just My Imagination was performed by live by The temptations near the earlier reported damaged trampoline. The Flying Melinda's...
Posted by: manual tomato | August 26, 2013 at 04:36 PM
12:58 a.m. After an intensive investigation like no other Flathead Co. has experienced, the snake was found and is believed to be Marilyn McCoo.
Posted by: manual tomato | August 26, 2013 at 04:38 PM
12:01 a.m. A dog on Ridgewood Drive barked for approximately 15 minutes. (Tuesday-Wednesday 20-21 August)
That's what dogs do when they're doing rather than dooing.
Posted by: oneblankspace | August 26, 2013 at 05:02 PM
I saw Shirtless Clown & The Lug Nuts open for The Noisy Goats.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | August 26, 2013 at 05:43 PM
More lug nut references? Jeff, do I see a trend here?
Posted by: PirateBoy the Anti-Clown Spokesman | August 26, 2013 at 06:15 PM
Another nascent euphemism. "She really had a dead snake wrapped around her doorknob that time!"
I don't know what it's a euphemism for, but that's not really my problem.
Posted by: Omniskeptic | August 26, 2013 at 09:11 PM
Naturally dead snakes don't stick around when they hear the Animal Warden is coming.
Posted by: Clankie | August 26, 2013 at 10:08 PM
The UN Security Council held an emergency session on Flathead County. Russia and China vetoed a proposal to send in peacekeepers.
Posted by: Fabian Marson | August 27, 2013 at 02:41 AM
They know it's unwinnable.
Posted by: Omniskeptic | August 27, 2013 at 07:46 AM
By a strange coincidence, my daughter was on the phone with a friend last night. Her friend reported that her husband (the friend's) had just opened the door to find a snake wrapped around the door knob.
I butted in to tell the friend that it was most likely a rat snake, and harmless.
They already knew that and had sent the snake on his way.
Posted by: Steve | August 27, 2013 at 09:15 AM
"9:50 a.m. A woman walking down Kuzmic Lane in Coram heard what she thought was a call for help. A deputy determined that the noise came from a nearby group of noisy goats."
What were the goats doing to that poor person who was calling for help? I guess Flathead County deputies are no match for a group of goats.
Posted by: JD | August 27, 2013 at 05:24 PM